What ever it takes

Our family suffers from all or nothing disease. Feast or famine. Yes or no. Good or bad. Best friend or enemy. It is a little to polarizing and quite frankly it gives me whip lash and makes me dizzy because of how quickly the pendulum swings from side to side.

I'll give you an example. Yesterday we are on a lovely family walk. Max is scooting on his scooter and Ben is burning the pavement on his "motorcycle" big wheel. Mike and I are holding hands while our newest addition, Woody, trots along in between us. The all American family portrait walking along the golf course before dinner. The boys know the rules. They can go 2 houses ahead, but then they have to stop. They can wait or they can turn around and come back, but NO MORE THAN 2 HOUSES AHEAD. We are at the end of our lovely walk, which has gone wonderfully, when an over zealous Benjamin sees our house, loses his mind and hauls a$$ to the "finish" line - which is more than 2 houses ahead. Oh, and by the way - this part of our journey is on the street, because we are no longer on the golf course and our neighborhood has no sidewalks. Daddy hands me the leash and tears off after him because between the street noise and the big wheel and the "roar of the crowd" in Ben's head - he doesn't hear our constant yells to stop. Daddy catches him and takes away his privileges for the night which leads to a complete meltdown. Can you imagine? Going from the elated emotions of winning the Big Wheel 5000 Race to the crushing blow of no dessert or TV after dinner? AWFUL!!!
It was a mess - a complete mess. I could see Daddy's point of view because he was upset and worried and Ben didn't listen. I could see Ben's side - he honestly didn't hear us, he was carried away, and he knew he had done wrong when he turned around and saw how far away we were.

There was no middle ground.

SO I decided to find one. I talked to Mike and offered the "Stop Light" feature to our family. Back at the kids previous day care, they used a green light, yellow light, red light program for discipline that straightened my kids up better than a steel rod. Every night, when I would pick them up, I would go to see where they were on the "light" to see how the rest of the night would go. I knew immediately where they were because they were either pulling me to the room to show me "green" or dragging me out of the center to make sure I DIDN'T see "red".

So we ALL agreed to abide by the new traffic rules in our house. They were so excited. We barely made it into the house and they had their crayons out and were drawing stop lights and coloring in circles. I decided to make it a craft project and I got out the paper plates. Daddy suggested making magnets out of some of their cars to represent both of them and where they were on our stop light.

I am pleased to announce both boys have happily and dutifully remained on green ever since....

... we will see.... what ever it takes!!

Uhm...HELLO??!?!?!

People, people, people.....

President, shmesident....

Today is FREE MAKE-UP DAY!!!!

Did you hear me?!?!? Yes... the speech was moving... Michelle - gorgeous! But, come on!! FREE MAKE-UP!!

I am so not on the ball with this one and I am way behind on my strategy, but google it for yourself and good luck to you at the make-up counter!!

Mom, DON'T start!

Mom,

Look... it's been one of those days. I had a rough day on the playground, I was having a helluva time telling the difference between my "p's" and my "q's"... I don't even want to talk about how damn hard it was to get those lines to squiggle to make the number "8". I JUST want to relax and watch the game... OKAY??!?!

Happy 40th Anniversary!

Two of the coolest people I know are celebrating 40 years of marriage this weekend. They have meant more to me the past 20 years than they could ever possibly know. They are my best friend's parents, but they and their family have become an extended family to me and I cannot imagine a life without them. They have brought me endless sources of wisdom, help and examples by which I live my life every day. It is because of them I am a better person - a better friend, a better daughter, a better wife, a better mother.

Wishing you happiness, joy and many years to come!!!

Happy Anniversary!!!

The eyes say it all....

So this is kinda how I have felt these first 13 days of 2009.

I have to admit this is kinda how I have felt most of 2008 as well.

I am probably not the most pleasant person to be around, lately, and if I was pleasant to be around, it was a fabulous job of smoke and mirrors. It is one of those situations were I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and I am so sick and tired of hearing myself speak that I am just not speaking, which of course, is not a good thing. It is the same hamster wheel over and over again, just different day, different clothes.

I am so sick of hearing about it that I can't even Oprah-ize it. And I can pretty much solve all issues with Oprah. Last week I tried DVR-ing her best week ever and I would sit there and just fast forward through most of it... blah blah blah... lose the weight... blah blah blah.... get healthy.. blah blah blah... stop going out to eat and save money .... heard it! Been there! Already doing it!

So... what is next then? Because I cannot sit here. I just can't. It is impossible for me to sit in one place especially when that place is at the bottom of a well and I know better. I know to look up and start my way to the light. My issue this time is I see the light, I am perfectly aware that I am in the dark, but I cannot seem to walk without the inner dialogue of, "You have soooo walked this road before you hypocrite, can't you see you are walking in circles?" And because I am so damn logical, I agree with that nasty little voice and I am frozen.

The one very positive thing I can say this time is that I can see what is wrong. I can see where the flaws in the plan are. I just don't have the clarity to be able to change the plan. I don't have the tools to overcome the obstacles. I am wasting a lot of energy arguing with the nasty little voice calling me names, rather than looking around the island for the tools to build the boat to set me free. I am not forgiving myself for my mistakes and wearing them like battle scars, I am trying to find the cheapest make-up I can afford and "painting" my happy face on....again, smoke and mirrors.

And by the way it is sooo hard to be in the dark when you have the cutest damn kids in the world as a constant source of entertainment. It is so hard to sit criss-cross-applesauce in your self created hole when two fiery red heads come bursting into your cave asking to go on the greatest adventure ever - walking the new dog. And the dog.... the DAMN dog!! You thought kids were great? Try having an animal who knows nothing but instinct attach to your hip and find no greater comfort than to sleep in your lap or chase the ball you have thrown over and over and over again. It is so simple. It is just so simple.

That is it.

It has to be simple.

...A ha......

A Year in Review:

I did this last year (as you will see in the first entry of January below). I found it the perfect way to tie up the year in a nice pretty bloggy bow. You are supposed to take the first sentence of the first blog of each month:

JANUARY - So, of course I have had grand plans to write deep thoughts about last year and hopeful thoughts of this year, but that ain't happening..... so I thought I would try the blog meme that has been going around were you post the first sentence of the first post of each month.... and I think it sums up the year quite nicely....

FEBRUARY - There is nothing like a practical joke from God to kick start your morning.....

MARCH - I have decided that I am going to participate in Oprah's latest adventure

APRIL - Yes, ladies and and gents.... with the arrival of the April showers, we enter the month of my birth.

MAY - So apparently we will be dragging this process out slightly longer than expected.

JUNE - I feel all weird trying to think of something to post because it has been so long since I have posted.

JULY - Well.... what an adventure we had in California!

AUGUST - So today is the last day Max and Ben will be at the only school they have every known.

SEPTEMBER - I know they do.

OCTOBER - THE FOLLOWING POST WAS WRITTEN OVER SEVERAL DAYS WHILE I DID NOT HAVE INTERNET ACCESS: So I hear we are in an economic crisis right now.

NOVEMBER - The sweetest, most gentle man I have ever known - the one man whose sole purpose in MY world was to be the best grandpa he could be, passed away tonight at the age of 92.

DECEMBER - I cannot find my jingle bells this season.

Christmas 2008

So Christmas this year was a huge success! I was up until 3 AM and it only took 2 cycles of "A Christmas Story" to get done what we needed to do! At 6:45, I was up and bursting with excitement. The kids refused to wake up until 8:00 after Mike unsuccessfully threw things at their closed door to wake them up, and then was forced to go upstairs, turn some music on then run like crazy back downstairs and pretend to be asleep in bed. Max finally wiped the sleepy out of his eyes and whispered "Santa came" from upstairs then tore down to our bedroom to find us "sleeping" ... me with my glasses on and clutching the camera under the covers. For all of our Christmas merriment and the big puppy reveal see below......

Merry Christmas

10:27 pm

Merry Christmas to all....

... and to Max & Ben.... GO TO BED!!!!

Done

Monday - December 22 -

* * * * 7:40 PM * * * *

Drop the kids at mom's because other than a dog, we have done NO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.

* * * * 9:48 PM * * * *

Done.

Power to the Procrastinators!

Let's play a game, shall we?!?!

Let's play a game.... shall we?!?!

You have all met Woody ... right?.... sweet adorable puppy Woody. He was from the humane society as a stray... they told us he was a German Shepherd /Chow Chow mix. That's what they said. They have a great disclaimer - no previous info. That basically means, spin the wheel and good luck. Well, I will tell you almost immediately, I saw no chow in him; no smushy face, no black tongue, no fur ball. I thought he was quite light for a german sherpherd but, hey, if he was a mix, maybe he took the color of chow and the body of German Shepherd.

I was not the only one who questioned his background and possible breed. Lauren - his Godmother - took him to petsmart and was wandering around when a lighting bolt struck her. She came home and thanks to the power of google, she was able to back her theory with photos which she forwarded to me and shortly thereafter I passed out....

So... let's play our game shall we


First... a pic of Woody again....



Now... you decide... does he look more like "A" or "B"

A




B



Let's try again.... "A" or "B"


A




B




Looks a helluva a lot more like "B" in both, right... yeah.. right.... cause guess what....





B turns into this:







Bull, English, or American Mastiff
130-200 lbs

Conversations with Ben

The boys have been especially Christmassy lately. Yesterday when we got home from work/school they tore through the house to turn on all the Christmas lights and then they wanted to drink hot chocolate and watch "Elf" (they LOVE Will Ferrell in this movie) - then Polar Express was on TV so we watched the end of that. Max has a pajama day tomorrow at school and both have holiday parties and concerts on Friday. Bottom line - their sleigh bells are ringing.
So this morning the topic of Santa and gifts came up as we were getting ready for school. Max informed us that he has already written a letter to Santa at school and that upset Ben very much, because he had not written one yet. He said he didn't know how to write the letters and I told him that I would help him tonight. I said he had all day to think about what he was going to ask for from Santa.

And then he lit up like a Christmas tree....

A DOG!!!

Mike and I froze - trying very hard to wipe any expression off of our faces.

"You mean a stuffy?" Mike asks - our word for stuffed animal.
"No - a REAL DOG!!"
Me - "Pumpkin - I don't think Santa can bring you a real dog - how would he fit in the sleigh?"
"NO!! We have to go to the STORE and GET HIM!!"
"What? You think Santa is going to give you a coupon for a puppy?"
"MAYBE!!!!"

I then gave Mike eyes to shut the conversation down before we gave too much away....

And so begins the magic of this Christmas memory....

Introducing......

Woody.....





So before I go into the story of our latest adoption, I must start this post with 1,000 thank you's and forever praise to Lauren and TJ for fostering our newest little angel!! We had not planned on taking possession of a puppy this soon, but this one was fixed, had his shots, and even micro chipped, so it was now or never. I just cannot say thank you enough for loving and caring for this adorable little guy for us so that we can have our Christmas morning moment!

Now - on to the story. So we head over to Walmart to pick up a kennel and a leash thinking there may be a possibility we have to take a dog that day. As we are getting a kennel, another lady is getting one because she just adopted a sweet little terrier across the street at the Petsmart from the Human society. I asked if there were any other puppies and she said yes, so I told Mike we should stop their first. The moment I pick up Woody, I put him in front of my face and he patiently sits there nose to nose, not moving.... not scared, just very comfortable. I then cradle him a little and he adjusts himself to nuzzle right in the crook of my neck. Danger... danger..... Mike had Woody's brother and was holding him, and he was a little more rambunctious. Well, every time Mike would readjust holding the brother, Woody would put his head up off of my shoulder in this very protective big brother way like, "What are you doing to my brother? You got him? Are you gonna drop him?!?!" So, I put him back down in the play area and told the nice lady, I just couldn't adopt the very first puppy I held, so maybe we would see her later. She casually smiled and said, if you haven't been to the big facility yet, I will not be surprised if I don't see you again.
We head off to the humane society. Gorgeous facility - gorgeous dogs - adorable puppies. I would have taken 10 of the dogs, but even walking through the large kennels, my inner gut feeling that the boys, who a shy around dogs, wouldn't bond with a large older dog. We would need to start small and let the puppy grow with them. The puppies were all adopted or had pending adoptions, so we headed off to the next place.
BARC - basically the pound. Sad. Sad. Sad. I am fully aware of the fact that this is an animal CONTROL center, but it felt remarkably like a prison insane asylum. The even more sad part was that 50% of the animals were pit bulls. Gorgeous pit bulls, easily 10-20 pit bull puppies, but no history, no idea how aggressive their bloodlines are, no idea what their history is. There was one sweet little German shepherd female puppy that we played with but playing with her we could tell something was wrong. She had tried several times to use the restroom and nothing was coming out and she was so skinny I could see every bone in her sweet little body. Too much for our first pet.
Off to the ASPCA - this was like the zoo of all the places we went to .... lines out the door of people waiting for adoptions... great dogs - but no puppies. My dream chocolate lab was there but he was taller than Max and I knew there was no way that was going to happen.
So we went outside to the car and talked. I knew Mike really like Woody. All the other puppies we held or looked at he never really attached to or he would comment "Well, with the other one...." So I called the Petsmart - did they still have Woody? Yes - but they would probably be there soon to get him to take him back to the shelter. WE ARE ON THE WAY - should we go back to the shelter and meet him there? No - come here.
So - we got him - and he is adorable - He is a German Shepherd Chow mix according to his paperwork, but the only chow I see is the texture of the hair - soft soft soft. I can't wait to introduce him to the boys. Last night at Lauren and Travis' he would just wander up and snuggle right on your leg or shoe and fall asleep. He took his toys quickly. Reports this morning is that he is very playful and perhaps we should re-consider a name like Simba! By the way - I have a pets named after Disney characters kind of thing - so the fact that his name was Woody was perfect - of course Simba is adorable too... the boys may get a choice. I cannot leave it up to them to name him because it will turn out like the fish whose name was Koala Albert and the chipmunks Fishy.

Not MY child!

So there is a wonderful gut wrenching feeling that tends to come over a mother's body when she sees the bus driver escorting her six year old son off the bus with a bloody lip. It is a cross between knee weakening panic and mind blowing rage. It is in this state that most information coming out of the bus driver's mouth sounds like, "wah wah wah, see his lip, well, wah wah wah wah wah - fight with (name of other kid)- wah wah wah wah wah - may not be able to ride bus - wah wah wah wah wah wah - just wanted to let you know!"

Uhm, okay - thank you, thank you for the "wah wah wah" information - (I now have to either kill my child or go google the house of (child's name) and kill them....)

Wait - take a breath - get story - find out what happened -

Max, baby - what happened?
It all (child's name)'s fault!!! He pushed me and I TRIED to tell a teacher but she wouldn't listen to me and he kept pushing me and so I pushed him back and then he hit me and then the teacher yelled at us and NOW I can't have recess tomorrow and it as all (child's name)'s fault and now he is my enemy and it's not FAIR!!!!!!
Wait - this is (child's name) from you class? I thought he was one of your best friends?
He isn't ANYMORE - now he is my enemy.....
Okay - that is a very serious word and I do not like you using it. You may not like what he did today, but that doesn't mean you won't be friends again.

Okay - so now I have 2 parts of this story - the "wah wah wah" information from the bus driver and the run on sentence from the "life is not fair" kindergartener. Okay - next - immediately call teacher at school.

This is Max's mom
I heard what happened...
What did happen?
Well, you tell me what you know
(Okay, now I am starting to feel like I am in a Abbott and Costello routine)
Well bus driver was vague - (always best to not let teacher know mind blowing rage prevented you from hearing anything but Charlie Brown teacher voice when bus driver was speaking) and Max was too upset to discuss calmly. But honestly - I know boys can be boys - I am really not worried about the fight - I am worried that this happens more often than not and we need to address this at home. Are you having trouble with Max?
Well, I am going to talk with both of the boys tomorrow.
(I don't want YOU to talk with them - I want to talk with MY son) Thank you - I appreciate that - but I just want to make sure that we do everything we can to make your job easier - so please - the moment you have any issues, please let us know and we will take care of it immediately.
You know (child's name) is such a sweet boy, I just cannot imagine this happening with these boys.
(I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE OTHER BOY) I have no doubt this was a boys will be boys situation - I just don't want to go from Max is doing great to Max is being kicked off the bus because of a fight - there is a lot of grey in between and I want to correct the situation BEFORE we get there.

I do not play the nicey nice game well at all - I am a meat and bones kind of person. I am a get to the point, the real point, and only the point person. So the dance around the topic and think of the nicest sugar coated way to say everything approach pretty much drives me bonkers. The fact that most education systems now days have a "don't say that" policy layered with a "no tolerance" policy is, quite frankly, absurd. Don't speak frankly with a parent about anything, but the moment something hits the fan - the kid is out, no questions asked, no discussion. WAIT - WHOA - aren't we missing a few steps here?

Now do not get me wrong - I know the system is not perfect - nothing is - including my child - my child was 50% responsible for that fight and trust me - I don't care who started it, we ended it. Both my husband and I had long talks with Max yesterday and today and this morning we both met the bus driver to witness the apology and discuss the fact that it was never going to happen again.

This time I was much calmer and "wah wah wah" turned into - it didn't happen on the bus, he didn't see it happen - he has no idea why they threatened to take them off the bus because he has never had problems with either child.

So the rest of the story is - I have a bus driver who tells me the kids never give him a problem - I have a school teacher who says she never has a problem with the kids - and I have a child who tells me that a (bus duty) teacher would not listen to him when he tried to do the right thing so it escalated when the kids got frustrated.

Now I have to google (bus duty) teacher... listen lady - don't ignore my child when he is trying to follow the rules then threaten him when things escalate behind your back.

It's snowing!!

In Houston!!

I am sitting at my desk writing Christmas cards and watching the snow fall outside my window.

... I think I have found my jingle bells ....

Happy Birthday , Ben!

My dear sweet baby, Ben,

Yes, Angel... TODAY is finally your birthday!!! You have been asking almost daily since your brother's birthday if it was your turn and TODAY is the big day!! Today was your Kung Fu panda cupcakes to share at school, today was your birthday presents, today was your chance to pick where we went to dinner, TODAY WAS YOUR DAY!!! Everything you did was, "Do I get to do this because it is my birthday?" I of course said yes to each and every question even though it is the same daily task we would do on a non-birthday day, but today it seemed soooo much more important followed by, "because it is my birthday!"

Four years old. My baby is four years old. The other day we were snuggling in the wee hours of morning trying to find the gumption to get up and get going with our day. You were in your usual early morning snuggle spot, nestled closely in the crook of my neck, and we were all talking about "stuff" when the topic of mommy having another baby came up. We asked both you and your brother if you thought mommy should have another baby. Max of course enthusiastically said, "YES!!" but you.... you removed yourself from my snuggly embrace, sat up, turned around and looked me straight in the eyes,"YOU don't need another baby, HELLO!! (slapping your hand on your chest) I'M THE BABY!!"



As much as you want to retain your status as the family baby, you cannot wait to throw away your toddler shorts and put your big boy pants on!! You have been in a hurry since you were born. You have no patience to learn a skill which frustrates you to temper tantrums, but those times usually pass quickly because it takes you no time to learn whatever it is your are striving to be the best at.... and best meaning better than your brother.

You are quite the little athlete. You swim like a fish, ride your bike like you are in a race, throw a ball like it is the world series, and kick balls like you are hearing "GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!" screaming in the stands. You want to be a rock and roll star and play your toy guitar with the radio, bobbing your head with the beat, throwing in dance moves that would make any lead guitarist jealous. If you really like a song, you head over to the radio and turn the volume up. When your brother complains, you mumble something similar to daddy's favorite phrase, if it is too loud you are too old!



You have had a rough year this year between surgery to remove your tonsils and all the probing and prodding when we were worried you might have diabetes. Luckily everything has calmed down, but you handled each challenge like a champ. You took your medicine and fought through the pain better than most adults I know. You really were my hero during these times.



Oh my gosh, Benjamin. Thank you so much for allowing me to be your mommy. You bring me great happiness, joy, entertainment, wisdom, and life.

Thank you - thank you - thank you!

I love you,
Mommy


Re-post from last year:

What is wrong with me?!?

I cannot find my jingle bells this season. I have never seemed to have this problem in the past . So what's the deal this season? I turned the music on and it is not causing the normal chills, the normal excitement. I have talked with friends over the weekend - even the crazy ones who barely got off the "shipp" and already have their decorations up inside and out!

Part of it may be that it was hot this year. It is hard to eat Thanksgiving dinner when it is 80 degrees outside. Part of it may be exhaustion from the past few months events.

Or maybe, dare I say it... I am growing out of it? Oh God, NO!!! NOT ME?!?!?
But yes.... I think that is part of it. I know I should keep a good face for the kids, but my normal passion to throw tinsel and lights on anything that would sit still the moment you clean up Thanksgiving dinner has slowly silently dimmed over the past few years. I used label it all sorts of things like new babies or crammed schedules, but not this year. This year I have no excuse to use as my label.

I know this may be hard for some to hear from this queen of Christmas sweaters and poinsettias in her hair (it was a long time ago, I swear).

Bah humbuggy, Mrs. Grinch... what is wrong with me?!?!?!

Not for Me

Black Friday is just not for me. I just cannot play with the big dogs. I cannot function at 4 and 5 in the morning. I cannot plot out and attack a Christmas list with the excitement and verve like most women in their hottest sweats and pony tails on this blessed of all shopping days. I want to... really I do. For years I have pulled out the newspapers, gone on line, circled and fantasized that I too was going to have my entire Christmas list checked off by noon on the last Friday in November, and then that damn alarm clock goes off and rather than bounce out of bed, I bounce the alarm clock off the farthest wall in my bedroom.

And it is not just the early hours. It is the hunt. This day is reserved for the queen bee shoppers of all shoppers... the cut throat deal makers and breakers... you know, the women when you compliment them on their outfit they reply with the cost and location of the kill?? That is who is successful on these days. You can take no prisoners and being polite is for the lame.

I once went to Tuesday Morning on an opening day. For those of you who do not know, Tuesday Morning is a store that sells high end home decor type items discounted. They used to only be open for small periods of time. They would stock up on deals - have an opening day, sell for a few weeks then close again. Well, when I was moving into my first new house, I decided I wanted to go to one of the opening mornings to get some things for the new house. They opened at 7 AM. I decide, this is important to me, so I am gonna pretend this is high school and I am camping out for George Micheal or Def Leppard concert tickets and get there before the store opens - 6:30. Funny girl.... the line was already wrapped around the store. Okay - no problem - this is a big store, I am sure I will get some things on my list from the mailer. The doors open at 7:00 and it was very similar to the running of the brides at Filene's Basement. I was slightly overwhelmed that the old lady behind me shoved me in the door on her way to the oriental rugs. Okay.. here we go.... gotta get the bed spread... gotta get the bed spread.... turn down the aisle and the neatly stacked comforter sets are now all over the place. I dodge to and fro around flower patterns and twin size princess comforters and see my prize - in king size - I reach up to grab my beloved comforter - the base of my entire room decor - when a women a foot smaller than me jumps in front of me, leaps up like she is slam dunking and grabs the damn set. She was so small that she couldn't control it and it hits me on the way to the floor. She proceeds to protect it like Gollum protecting "precious" while hollering for her shopping partner to come look. I politely ask if she chooses not to purchase it, I would really like it, to which she scoffs - "Uh, Yeah, NO!! I WANT THIS ONE!!"

Okay.....

I walk away - not sure what just happened, but way too polite to start a smack down fight at 7:00 in the morning on a random Tuesday over a comforter. I start walking through the store looking for other things I had placed on my list, but my casual "window shopping" stroll did not match the all out hunting techniques of the women in the store. I was so overwhelmed, I just put the few things I had found down and decided I would come back. If they were still there, then it was meant to be. I have never been to a "opening" since.

So you see... I admire all of you black Friday shoppers, really I do.... and I would love to join your ranks almost as much as I wanted to sit at the cool kids table at lunch, but I am much better suited with my own kind - the "Damn it, it is Dec. 24th and I have bought nothing and nothing is wrapped, and shit I am never going to get to sleep tonight" clique....

A New Mommy High.....

A new mommy high.... or low depending on your perspective....

So Max is my boundary child. He is the child who constantly tests my limits and then pushes them juuuuust that much further to see if mommy's head really is going to explode. Luckily, to this point, his scientific theories on mommy's relative patience have only resulted in minor time outs, lack of TV, and puddles of tears and snot from amazing performances in the total meltdown hissy fit catagory.... mostly my tears, snot and meltdowns, but that is a different story.

What is the number one fight in our house?

Following directions - the FIRST TIME.

What is the tippy top item on the list of things asked of him?

Get dressed.... by yourself... everything from underwear to shoes.... NOW!!

I will admit that this morning's fiasco started with my poor decision to allow them to watch TV while I was getting dressed. I was being "nice" since this morning was technically a holiday for them and even though they were going to daycare, a little morning eye candy couldn't kill the morning routine THAT bad, could it?!?!

"Max get dressed...."

I pass the TV room on the way to the kitchen to put the waffles in the toaster

"Max get dressed....."

I pass back past the TV room on the way back to the bedroom to finish getting dressed.

DAMN DIRTY APES... forgot my pants hanging in the laundry room!!

"Max... I am serious.. get dressed"

Pass one last time on the path from laundry room to bedroom...

"Max... if I come back in here and you are not dressed, you will lose your TV privileges for the day, do you hear me?!?"

Blank TV stare nod.....

Several minutes later I reappear from the bedroom looking like "Leave it to Beav's" mom ready for my day... and guess what I find in my TV room.... a half naked child with nothing but underwear on.

"That's it! (march over and turn off TV) You have lost your TV privileges!"

START COMPLETE CRYING SCREAMING MELTDOWN

It is hear that I normally match the ear screeching decibel that my child has magically created, but today.... no.... today I was done... D-U-N!! I calmly walked out of the room and headed to the kitchen to complete our breakfast on the go and my lunch. During this time, Ben (my first class ass kisser) is following me around with, "Max is really having a bad day, huh, mommy? I'm dressed, SEE?!?! I got all DRESSED... I am ready to go!!"

I complete the tasks in the kitchen, gather our stuff and escort Ben out to the car. I then wander through the house turning off lights and making sure doors are locked, all to the sweet soothing sounds of my 6 year old SCREAMING/CRYING at the top of his lungs: "WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I WAAAAAANNNNNTTT TTTTTTTVVVVVVV!!!!WAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

Once the final house check is complete, I grab Max's clothes and get behind him and nudge him to the door.
He starts to walk, giggling at first, because clearly mommy is playing a joke, I am not dressed yet.
Nudge - push further to the door
Nervous twitter, wait, we are at the door.
NUDGE - PUSH
HOLY PATOOTERS BATMAN!!, She is NOT joking!! MAY DAY!! MAY DAY!! I am leaving the house in underwear!!
PICK UP - SHOVE
"Mommy, what are you doing?!?!"
"MOMMY!! It is TOO COLD outside!!"
"Then you probably should have put your clothes on when I asked you!"
"MOMMY, PLEASE!!"
PUSH-SHOVE into car
(Panic crying) "MOMMY, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!"
"I am not doing anything to you. I told you 5 times to get dressed. You now have until we get to daycare to get dressed or you will be going into daycare half naked!"

Daycare is less than 1 mile from our house just outside our neighborhood.

Magically when I opened the door to the backseat, I had a fully dressed 6 year old with a tear streaked face, but smiling from ear to ear.

Careful, when you play with the big dogs, son, you might get bit......

Happy 8th Anniversary, my love....

There is no greater gift than waking up next to you, holding me tight, and whispering "Happy Anniversary" first thing this morning...

I love you, Tatala....
Princess P

Awwwwww-kward......

Uhm... hi.....

How are ya?

Yeah, Hi, Kettle.... this is Pot..... I was just calling to tell you I am so very black. I cannot believe how very black I am.....

Facebook, so yeah...problem. Suddenly my life has slammed into one huge dash down memory lane creating a huge jumble of dreams were suddenly I am at cocktail parties sharing drinks with friends who were never friends in the first place. I find myself in dreams at a wedding from someone in elementary school, running into someone from college, being waved to from across the room from someone in high school, while simultaneously trying to keep my 3 yr old from head butting my thigh while explaining to someone else that no I am NOT babysitting, this is MY CHILD.

The rush of names, pics, stories and clever "what are you doing now?" posts are overwhelming. What is even more strange is that this is not just limited to Facebook:
- With the passing of my grandfather, I spent a lot of time going through old pics putting together a family memorial for the funeral events - that included visits with long lost relatives you only see when people get married or die.
- Recently, I have run into friends who have moved back to town, which then causes the "did you know about so and so and so and so and so and so".
- My friend Allison asked me to help her on a career day to discuss theatre to 4th graders, complete with production pics and such so now I find myself going through old pics, with old faces, old stories, then you slam them together with Facebook, and I am in a very strange webisode of "This is Your Life".

And the one thing I have to say about it all is well.... I am blessed... really really blessed. Even through all the crap and sucky times, the foundation is really great. I may not have it "all", but I have a lot and I love each and every part of it. I have this incredibly unique opportunity right now to stop and look at myself as if I am in a panoramic 360 degree movie. I am not looking in a mirror, I am not painting a picture, I am getting a whopping 360 degrees of information - past present and future - all delivered like a present with a tight pretty bow right before the holidays. It is a wonderful world of "who cares?" and "everybody cares!" Who cares that the best I could do was Ramen noodles for dinner after a long day at work? Who cares? Nobody - Who cares to know about my two greatest creations in the making, Max & Ben? Everyone cares!

I am very present right now.