Public Toilet Seats

I have just about had it...
I am sick of you ladies... and you know who you are... Ladies who (as my mama would say) "sound like a cow pissing on a flat rock"....ladies who are so scared to sit on public toilet seats because your ass germs are so much more sacred than the rest of us... so much so that the reason it is disgusting to sit on public toilet seats is beacuse of those of you who hover ten feet off the ground and spray your sacred ass germs all over the seat! And you know it is you... because if it had been the remains of the dirty ass who sat on the seat, it would be smeared... but no... it is a perfect round freshly laid bubble of sacred ass germ, straight from your ass.... the ass that has just walked away thankful that her sacred ass didn't get contaminated with dirty germs, but who has no concern to turn around, check for her own sacred germs, and WIPE THE SEAT!!
.. Goodness gracious, no.... then those dirty germs might touch those sacred hands that you didn't bother to wash when you grabbed the handle of the door to walk out of the bathroom with your sacred ass germs all over them ....

SIT...YOUR...ASS...DOWN......(on pretty paper laid delicatly on the seat if you have to...)

He is still just 2...

(TV commercial blaring between Jimmy Neutron & Spongebob)
Max: Mommy look... dinosaurs!
Me: I know.. how cool! It's a movie at the IMAX.
Max: (frown) no mommy... I Max...
Me: Yes, baby, you are Max.. but the dinosaurs are at the movies..remember the big TV with the popcorn? It's called IMAX.
Max: (angry frown) YOU MOMMY... I - MAX!!
Me: ... Yes baby... you are right... you're Max....

One of My Worst Mommy Fears

So, one of my worst mommy fears came true on Friday.
We have already established in previous posts that I tend to be a Shirly McLaine, "Terms of Endearment" type mom. One of my biggest fears is not hearing them in the shower or when I am drying my hair. I always check on them right before and right after these activities. I just know that if their little worlds are going to come crashing down,I am sure that it is going to happen during this brief time.. okay.. maybe not too brief, I do have a lot of hair, after all. I am sooo paranoid that I truly believe that I hear things through the hair dryer noise and I am constantly cutting the hair dryer off, listening for chaos, then continuing with my beauty ritual.
Friday the ritual occurs as usual, only this time, my fear comes true. I cut off my hair dryer to hear Max wailing in the living room. I run into the room to find him face down on the floor, nothing moving except his head which is emitting the <"This really hurts" wail and not the "I fell again and I want to see if I can con mommy out of a popsicle" whine. I swoop him up into my shoulder to comfort him. I pull him away so that I can ask him what hurts and he flips out because my shoulder is not covered in blood.
Oh, shit...please don't let this be bad...
We calmly go to the kitchen so that I can clean him up and see where the blood is coming from. Luckily, the majority of the damage is just snot and tears mixed wit the blood that is coming out of his nose. Nothing broken, nothing harmed...thank goodness.
This could have led me to one of my other fears...having to call an ambulence when you are naked and dripping wet. 'Cause if you had to call the ambulence while you are still naked and wet, then it is serious enough that you can't walk away from the patient long enough to get dressed... but I will leave this dilema for another post.

I love Tarot

I am The World The World represents the moments when we feel fulfilled and blessed and all that goes into them. It is a very positive sign that you are in a position to realize your heart's desire. What that is for you depends on the situation, but it will always feel great. Remember, though, that Card 21 is a symbol of active contribution and service. To hold the World in our hands, we must give of ourselves to it. That is the source of true happiness. For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate. Month: Day: Year:

What a Weekend!!

Oh what a fun weekend! I am taking the opportunity to get this in now while the memories are still fresh. The kids are napping (yes the post time is correct, it is almost 7:00 PM... I think we are hoping that they will sleep straight through until moring after the busy weeekend we have had!)
Friday, Max had a petting zoo at school which he flipped over! Then Friday night the K5 crew (my sister and her kids) came to spend the weekend.
Saturday, family wedding with all the kids and all the extended relatives. Lots and lots of fun. Max was quite the Mack Daddy (separate post, I promise...with pics)
Sunday, brunch with the extended family!
Monday, neighborhood parade, followed by slip 'n slide and water balloons while Mike fired up the grill!
I am too tired to be wordy so here are the pics...
...possibly too tired for fireworks other than on TV..we will have to see...



Max slippin and slidin... 

Pretty Girl just getting her feet wet 

Splish Splash'in Kameron 

Even Woobie-Tang got in the action! 

Ben sure was hot, but he was having fun! 

Wet rats lunch! 

The 4th of July Parade in our neighborhood. These kids have come to this parade even when they were just growing in their mommies' tummies! 

For Kenneth

My dear sweet loving brother-in-law,

I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done over the years keeping Dad's beautiful Infiniti running. From brakes to thinga-ma-bobs and whatcha whosits, you kept her running beautifully. You even took time off during your all to brief visit to detail the inside and hide all the abuse that I along with my children have done. And this is how I repay you......












Ouch 

 

 

 

Help

Can someone tell me why I just loaded haloscan to my blog and lost all of my comments?
Can someone tell me if I can get them back?
Can someone tell me why I succumbed to peer pressure and added something to my blog that I know nothing about?

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

MoTher F &^%ER..SORRY SACK OF S^%T....

AHH..MOther F&%*!@ ..sorry sack of S^%$#...bastard...A^%$hole...b*&^tch...

I totalled my car...
My FATHER'S car....
The last piece of him that I really needed....

If anyone can help me with some more words to help vent my frustration I would be very appreciative.

The 1st's are over...

 

The 1st's are over...
the 1st night without him,
the 1st week,
the 1st month,
the 1st Father's Day,
the 1st time I walked into his closet and could smell his cologne still on his clothes,
the 1st birthday he missed,
the 1st time I visited his grave after the funeral,
the 1st time I answered, "Really, I am okay..." and meant it,
the 1st time I heard his favorite song on the radio and cried,
the 1st Thanksgiving,
the 1st Christmas,
the 1st time I dreamt about him and he looked the way he looked before he got sick,
the 1st tax season I actually had to do my own taxes,
the 1st birthday card without his name on the card,
the 1st time my mother said, "Really, I am okay..." and I believed her...
...the 1st year is over...
To see what a great guy my dad was, visit here and click on the "play movie".

Skipping therapy....

I have already stated previously that this blog is my cheap version of self therapy. I have been very anxious and strung out lately and been very lazy about attending to my theraputic lessons here at "Blah..blah..blah.... and it is obvious. I have lost a little control lately. You know that control button that freaks out right before you try to start anything new in your life? For some strange reason I thought by sending out an edict to the Universe, "My life needs to change or else" that the Universe would know exactly what I meant and I would wake up to a beautiful body, adoring husband who cleans the kitchen and mops the floors, a beautiful clean house with a new creative room/study ...(yes, the damn room is still in boxes) , a job where my work was caught up and fulfilling, yada yada....
...silly fool...
Had a wonderful weekend though! I escaped to Richmond to meet Jimmy! No, I am not cheating on Mike... Jimmy is Tiff's little boy. Precious, just absolutely precious. I brought a huge suitcase filled with 50lbs of clothes ranging from 0-6 months. We had such a great weekend sitting around doing nothing, and drinking wine...lots of wine. Two glasses into the evening when my eyes blinked a little slower but my mouth seemed to speed up with ease, I realized it had been way too long since I had done this! Cried when I got off the plane and saw her, cried when I got back on the plane and left her...Oh I love you, pretty girl!! Just pack it up and come home...Shaun will understand, right?!?!