Tired

Very tired today... way tired actually. You know the kind of tired where you are not even sure what you did in the last 5 minutes.. that tired.

I am sure it had something to do with staying up switching channels between Fox & FX (9...72...9...72...9). I am not into sports that much, but I definitely get caught up in the excitement. I love being that excited. Seeing those people in the stands all banded togther for one cause... to cheer the guys on the field! Everyone breathes in unison, holds their breath in unison and screams in unison. I love that feeling too... that amazing burst of energy when a huge group of people explode all at the same time. You feel the tension right before and then "WHAMMO"! Oh what a great feeling!

Feeling the energy between people is just so amazing to me. I mean truly feeling it. I guess that is also one of the things I love and miss about theatre, both in production and performing. I can remember some of the greatest moments surounded by total strangers hanging on my every word. I remember one monologue when I could feel the audience's collective eyes on me, so quiet that I could hear a pin drop in the back row. I can also remember times when I would sit in the audience watching a performance that I had seen a hundred times in rehearsal suddenly explode with meaning when it was married with the energy of the audience. I used to just sit there and cry for my friends who were there... in the zone so to speak... and watch the audience totally entranced by their performances.. talk about seeing the beauty of your loved ones through other people's eyes.

I guess that is one of the things that has kept me so attached to certain people. It is realy hard to walk away from a friendship when you have seen them so intimately. Sometimes it is hard to see things face to face, but when you see it in other people's faces, you see them through this crazy 3 way mirror. And you can't explain it to the person,and it sounds like you are blowing smoke, but you truly saw a piece of their soul as they were bearing to these strangers. The strangers have no idea how intense it was, but you do... and you love them for it!

Oh goodness.. I have no idea where that came from... now I am even more tired than before. But a good tired...