What ever it takes

Our family suffers from all or nothing disease. Feast or famine. Yes or no. Good or bad. Best friend or enemy. It is a little to polarizing and quite frankly it gives me whip lash and makes me dizzy because of how quickly the pendulum swings from side to side.

I'll give you an example. Yesterday we are on a lovely family walk. Max is scooting on his scooter and Ben is burning the pavement on his "motorcycle" big wheel. Mike and I are holding hands while our newest addition, Woody, trots along in between us. The all American family portrait walking along the golf course before dinner. The boys know the rules. They can go 2 houses ahead, but then they have to stop. They can wait or they can turn around and come back, but NO MORE THAN 2 HOUSES AHEAD. We are at the end of our lovely walk, which has gone wonderfully, when an over zealous Benjamin sees our house, loses his mind and hauls a$$ to the "finish" line - which is more than 2 houses ahead. Oh, and by the way - this part of our journey is on the street, because we are no longer on the golf course and our neighborhood has no sidewalks. Daddy hands me the leash and tears off after him because between the street noise and the big wheel and the "roar of the crowd" in Ben's head - he doesn't hear our constant yells to stop. Daddy catches him and takes away his privileges for the night which leads to a complete meltdown. Can you imagine? Going from the elated emotions of winning the Big Wheel 5000 Race to the crushing blow of no dessert or TV after dinner? AWFUL!!!
It was a mess - a complete mess. I could see Daddy's point of view because he was upset and worried and Ben didn't listen. I could see Ben's side - he honestly didn't hear us, he was carried away, and he knew he had done wrong when he turned around and saw how far away we were.

There was no middle ground.

SO I decided to find one. I talked to Mike and offered the "Stop Light" feature to our family. Back at the kids previous day care, they used a green light, yellow light, red light program for discipline that straightened my kids up better than a steel rod. Every night, when I would pick them up, I would go to see where they were on the "light" to see how the rest of the night would go. I knew immediately where they were because they were either pulling me to the room to show me "green" or dragging me out of the center to make sure I DIDN'T see "red".

So we ALL agreed to abide by the new traffic rules in our house. They were so excited. We barely made it into the house and they had their crayons out and were drawing stop lights and coloring in circles. I decided to make it a craft project and I got out the paper plates. Daddy suggested making magnets out of some of their cars to represent both of them and where they were on our stop light.

I am pleased to announce both boys have happily and dutifully remained on green ever since....

... we will see.... what ever it takes!!

Uhm...HELLO??!?!?!

People, people, people.....

President, shmesident....

Today is FREE MAKE-UP DAY!!!!

Did you hear me?!?!? Yes... the speech was moving... Michelle - gorgeous! But, come on!! FREE MAKE-UP!!

I am so not on the ball with this one and I am way behind on my strategy, but google it for yourself and good luck to you at the make-up counter!!

Mom, DON'T start!

Mom,

Look... it's been one of those days. I had a rough day on the playground, I was having a helluva time telling the difference between my "p's" and my "q's"... I don't even want to talk about how damn hard it was to get those lines to squiggle to make the number "8". I JUST want to relax and watch the game... OKAY??!?!

Happy 40th Anniversary!

Two of the coolest people I know are celebrating 40 years of marriage this weekend. They have meant more to me the past 20 years than they could ever possibly know. They are my best friend's parents, but they and their family have become an extended family to me and I cannot imagine a life without them. They have brought me endless sources of wisdom, help and examples by which I live my life every day. It is because of them I am a better person - a better friend, a better daughter, a better wife, a better mother.

Wishing you happiness, joy and many years to come!!!

Happy Anniversary!!!

The eyes say it all....

So this is kinda how I have felt these first 13 days of 2009.

I have to admit this is kinda how I have felt most of 2008 as well.

I am probably not the most pleasant person to be around, lately, and if I was pleasant to be around, it was a fabulous job of smoke and mirrors. It is one of those situations were I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and I am so sick and tired of hearing myself speak that I am just not speaking, which of course, is not a good thing. It is the same hamster wheel over and over again, just different day, different clothes.

I am so sick of hearing about it that I can't even Oprah-ize it. And I can pretty much solve all issues with Oprah. Last week I tried DVR-ing her best week ever and I would sit there and just fast forward through most of it... blah blah blah... lose the weight... blah blah blah.... get healthy.. blah blah blah... stop going out to eat and save money .... heard it! Been there! Already doing it!

So... what is next then? Because I cannot sit here. I just can't. It is impossible for me to sit in one place especially when that place is at the bottom of a well and I know better. I know to look up and start my way to the light. My issue this time is I see the light, I am perfectly aware that I am in the dark, but I cannot seem to walk without the inner dialogue of, "You have soooo walked this road before you hypocrite, can't you see you are walking in circles?" And because I am so damn logical, I agree with that nasty little voice and I am frozen.

The one very positive thing I can say this time is that I can see what is wrong. I can see where the flaws in the plan are. I just don't have the clarity to be able to change the plan. I don't have the tools to overcome the obstacles. I am wasting a lot of energy arguing with the nasty little voice calling me names, rather than looking around the island for the tools to build the boat to set me free. I am not forgiving myself for my mistakes and wearing them like battle scars, I am trying to find the cheapest make-up I can afford and "painting" my happy face on....again, smoke and mirrors.

And by the way it is sooo hard to be in the dark when you have the cutest damn kids in the world as a constant source of entertainment. It is so hard to sit criss-cross-applesauce in your self created hole when two fiery red heads come bursting into your cave asking to go on the greatest adventure ever - walking the new dog. And the dog.... the DAMN dog!! You thought kids were great? Try having an animal who knows nothing but instinct attach to your hip and find no greater comfort than to sleep in your lap or chase the ball you have thrown over and over and over again. It is so simple. It is just so simple.

That is it.

It has to be simple.

...A ha......