I am pissed.....

I am pissed and embarrassed at my country. I cannot believe that I am moved to angry tears over something so insanely ridiculous as the following topic.

Today I received the following letter in Max's folder:



I cannot believe that we have come to a point in our society that we cannot agree to disagree. I cannot believe that we have come to a point in our society that we do not respect the office of the President of the United States of America regardless of our political affiliations. I cannot believe that we have come to a point in our society that we are CONSTANTLY COVERING EVERYONE'S ASSES with ridiculous letters and policies and "Plan B's" to accommodate closed minded bullying horse shit!! That's right... I said horse shit... because that is what this is.....

Tell me - PLEASE - how is this any different than any other President, First Lady, or any political official that has ever gone into a school, read a book to a group of kids and said "STAY IN SCHOOL!! Get a good education! Make a difference!" I'll tell you what's different....THIS president is utilizing modern technology to not just reach a class of 30 kids- but rather to reach 30 million kids!!!

There used to be a time that when the President spoke - everyone and everything stopped. You may have debated or disagreed with everything he said, but he spoke FIRST and we listened. I cannot believe that people would actually use their children as political pawns vowing to take their children out of school if they are "forced" to listen to the President speak - telling them to make the most of themselves. Since when did we decide that the best way to deal with differences is to stuff cotton in our ears, tape our eyes shut, and refuse to listen to all sides of everything before we make an opinion for ourselves.

Sad.... sad.... sad.....

Enough, people...... ENOUGH!!!!!!

For those of you who don't understand what I am ranting about here - this is a good article telling BOTH sides of the opinion - I read the whole thing - ya know - even the parts I disagreed with - because I am an open minded respectful adult.....

Really, people.... REALLY?!?!?!?!

Oh no.... no no no...
Brian Williams, tell me it ain't true.
Last night, I am taking a moment for myself prior to cooking dinner (okay so I heated up hot dogs - it still counts as cooking)... anyhoo... I am flipping through channels and settle on Brian Williams' adorable anchor face on NBC - looking crisp is in his finely pressed button down shirt and khakis - surrounded by soot from the LA fires - when he starts the lead in for the next segment - light bulbs. More specifically the debate on the incandescent vs fluorescent debate.



Well guess what people - Europe is hoarding the incandescent ones - buying hundreds at a time. Wanna know why? Because as of 2012 - they will be o-u-t-l-a-w-e-d!!! That's right - stores will no longer be able to sell those warm soft glowing lights that we have been using since light bulbs and electricity were invented!!! And ya wanna know something else?? In 2012 America will begin the phase out - transitioning all stores, manufacturers, etc to fluorescent only bulbs.



NOOOOOOOOO!!! I am sorry - I know we have bigger fish to fry in this country and I am well aware of the fact that these new bulbs are more efficient and the use of one bulb could save enough energy to power the sun, blah blah blah..... but .... well.....THEY ARE UGLY!!! They create an awful cold wet blanket of light on everything. They make the most lovely and inviting home look like an office with cubicles. If you have a wondrous vibrant full of life color painted on your walls, these bulbs turn it into that grey-filmed horribleness that looks remarkably like your walls need dusting or your house was once used as a prison institution.



I am not okay with this - I am just not okay with this. I understand the value of going green - just not going grey. Make a better product before you demand that it be the only thing I am allowed to use.

I know a lot of you are thinking, "Really, Becks? Aren't you being a little ridiculous about this?" Well - yes and no - this is kind of like the old Jiff vs. Peter Pan debate = for some people peanut butter is peanut butter - but for those who love the PB and all the magical creations you can make with it - the debate can turn into bloody warfare similar to the scenes in "Gangs of New York" (and for the record Jiff is best). I enjoy making my home pretty - I am enjoy making most things in my life pretty. I use a lot of time and energy getting things to be just right. My husband - following the green economically & environmentally efficient band wagon - bought these bulbs, replaced a few in our house and instantly everything looked different - and not for the better. I have a background in theatre and I value the use of up light, down light, color, tone, hue - and what the slightest tweek of one of these features can do to make something pop. The only think popping with these new bulbs is the glass as it is crushed under my feet.

So I will - for the first time in my life - become one of those people. The Elaine's of the world who buy up all the discontinued sponges and hoard them for "special occasions". The crazy people who stock pile things in their basement in the event dooms day really is around the corner.

Please don't take way my pretty warm light - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!

My First Walk Out

I have to say that I tend to be very passionate about things - passionate and some what polarizing. But I can also admit that in MOST cases I am able to at least see the side of the my opposing view. I am the queen of, "We are going to have to agree to disagree!" I love a good debate and have often found myself taking the opposite side of a debate just for the fun the debate - I like the challenge - I like to play Devil's advocate - I like to mix it up.

Well.... let's just say the show that I am in tends to lend itself to the opportunity of political unrest in the audience. There are moments in the show that clearly reflect the liberal views of it's author, but even as it clearly states how the ticket looked after she left the voting booth - it also pokes fun at the fact of how easy it was to drink the koolaid and get caught up in the religious zealous-ness the most recent political atmosphere. Everything is terribly light hearted - quite hilarious (as stated in reviews from the audience, not just my opinion)- and anyone who has ever seen Sesame Street or Saturday Night Live can see, WE ARE MAKING FUN OF OURSELVES!!!

... apparently not to the lovely couple sitting center stage (approx row 4 or 5) at last night's performance.....

We have had solemn faces with slight snickers before, we have even had crossed-armed scowlers sitting in the front row .... but last night was our first walk out. Like - they got up in the middle of the song, shaking their heads in disgust, stomping out of a packed uproarious laughter filled sold out house.

I have to tell you, I was shocked. At first I thought - that woman must REALLY have to pee to get up in the middle of THIS song, but then I realized she was being followed by a gentleman and she was clutching her purse in disgust. My frisky side wanted to meet them at the bottom of the stairs and pull them on stage to embarrass them, but my more conservative side didn't want to ruin the number for the rest of the audience.

Tragic .... truly tragic. I know that people are really upset right now, and we are just this side of a civil war over the health care reform issue - but come on. This isn't CNN - this isn't a Capitol Hill debate - it's theatre - and really funny theatre. If you can't put the bat down for an hour and half, you need to seek a Serotonin equalizer from your health care provider.....oh yeah - "Serotonin" is in our show, too.... have you come to see it yet?!?!

What to do ... what to do....

So I warned you people there was a great chance of radio silence here!! Between the regular craziness of work and family, and the new added fun of deciding to break my 10 year strike from the stage, life has been very full... VERY....
My days were going something like this... wake up at 6:00, get the kids to school, get myself to work.... work, work, work... drive 45 minutes home, pick up the kids, call my husband on the cell phone as I was heading around the corner so that he could catch the kids while I slowed down and threw them out of the car, he would throw me tennis shoes and a water bottle, and off I went to rehearsal.
As busy as life was, it was fabulous. It is amazing how even though your life looks outwardly chaotic, the old proverb seems to come true - the more you give, the more you get.
Well... life has settled. We opened the show a couple of weeks ago - to great reviews. I am currently on a 2 week mommy staycation. I have hopes to tackle an ever growing to do list, while at the same time getting some good quality mommy/munchkins time in.

All right people..... three years of AFLAC claims aren't going to get filed on their own.... and Ben is screaming something about Max making the TV in the TV room go black.... oh please do not be broken.... PLEASE DO NOT BE BROKEN!!

What is that smell?

So I get into the car yesterday and I am overwhelmed by ... well.... gag. Terrible, stinky, smelly, something has died in here awfulness. Now - I have suffered from trash car syndrome since - well, since I have had a car - and this terrible trait of leaving things in the car has passed from me on to my children. MOST of the time - we are taken over by paper - school papers, notices, receipts, crap from my purse that I really don't need, but shoved it into my purse until I am about to get out of the car and go somewhere, so I grab a big handful of the crap back out of the purse, lay it on my seat and say I will throw it away later. SOMETIMES there is the unfortunate incident of the left over fruit snacks that have fallen to the floor and have now become one with the carpet fibers, or when the kids were younger - the dreaded sippy cup of milk or formula that slipped out of toddler hands and rolled under the seat when I slammed on my breaks when that S-O-B cut me off!!!

Yesterday - the car was already heating up like an oven even though it was only 8 AM. The odiforousness of the mystery product was so overwhelming that I couldn't even focus on my morning sing-a-long with the radio. I pulled over for some gas, got the pump going, then took a deep gulp of air as I ducked my head into the back seat hunting for the menace. Papers, water bottles, hot wheels, broken sun glasses... trash, trash, trash, trash..... and there is was......

On Monday - two days prior - Max had a science experiment at Summer camp - they made "ice cream". They were supposed to put the creamy liquid in the freezer and enjoy it's cold vanilla goodness - not allow it to bake for 2 days in the 100+ degree oven that I call my car to become some cottage cheese gelatinous stinky goo.

It is here that I wish to thank the good people in quality control at Ziploc and the amazing teachers at his camp for using name brand baggies for this "experiment". Thankfully - his project was well sealed in his baggy and NONE got on my car seats. I finger tip to finger tip picked up the nastiness and threw it away at the gas station.

I drove to work with the windows down to air the car out.

Finding my inner hormones....

No this is not a TMI post I promise.....

So the show I am doing is an all original show. It has been produced for many years here in Houston and has a huge following. It is basically an autobiographical theatrical extravaganza around this really incredible woman named Tamarie Cooper. Every year is loosely based on some aspect of her life - this year - we focus on the impending birth of her first child and what effect this has on her brain.... yes ladies and gents ... through the power of theatre and meditation you are transported into her brain to meet and be entertained by all sorts of fun characters, endorphins, and memories.



Enter one of my characters (as we play many) - I am one of the hormones.
Imagine a combination of Greek Goddess, Medusa from Clash of the Titans and the Witches from Macbeth.



Now - as much as I love playing bipolar manic crazy people - this is the first time I get to play a SINGING bipolar manic crazy chemical!!! At Saturday's rehearsal - the musical director tells us that he is going to forward us the music and sheet music with a forewarning that we should probably start working on it that night as it is possibly going to kick our ass. Great. I get home that night and wait - pressing send/receive, send/receive over and over until my precious little package arrives in my email box. I launch the MP3 to hear an eerie haunting song that is usually played with the opening credits of an old scary movie - that sweeping shot across the cemetery in a low fog at night.
Then the melody line starts. REALLY?!?!?! Very tricky melodies and timing - not to mention a range that would kick a real singer's butt. At one point - my children came out of the game room and looked down over the stair railing to make sure it was just mommy rehearsing and not the dog dying a horrible death.

So the next day, I start our part of the rehearsal saying - okay - we have three options - we A.) change the key

B.) go with an Ursula from Little Mermaid type performance



or




C.) A Madeline Kahn "Oh sweet mystery of life at last I've found you" falsetto type performance from Young Frankenstein -

so - what are we gonna do?!?!?!

We ended up with a combination of the three - we brought it down a few steps, and decided that on the upper tiers - like, ya know when you read the sheet music, and the composer has to put TWO EXTRA LINES above the music bars because he wants you sing similar to whale/dolphin mating calls.... those parts will be done silly falsetto soprano.

I am giddy excited at the craziness.....it was either do this show or go into therapy, I think I chose wisely!!

A touch of OCD

I am currently suffering from a touch of OCD combined with a dollop of I just don't give a F%#@!
I need to vent.. let's vent, shall we?
So I am sitting here at my desk trying to work on something that I have had nothing to do with for the eight years I have been here. I have happily not taken any responsibility regarding this task and I have never even cared two s%$#ts about how it is done, why it is done, or how often it should be done. I have enough to do around here to worry about this and every time the topic has come up or the job needs to be re-assigned due to people leaving, I have managed to side skirt and two step my way in any direction but the one that leads to this task.
But guess what .... some big whig muckity muck wants to come "review" these charts and NOW guess who gets to review it FIRST!!! So I am sitting here - almost in tears due to frustration at how completely ridiculous and mishandled this STUPID LITTLE TASK has been. I cannot believe that something so DAMN easy has been screwed up SO ROYALLY!!! So here I sit - trying to decide whether or not to go with this poor system that is already set up and just make it "pretty" or chuck the whole thing and do it the right way.

....grrrrrrr........

Dear People,

There comes a time in one's life when you find yourself having an out of body experience - ya know the one where you wake up and realize that you are covered in blood holding the cylindrical tubey thingy from the drive up bank teller and you tell the officer, really sir - I have no idea what just happened - but after the third time the car in front of me sent the tube back, everything went black and now I am standing here.

Dear people -

I say this now as a form of therapy - or perhaps an intervention - so as to save someonelse's life and prevent me from spending the rest of my life behind bars.

• IF you choose to go to the drive up bank - BE PREPARED!!!!!! That lovely covered breezeway is not a parking zone for you rest in the shade while you lazily thumb through your paperwork and arrange and re-calculate your numbers.


• It is also NOT a place for you to go and ask questions, and send love notes back and forth and back and forth and back and forth..... if you don't have the required paper to sign your life away to the bank THEN GO INSIDE!!!!!!


• The Commercial lane is for COMMERCIAL BUSINESS!!! I know you lovely people in the 20 year old rusty clankers with the passenger with bare feet hanging out the window are not there turning in last night's cash receipts!! You are not so smart that you get to go into that lane before the line of 4 cars waiting the lane right next to it!!!


• The big black tubey thingy IS NOT A GIFT!! I cannot tell you how many times I have driven up behind someone who has driven off with the tube in the car. If you are that important or absent minded that you cannot remember to return the tube for the next customer - PARK YOUR CAR!!! You probably shouldn't be driving anyway.


• Though highly trained and responsible - BANK TELLERS ARE NOT YOUR PERSONAL ASSISTANTS OR ACCOUNTANTS - have your own pens, know your own account numbers, fill out your own papers, and do your own math - correctly.

Please, please, please.... I am begging you... drive up - send your s%$# - and leave.

Warmest Regards,

The apoplectic customer behind you who has no problem running you over with her car.

5...6...7....OUCH!!

Oh my dear sweet people - I have only been in 2 days of rehearsal and it has become horribly clear - momma just ain't what she used to wuz..... The show is great, the people wonderful - and I am uber excited to be apart of it - but it certainly has been many many years since I asked this body to run, kick, jazz hand and box step - over and over again. During the rehearsal itself - I was great - sweating and breathing hard, but okay. After the 1/2 hr drive home and trying to get out of my car - OUCH!!

I am stating this now: I am forever grateful for this opportunity falling in my lap. I needed it more than I could possible have ever known. And I am forever grateful to Kyle for recommending me and for Tamarie for giving me a chance - it truly is a honor. I take the time to state this now as I fear that, between work, family, and this much needed outside distraction, it could lead to great radio silence here - I hope not - but I might fall asleep on the keyboard trying to type in an update..... that or my jazz hands might cramp up and not allow me to type.

Fun side story - I was in the pool swimming with the kids and trying to explain to them why mommy was going to be gone a lot over the next few weeks. I said I was going to be working and then I thought - no - go ahead and tell them they will understand the concept of the play. So I say, mommy got a job as an actress again and she is going to be in a play - "Is it on TV?" - no - "Are we going to get to see it?" - uhm - we will have to see how that works out - "Does this mean we all get to move into a mansion?!?!?!"..... oh how I wish.......

Mark the Date

June 18, 2009

6:31 PM

Ring Ring....

Ring Ring.....

"Hi, You've reached, Micheal, Becky, Max & Ben - we can't come to the phone right now so please leave a message and we will get back to you!"

BEEP!!!

Maaaaaax......
Hiiiiiiiiiiii.......
This is Aliyah.....
See you at schooooool tomorrow.........

Max got his first call from a girl - he is six - heading into 1st grade.

Me: Uhm, Max?!? - Aliyah left you a message...
Max: Yeah, (Joe Cool) I gave her my number......

... and so it begins.......

LOST - the 1st Grade Summer School Episode

I have mentioned previously that Max was going to be going to summer school this year. The Dual Language Program that he is part of arranged for the English speaking students of the program to get funding to attend the Bilingual Summer School classes so that they can maintain Spanish fluency through the Summer and not lose any ground they have made during the school year. Sounds great - right? Well - Summer school is only from 8 until 12:00 - meaning - we needed something for the afternoon - enter - extended day program. Now - you would think that the extended day program would be at the same school - au contraire - THAT is at another school. ENTER transportation department - transportation department has agreed to take summer school kids from School "A" to School "B".

So - now we are weeks of emails into making sure that my precious red-headed Spanish speaking Russian prince makes it from his Dual Immersion Language program through the Bilingual Summer School onto a transportation bus arriving safely at an extended day program - ALL THE SAME DISTRICT - ALL WITHIN BLOCKS OF EACH OTHER!

Well.... Max gets home Monday and he (adorably over-exaggerated, I might add) throws his hands up in the air and and begins to tell me (in a breathy, staccato, elevated volume) how the bus driver did not take him to School "B" - "he just left me there!!! And we waited and waited and waited and there was no lunch and nothing!!!" (BIG dramatic sweep of the arms in the air!) Now - part of me wants to start laughing at his dramatic (well rehearsed) monologue and the other part of me wants to call the cops and file a report for child abandonment..... but alas - I get further information that the bus driver did NOT just leave them - rather, they sat on the bus "waiting for parents to show up". I reminded Max about the note behind his name badge (because I knew this was going to happen) and asked if he showed the bus driver and he said no - but "FINALLY" when the driver took him and 2 other students back to the main summer school campus, a teacher looked and saw it. So an hour and half later he was delivered to the right place and luckily extended day remembered to hold lunch for him.

I have to say, I was pissed. Especially since there were countless emails and phone calls between myself and the principal, dual language program coordinator, transportation, and the extended day program. Mike went into the school yesterday and gave them h-e-double hockey sticks asking if they were going to be able to coordinate this today and not lose his son. The principal came out and apologized over herself - though I know this was not her fault - it was transportation - nobody bothered to tell the bus driver of his new stop.

Moral of the story - other than being terribly excited to tell me all about his troubling day - Max was not scared or worried about the situation at all... he was pissed and irritated and hungry - but not scared... THAT'S MY BOY!!!

Really?!?!?

And for dessert .... 4 fireman and 2 paramedics served hot and fast with flashing lights.....


So last night we sit down to dinner, nothing exciting.... fresh frozen veggies over pasta - NO SESAME seeds ( which I have been tested for and I am allergic to). Mike leaves - takes the kids to get haircuts. I start to feel an allergic reaction coming on - the itchy tingly reaction and I think - great - here we go again - WTF?!?! So I grab the children's benadryl - because it is in liquid form - take 50 mg worth and start to try and distract myself from scratching my skin off. I head to the packages of everything that was made for dinner to read the ingredients and make sure there were NO SESAME seeds in any of it. I then decide to walk around the house and just do stuff - anything - just not scratch or panic. I am standing at my grandfather clock winding it up, when all of a sudden I get this incredibly hot flushed feeling and everything swells - a reaction I have never had before. I turn around and look in the mirror and see that I am red as a lobster and my eyes are swollen. I start for the phone to call Mike, but then think - if I pass out, Mike will not know what is going on - you need to shoot yourself with the epipen first. So I head to the bathroom - grab the pen - and by this time my mother has called me (for no reason whatsoever, just a coincidence). I put her on speaker and I am trying to read the pen, but my vision has gone blurry and my throat is closing - all I can hear is my mother repeating - shoot yourself and call 911 - shoot yourself and call 911- over and over and over.

I finally shoot myself- I don't feel a thing, so I am certain I did not do it right, I call 911. The next thing I know - 6 fireman/paramedics are in my home hooking me up to all sorts of things, giving me oxygen, yadda yadda. I am shaking like a leaf and I ask them what is wrong and one of them says,"Did you just shoot yourself with this?" and I said yes and he that is it. Mike comes rushing home to a fire truck and ambulance in the front yard. By this time the pen has started to work and the symptoms have started to plateau - so I refuse the ambulance and go to the ER with Mike.

The epipen - not feeling a thing - part .... well - once everything calmed down - I saw that needle is about an inch long and my leg/thigh was throbbing and bruised because I punched so hard - so clearly what ever was happening in my body had taken over and I did not feel the pain of the shot at all at the time. Max did his part to "heal" me - he noticed me looking at the boo boo on my leg in the mirror and said - "I know, I know - I am gonna get you a bandaid - is a Transformer alright?" further calming the situation and taking the script from his mommy he starts cooing - "Ooooooh, mommy - look - it's a bumble-bee one - you like bumble-bee transformer, don't you?!!"

So - I have made my 3rd trip to the ER - for food allergies - each time getting a little more exciting than the last. So for those of you that are around me - please note - if while we are eating I start swelling up like Martin Short in that horrible B movie where he gets stung by a bee - please go into my purse and stab me with my epipen - I give you my permission......apparently, I won't feel it.

Where oh where is Becky?

SOMEBODY BRING THE CRASH CART IN HERE!!!

Charging the paddles!!

CLEAR!!!

...nothing....

Charging again!!!

CLEAR!!!!

....thump thump..... thump thump.....

I think we have found her.......

Oh, people, people, people!! Where the hell have I been?? I guess the good news is that I have been no where near this brain sucking Internet - not even facebook. I am barely getting online to check emails every few days and due to that my in box is overflowed with Freecycle wants and offers. I did not realize it had been almost a MONTH since my last post until two little birdies left messages for me reminding me that people might still care about what is going on in my life.

Well - May has been full - parties, end of school year events, spending time cleaning the inside of my house so that I don't have to spend as much time taking care of it and I can spend more time outside in the pool where the children live now. It amazes me how the moment the pool "opens" in our back yard, my children think of nothing else - their eyes blink open, "Mommy, can we go swimming after school?" which leads to an after school trail of of shirts, shorts, underwear and socks from the door we enter to the back yard ..... I barely get food in them in between shower time and bed. This of course is a good thing.

Summer will not slow this family down at all. Max will continue school all summer - it is a program that has been set up to continue the Spanish lessons so he will not "lose" what he has learned all year. Max was excited at first because this meant that he got to go to school on no school days, but the closer is has gotten to the end of the year he keeps asking if it is really school - like does he have "learn stuff every day" school - and I try to skirt the topic by saying that it is more like camp - they will be doing fun stuff every day - boy do I hope they don't make a liar out of me!!

I will be dusting off the comic timing and looking for my dance shoes as I have agreed to be in a show that will rehearse the better part of July and run the better part of August. I was terribly excited when asked to do it and then the terror set in when I realized that I have not been on stage for ... oh ... over 10 years. It sounds terribly painful to say it, but life just takes over and the next thing you know it has passed you by. Anyhoo - I am looking forward to the opportunity - and I am really looking forward to working with the people involved. It will make my life very full all summer, but it will be great.

SO - once again - accept my apologies, dear Internet - I have turned a blind eye to you once again for far too long - I still owe you some long awaited stories and have acquired some new ones since then - and as this aged body attempts to remember some old tricks this summer, I am sure I will have many new stories, as well.

Happy Summer, my Peeps!!

This little piggy couldn't go to school, this little piggy couldn't go to market....

....and now the government is going to make all us little piggies go wee wee wee all the way to our semi quarantined homes! REALLY?!?!?! Okay, I am veto-ing the vote - I promise true love will prevail and you will hear that story soon, but I have to talk about more pressing issues - like wide spread media panic!!

I gotta talk about the Swine Flu - or the H1N1 strain for those of you on the Pork Appreciation Board of America who have lobbied for a name change in fear that God loving Republicans (like the first President Bush) will stop eating Pork rhines in fear that they might catch this pandemic flu from those crunchy salty treats. I have to admit - this is creating a field day for my schizo bi-polar hypochondriac inner child, but now this issue is invading into my much calmer, rational, logical mind.

I see the writing on the wall - schools are slowly starting to close. Official news conferences are being held with muckity mucks stating that school officials will not be penalized financially or otherwise for closing, the Vice President is saying that health officials are advising them that the best way to handle this is to restrict mass groupings such as the classroom setting, I am getting letters from my child's school stating they are keeping in close contact with local and federal officials for the best way to handle this with the safety of our children in mind. I get it... the kids are gonna get summer a little early and we working parents are gonna be more than screwed - because no school also means no childcare.

I am not trying to sound heartless here - I am trying to put this into perspective. This is a flu strain. This is a viral infection that leads to symptoms that are irritating and uncomfortable and TREATABLE. The unfortunate few in our society that would be compromised by this flu would also be compromised by any other strain: the elderly, small children, and the sick. Perhaps we should keep scary words like "pandemic" to situations that could actually wipe out the majority of the human population - not something that could up the sales of Tylenol, ibuprofen and thera-flu.

The media is going to kill us. They are going to drive us crazy and send us jumping off bridges and crashing our cars into each other. Here in Houston alone the media and "experts" had a million people stranded in their cars fleeing from a hurricane that never came, yet this week they had no clue that a storm would come over night and we woke up to 10"+ of rain and could not drive in our streets and thousands of peoples homes had their furniture floating in a foot of water. My point is, no amount of pretty graphics or scrolling snappy phrases can alter the facts. They have NO CLUE about MOST EVERYTHING. And rather than just say we don't know much, we are going to come up with some really great theme songs and incredibly bright colored interactive TV screens to make it look like we know more. Look... I can draw a squiggly line here.....to emphasize my point about nothing even more.

So here is what is probably is going to happen - more people than normal are going to get sick later in the season that when people usually get sick. It's going to suck - but then it will pass. Yes - people will die - it is sad - it is terrible, but it is a fact - not a pandemic, not a plague. If you get sick - get treatment. If you get sick - stay home - take care of yourself - get better.

And by the way ... I reserve the right to allow my hypochondriac inner child to go running through the streets squirting all of you with Germ-X and screaming "The End is Near!! The End is NEAR!!!"

Will you update already?!?!

So I get the sweetest most "loving" question from my sister today..."Will you update your blog already? What?! Do you think this thing is only for you or something?!?!"

Now admittedly, I have to say - I really do think no one comes here - even though the growing stat clicker thingy at the bottom of the web page tells me other wise ( Come on 40,000 hits!!!) and I often get terribly excited when people tell me things about my life that they read about on the blog.

So... thank you... thank you for caring.... thank you for coming... thank you for reading. I suppose if it was terribly boring or controversial or irritating you could just wander away to some other random blog, but you don't.... you come here... and for that I thank you.

So let's tease you about topics to talk about in the upcoming days/weeks/oh who knows, maybe months ...

Swine Flu - Yep - the Jews were right - The pigs really are going to kill us.

My Backyard Swamp Opus - or the story behind why home warranty people should be thrown off very tall bridges.

How Reality TV is going to ruin my REAL life - dealing with my obsession to people watch and how it could possibly lead to me getting arrested for confronting/question really stupid people.

Releasing My First Love - The story behind how my first fiancee FINALLY moved past our long engagement and is now marrying the most incredibly wonderful woman in the world...

I'll even let you vote... what do you want me to talk about? Do you have a topic you think I need to butcher?!?! BRING - IT - ON !!!

Come on you lurkers - you know who you are.... comment.... I DARE YOU!!!

A glance through the looking glass....

I have been silent and vague again and I am sorry, bloggy world. It is another one of those times that life has brought me to a buffet of challenges and as usual my plates, bowels and glasses all runneth over. Most things seem to be swimming aimlessly in swirls in my brain still - not even enough clarity to write out here - but there is one thing that would like to share:



Recently life has dealt a deck of cards that is well... sucky, for lack of a better poker term. Recently I have been given the opportunity to be a silent witness, secondary support in a family situation that is best dealt with extremely sensitive hands. During the process, I find myself almost back in my little girl shoes - "Be seen not heard. In this position - which for any of you who know me, knows it is incredibly difficult for me to keep my opinions to myself - I am given a rare opportunity to look through the looking glass at literally generations of patterns, habits, character traits - some good, some not so good, some down right amazing. I see myself in my mom, I see myself in my grandmother.

Because my grandparents lived several hours away - I had no day to day relationship with them - just short visits mostly around holiday weekends. Now that my grandmother lives in town, I am blessed with the opportunity to see the day to day grandma - not the polished in her holiday best grandma. I see habits and traits that we share even though 60 years separate us. I see speech patterns and story telling techniques - ways to tell the good parts and skim over the bad or not so attractive moments. I am amazed to see the "inner circle" communications - you know, the family talk and quiet whispers amongst the inner sanctum of your immediate family - followed by the instant "turning on" of the sparkle and shine persona when outside people enter the situation. I also see the wondrous trait of not being able to hide our instant like (or dislike for that matter) when it comes to meeting new people. I have always been known for my hugs - great full loving hugs whether we have known each other for years or minutes - the other day I almost cried when I realized this was not an original personality trait - nope - it came from my grandmother who passed it on to my mother who in turn passed it on to me. We had been at a physicians office for my grandmother - someone she had never met - and after an hour of visiting, a simple nice to meet you and handshake would just not do - nope - my 90 yr old grandmother pushed her walker aside to embrace the physician with as much love as if she was a member of our family.
It is so hard - so hard to witness forced change. It is so hard to stand in front of the imaginary judge and jury with two impossible options and choose - knowing neither plan "A" nor plan "B" is perfect or right, but rather the lesser of two evils.
It has been a few weeks since decisions have been made and things seem to be settling, but change and transitions are always hard. I choose to take the number one lesson I have learned from my grandmother and keep trucking along - keep your head up and keep moving forward.... oh, and always have your lipstick and rouge on when you do it...

Happy Birthday to me....

I've never felt so dumb...

...what the f*&^%% have I been doing with my time.....

The raining, the pouring, and oh.. the snoring...

So, uhm.. did I say something about blogging everyday for Lent - yeah... right.... next year....

Let's see.... I have had a migraine for about 10 days - what sucks about my migraines is that I have what I call functioning migraines - meaning, the throb is there constantly and I can function through my day - it just absolutely exhausts me and by the end of the day, the throb has become so mind blowing that I feel like someone has taken a shot gun to the back of my head. I went to the neurologist last week to talk about the fact that we have been playing with meds for almost 2 years and it seems that we are on a upward swing when it comes to frequency and duration again, so now we are back to tweaking and changes and ... oh... we will see... I just want them to go away.

Last Friday night I plan to try one of the new knock you on your ass medicines before bed in hopes that it will take the headache away by the next day. I tell my husband - let's go get something to eat, then I will take my medicine and call it a night. We decide on Chinese - now, recently I found out that I am allergic to sesame seeds, so I take great caution to make sure where I go has no sesame seeds or sesame seed oil. I have had Chinese since the new diagnosis with no problems. Fast forward to Friday... I walk in the door - do you cook with sesame seed oil? No, Ma'm - just vegetable oil - sesame seed oil is too expensive. Great. We are eating. CRAP... tingle tingle tingle - Excuse me? Are you sure you don't cook with sesame seed oil? No, we just season with it!...Michael - eat faster - scratch scratch scratch .... GREAT!! Now I have a migraine AND a severe allergic reaction!! Get home... I have not gotten to the full break out and I am totally chicken shitting out on the epi-pen - i am in the bathroom and I hit myself with the tester several times to psych myself out, and I notice the liquid benedryl for the kids. Call my mom - can't I just TRY the benedryl first and if it doesn't work THEN I will shoot myself?!?! She says yes - she is a nurse, so between that and the fact that she is my mommy, her word is just this side of the Bible. I double the dose and lay down... it was 6:30. I woke up 14 hours later. I do not remember anything. Apparently I stirred slightly, but Mike stayed beside me, checked my breathing, and kept my mother informed.

My phone died. I just got it and it was already out the door. The flip hinge decided it didn't want to work and I decided I wasn't going to be pro-active and deal with it in a timely manner, so when we finally did get around to it, it turned into a looks like drop damage, even though the break is on the inside of the phone and there is not a damn scratch anywhere on the outside of the phone. I just don't have the energy to be screaming at another person - currently screaming on a daily basis to the home warranty people about the pool (another post) - so I just dealt with my irritating phone. Well.... sometime in my comatose state early Saturday morning some little munchkin had something to do with the phone's final demise... the details have something to do with the counter top, shifting of things and the floor - all I know is my phone is now in 2 pieces. I tried getting a new one - no - why would we be so bold as to get the insurance? So I am using my sister's old one now - the face is broken, but it works - and it was free and I am too cheap to go get a new phone. Moral of the story - if you called or texted me recently - I probably did not get it, please hang up, redial, and try again.

I suddenly feel remarkably like Eeyore with all the complaining I have just done in this post.....Oh Bother.....

Mickey The Snake Pistone

Yeah, babies... thas right....up there is my new Facebook mafia name... scary ain't it?!?!

I have to admit... I have always had a secret fantasy to be in the movie mafia.. not the real mafia - I am way too chicken s@#% and up standing for that - but the movie mafia - hell yeah.... But I want to be IN the mafia - not one of the pretty unassuming trophy side line wives, who has "no idea" where the money comes from or where her husband is... I want to be the Bonnie to his Clyde. I want in on the action and I want to call out the hits....I wanna feel sorry for all the poor punks who dare cross the line I draw on the concrete. I appreciate the value of a catchy one liner and respect the need for a good &%&$# expletive for emphasis!

I could watch Godfather I and II over and over and over again. And I did... many many times with my father.. and it never gets old. It sucks, now that I have small children, that I do not have the freedom to stop my day to pay respect and homage to a great man-scream brought on by a bed full of horse blood. I cannot say that I have the same affection for III - it loses me - but I'll stick around and suffer through for the sake of Andy Garcia....

When I lived in New York - everyone was in the mafia - every dark Italian looking man was in the mafia. I loved to eat in Little Italy and a stroll down the street could easily turn into a family against family shoot out in my fantasy mind. I took my parents down there one time to eat at this fabulous hole in the wall next to the greatest bakery ever and we sat in a booth that had a picture of Al Pacino sitting where my dad was sitting - not a planned moment, just a fun coincidence. We had many shots of ... something - too much liquor to remember - mostly because the waiter just kept bringing them and since he spoke very little English, we thought it rude to refuse!

My other great "mafia" New York story happened one day after work. I was in Queens - waiting for my bus to my apartment. I was standing in front of 2 different store fronts when all of a sudden, LOTS of men in dark suits come streaming out of the doors to the separate stores and headed to their late model Cadillacs parked along the street. Funny thing is... even though they were coming out of separate doors - they were talking to each other and continuing conversations - like they had just come from a common area in the back of these different stores. They nodded their goodbyes an VA-MOOSE.. they were gone - I was on the phone with my mom and I said "HOLY S#%@!! I think I just saw the mafia!!"

But alas... this southern white chick is as far away from an Italian Mafia life as a Chicken Fried Steak smothered in cream gravy is from Chicken Parmigiana smothered in Mama's homemade Italian sauce that has been slow simmering on the stove all day....

But a girl can dream.....

My Yellow Brick Road

I think if I had to pick one catch phrase to sum up my journey in this life it would be that one referring to the path to a really hot place which is paved with only the best plans in mind... you know the one?!?!
My life seems to be a never ending yellow brick road. It starts off great. The plans are made, the bricks are laid evenly & shined to perfection. Then somewhere along the path, the lines get a little wonky, the spaces between the bricks get further and further apart and then next thing you know, the road has broken apart and you are asleep in a field of poppies.
I am not sure if this has to do with the fact that I am still trying to tackle projects way bigger than my britches can handle or because I am responsible for more britches than my own with two little red headed pumpkins dragging on my coat tails. Let's take this weekend for instance. I began several projects - very important timely projects for my family. Did any of them get completed?!?!? NO!
So here I am, Monday morning, another beginning to another week on this hamster wheel and I am frustrated because I am already behind on my to do list. The same to do list that recycles itself over and over again.....
I know better than to do this to myself. This is my OCD - Observant Creative Dramatic side taking over again!! Life continues to go on even if my projects are not complete. No one ASKED me to start those projects - no one else would have even noticed if I had not started those projects in the first place - BUT I DO!!
Note to self - there is no such thing as multi-tasking - just self destructive, project smashing, OCD manifesting opportunites for failure.... so stop it....uh huh, yeah... I sure will... I soon as I finish this one thing.....

He has it all figured out....

So it's Friday of Spring Break.... to my boys it has been a rough week. Mommy has taken advantage of the fact that Max is in an extended day Spring Break program and has worked long hours. SO to them - they have been at "school" ALL DAY - not just until 3:00 like regular.

Well, this morning, Ben (4) comes wandering into the bed (where I have not managed to get out of yet) and we have the following conversation:

Mommy - is today a no school day?
No - today we go to school.
NOOOOO!!
Yes.
Mommy - I don't want to go to school today.
I know - but today is the last school day before we get 2 no school days.
NOOOOOO!!! Mommy - I just want to stay home today!!!
I know - mommy does to, but mommy has to work, so that means you have to go to school.
You don't have to work!
Oh yes I do... we have to have money!
We don't need money.
Okay - well, if we don't have money, then we can't live here in our nice house with our nice pool and all your toys.
That's okay.
Really?!? And how about food? How will we buy food?
Uhm - we will just eat bananas and coconuts... Oh I KNOW!! (getting real excited with his plan) And then, we will have a BIG circle that we can run and run and run (referring to the island, I am thinking)and then if it starts to rain or if it gets too hot, we just walk into the trees in the forest and they will protect us. Yeah...(satisfied the plan is doable) I really like bananas....
Well.... that sounds wonderful - really it does - but right now mommy can't even afford the plane ticket or the boat we would need to get there!
OH!!!!!! (frustrated... thinks a few moments and changes tactics).... Mommy my tummy hurts - I CAN'T go to school today!!
Nice try - get your butt up and get dressed - we gotta go!!

Happy Birthday, Pookie Bear!

This is Kyle.
This is my old college roommate and amazing friend for the past 16 years.
This is the friend with whom I packed everything I owned and moved to New York City to "pursue the dream".
This is my late night drinking and smoking on the patio partner.
This is my fellow acting partner who over the years has played my husband, brother, and other hilarious characters... characters that were my greatest challenge to stay focused and not break down laughing with the audience.
This is the Will to my Grace.
This is the hardest "tell it like it is" mirror I own.
This is the man I hope to be the Biggest Loser with.
This is his vlog.

This is his Birthday.... Happy Birthday, Baby!!

Oh the pain.... the A-GO-NEEEEE!!!

Uhm, so it happened. It has happened before, but it was all in fun... adorable comments made under giggled breath.....

But not this time... this time was for REAL!!

I was dropping Max off at his Spring Break hangout yesterday. We opted to have him go to the extended day program through his school, rather then have him go to daycare with his baby brother. They had big plans and field trips and it was way cooler (and cheaper, for that matter!).

Well - he was a baby fish in a big kids pond. He was uber excited to be there, races ahead of me, heads to a play table to start off a day of FUN FUN FUN!! I wander in after him, sign him in and go to say goodbye......I lean down to kiss his cheek and get the iciest, coldest, grittiest through the teeth response I have ever heard come out of my precious 6 yr old angel's mouth:

STOP IT!!!

I realize he is embarrassed by me. ME?!?!?! HIS MOTHER?!?!?!

STAB!!! DAGGER!!! SLICE!!! RIP!!!!

Oh no... it has come - the "I'm too old and you are embarrassing me in front of the big kids" routine. Today I tried to get my goodbye kiss in the car - but apparently the big kids have a sixth sense and would KNOW that a mommy was trying to kiss on a little kid in the parking lot, therefore, once again I was denied!!

...he will come back... they always do... they always come back for snuggle time eventually.....

RIGHT?!?!?!??!

Happy St. Patty's Day!!!

Okay... I loved this one too much not to share.....

What is the name of the Irishman in your backyard?

Patti O'Furniture!!

I found my lucky lepruchauns... here's wishing all of you a pot of gold at the end of your rainbow!!!

Kids say the darndest things

This was a facebook thing - but I thought I would share it here.... Max is 6 and Ben is 4:

1.What is something mom always says to you?
Max – Clean your Room!
Ben – Blow Your Nose

2. What makes mom happy?
Max – Because you love me
Ben – when I do good things

3. What makes mom sad?
Max – That I do naughty things
Ben - when I do sad things

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Max – Tickle me
Ben – by making funny faces

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Max – liked to play outside
Ben – She was doing good things and she got toys

6. How old is your mom?
Max - 33
Ben – 20-(he got on the floor and showed me all of his fingers and toes)

7. How tall is your mom?
Max – A lotta tall
Ben – a lotta tall

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Max – To go to China’s
Ben – Playing games and playing computer ganmes and playing clean up room games and playing clean the kitchen games

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Max – Play on the computer
Ben - Nothing

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Max – to be famous on a movie channel
Ben – ROCK STAR!!

11. What is your mom really good at?
Max - typewriting
Ben - Playing Ping Pong

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Max – I don’t know
Ben – Driving ships

13. What does your mom do for her job?
Max – Always work on the computer
Ben – You do work on your computer

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Max - Eggrolls
Ben - Sandwiches

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Max – because I like you
Ben - Eating all of your corn

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Max – Taz- the tazmanian devil
Ben – “Wilma” because she's real smart and stuff (from Scooby Doo)

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Max – play on the computer
Ben – Look at the moon

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Max – our skin is both white
Ben – We have same faces & ears

19. How are you and your mom different?
Max – our hair is different,mine is red and your's isn’t
Ben – I don’t needs glasses and you wear glasses

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Max – Because you like my red hair
Ben – because I am a boy and I am a baby

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Max – go to the park
Ben – the movie theaters

Forgive me, Father....

.. For I hath turned my back on a promise!!

So yes... I did say I was going to blog every day for Lent and in the past few days I have been silent. It has been a combination of things... but mostly coming off of the high of last week's events has left me slightly exhausted and needing to re-group and spend some time in the real world, rather than the virutal one. I was gone from my house every day for a week preparing for the audition and working on the audition tape. This absence led to a messy house, piled up laundry, and clingy children. Even the dog would panic a little when I would pick up my keys or purse to put them away.

You see, I am a homebody. I enjoy being at home and being with my family and my family knows this. They know their needs and desires come first and so when I was gone, they all sat aimlessly at the door hoping I would re-enter it soon. And I did too. It was wonderful... amazing... getting my creative juices flowing again, but I am out of practice. I am not used to living on 4 hours of sleep a night for several nights in a row.

So.. this week, I crashed a little .. it got cold and rainy and the most fabulous place in the world was snuggly in my blanket spending time with all my boys.

But I am back....

And for the record... no I have not heard anything about the audition... and I do not expect to for along time if ever. I promise to share any news here, but for now, we are at peace that the seed is in the ground and hopefully it will grow. We will trust in the process. If it is meant to be.. it will be.

A Belated Happy Birthday!

And in all this craziness, yesterday we celebrated the 41st birthday of my beloved husband and father of the greatest gifts ever given to me. Yesterday Mike passes over the 40's threshold and is now officially rolling down that hill.

This is the second year in a row where my precious husband's birthday has been stiffed on!! Last year we had a big Over the Hill party that had to be cancelled at the last minute because the stomach flu cast a plague upon our house. This year - well, see all the posts below.

The boys and I did manage to bake and decorate his cake. They helped with everything from picking the cake and the theme (Wall-E "because that is Daddy's favorite movie") to making it, to making sure the sprinkles looked like the Earth and the star sprinkles went "all over like the night sky!"

I love you so much, honey. You are the most supportive and amazing man. No one rolls with the punches better than you!

I love you, Ta Ta....
Princess P

We bought a ticket....

A long time ago, my father (who passed away 5 years ago), told me this great joke/story about a man in need praying to God for help - this story has always stuck with me in my bones. I am sharing it with you here so that the clip and explanation below makes more sense so - please - indulge me:


Joe found himself in serious financial trouble. He was desperate he decided to pray to God for help. He begins to pray. "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."
Lottery night comes and somebody else wins it. Joe again prayed."God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".
Lottery night comes and Joe is still out of luck. Once again, he prayed."My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good person and loyal to you and the church. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE... I beg you...just let me win the lottery this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the clouds part and the heavens open up. Joe falls to his knees in awe, shielding his eyes from the light as God's voice booms "Meet me halfway on this, Joe. Buy a fucking ticket!"

Well - Last week I am in my car on the way home from working with Kyle on our audition DVD and I was a little anxious and tired and frustrated so I put my sure fire inspiration song on - "God is trying to tell you something" from the Color Purple. I am weeping with prayer and I literally start yelling over the music - HELP ME, GOD!! I am meeting you half way!! I am buying the ticket!! PLEASE!!!

Fast forward a day or so and I am on the phone with Tiffanie and we are talking about how deflated I already am - Allison had already chewed my ass out earlier for sounding down when I hadn't even gotten on the field to play yet. I told Tiff that I was just frustrated in my mind that we were working SO hard on all this and the idea of no one seeing it, the idea that we couldn't even get an interview, was just overwhelming. She said - you know honey it's like they say - you can't get an interview if you don't send your resume out - you gotta buy the ticket! I nearly crashed my car. Why did you just say that?!?! WHY WOULD YOU JUST SAY THAT?!?!?! Have I ever told you the story my dad told me (see above)...I can't believe you JUST SAID THAT... she smiled through the phone said I love you and hung up.
The next day - I have had about 4 hrs of sleep, and I hear the morning news announce the casting directors for the Biggest Loser on the next segment - the casting director is talking - bring your pic, fill out an application ... yadda yadda yadda... we expect 500-1000 people, be patient - YOU HAVE TO REALIZE - THIS IS LIKE A LOTTERY TICKET FOR A LUCKY FEW.....

That was it - I hear you God - God was trying to tell us something - he was telling me I heard you the other night, I bring it back to you in the form of your best friend and I confirm it with the casting director.

So - THAT is what we mean when Kyle and I talk about "We bought the ticket"- we showed up - we did our half and we hit it out of the park - the rest is out of our hands...

Here is the video version of the blog post I wrote earlier - I am the writer - Kyle is the vlogger, so this is from his website:

Biggest Loser Audition

I have been talking about this all week....it is pretty much all I can talk, think, dream about... and today was the big day.

And well.....WE ROCKED!!!!

I mean.. hit it out of the park rocked. God was on our side and the angels were singing above... we just rocked!!

So, we get there a little after 7:00 - 3 hours before it is supposed to start - and there are already 500 people in line. Immediately I think - oh great... how the hell are we gonna do THIS?!?!? How are WE going to stick out in this group?? We pull out our chairs, bring out the magazines, and tick tock tick tock wait for the hours to go by. People are bored and slightly panicky that they are not going to meet the "only the first 500 people" threshold, so you see people walking up and down the line counting and at one point someone passed us and we were #460ish.

At around 9:30, you start to hear some raucous way at the beginning of the line. A few minutes later, we realize the production staff is sweeping the crowds with their camera trying to get those typical open casting call shots of the people in line. They go past us - crowds cheering and yelling, yadda yadda. By this time the crowd has probably swelled closer to 1000. The crew is making their way back from the back of the line to the front and they are shouting to the crowd - "Does anybody know the names of the 1st 6 winners?" yadda yadda... and people are scrambling to remember all the names, Kyle is racing in his mind and fiddling with his phone, I quickly say somethng about calling someone who could google it...yadda yadda... then the casting director asks, "Does anyone know the theme song?" The next thing I know, Kyle drops his arms to his side and belts, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD?!?!?!?!" I am dumbfounded - I know the song, but I can't remember the words... then the casting director rushes Kyle with the camera!!! I am standing there, mouth open when it occurs to me - START SINGING WITH HIM DUMB ASS!!! So I start singing with all my heart, the casting director pulls us out of line and gives Kyle a VIP pass to move us to the front of the line!!! I swear I heard the Chariots of Fire Theme in my head as we raced to the front of the line!!! I was so excited that I gave up our chairs to the people waiting in line since they were going to need it more than us now!!



So here we are at the front of the line. We go in and sit at a table of 10 VIP auditioners who will be the first to go in. We fill out some paper work and a former cast member - Amber from Season 4 - comes to our table to pep talk us and give moral support and tell everyone the process. Kyle and I take this opportunity to completely dominate the conversation, take pictures with her - anything to be seen and remembered.



It is time for us to go in. They have us sitting at a long table with 10 places all facing one direction - imagine a panel seated in front of an audience. The casting director asks for us to put our applications, pictures, whatever, in front of us facing him so he can go down the line and talk with each of us individually - we will have 20-30 seconds - that's it. He starts down the line - all I can think of is make it quick -make it original. He gets to Kyle - now Kyle doesn't think he did very well, but I think he did great and I gotta tell you - I am not sure they needed to see much more than Kyle singing at the top of lungs in front of 1000 people. You could tell the casting director liked the way his application/pics and DVD was organized, so I think it went great. He moves on to me. My application/pics/DVD are the same as Kyle's so he really doesn't look at that too much, but rather looks right at me. I tell him my story about coming into this world at 11 lbs - being the largest baby born to the hospital at the time and how people would come to my mom's room to meet the woman who gave birth to the biggest baby - basically I was famous for being fat. The casting director smiles and says, are you serious? Yes - yes I am. I finish up with how in my job I see how the weight loss surgeries can have major complications and I do not want to have that as my only option. DONE.

The casting director moves down the line, and I see him fiddling with the applications. I think that he is just flipping papers as a nervous thing to do while people are talking, but I realize, it looks like he is trying to organize them in an order... well, if my theory is right - Kyle and I were on top. At one point - he was talking to another person and I caught him glancing down to my application, not the person who he was talking to...

We leave the audition - and since we were the first in, the waiting crowd cheered us as we left - once again - Kyle and I take this as an opportunity to be seen and we become the King and Queen of the Mardi Gras parade - waving to everyone, saying goodbye and wishing everyone else luck. I catch the Season 4 cast member's attention and thank her for talking with us and she throws her hands to us and says "I love you guys!! I hope to see you on TV!!" -- Yeah - us too!!!

So what we found out in the process here is that it appears they are casting both season 8 & 9 - season 8 looks like it will be singles - which means we may be split up and season 9 is couples which means we may not get cast until much later. Call backs will be in Houston within the next 3 days - but even if we do not get a call - they have the DVD and we plan to send the DVD to casting in LA anyway.

Kyle said as we were leaving - there is just nothing else we could have done... we showed up and gave it our all - if they don't want it then there is nothing more we could have done.

Even if we do not get a call - I cannot tell you how wonderful this experience has been - there is soooo much more that has come about around this experience that I will get into at a later time, but the most important thing is we did it. We made up our mind and we did it... we would never have had the chance if we didn't try!

Thank you Kyle - Thank you so much for doing this with me... you will never know how much it meant to me - truly. I love you!!

Is it wrong?

Is it wrong that I am previewing my Biggest Loser Audition Tape while eating ice cream?

You've got to REALLY want it....

So as you may have seen below - one of my very dear friends, Kyle, and I are auditioning for the biggest loser. I would like to share with you how we came to this decision in a later post, but right now I want to discuss that nagging, tired, evil feeling that crushes momentum. Those ridiculous obstacles that pop up like brick walls on the freeway when you are going 70 miles an hour.

Do you know that feeling?

I used to be a robot and smash through obstacles like that. I used to laugh at the idea of something slowing me down. Then somewhere along the line, I would get mad at the walls. HOW DARE YOU POP UP HERE?!?!? Don't you know who I AM??? Then when the walls wouldn't talk back or wouldn't move and I got too tired to smash through them. I would silently give up, turn on my blinker and take a side street to avoid confrontation.

Not this time, baby!! I will tell you, those pesky little details are slamming on my brakes, and while frustrated, Kyle and I are slowing down, re-grouping and powering on ahead - cameras not working, DVD's not formatted right, batteries dying, horrible anticipation of cattle call lines - nope - putting the blinders on and charging ahead.

In all my emails back and forth with him as we planned this I would start and end with the same phrase - I am still serious.... and I am ...serious.

What I live for...

This is what I live for....



This is why I wake up every morning.....



And this is why I can sleep sound every night.....



Thank you for my Blessings!!

Secret revealed: Kyle & Becky are LOSERS!

and for those of you who can't Facebook or You Tube until you get home tonight:















My friend Kyle and I have decided to audition for the Biggest Loser. The clip above is the big reveal on his vlog along with some psuedo edited - by all means not final - clips that we taped yesterday. We still need to spend this week editing the final masterpiece and we have the open cattle call on Saturday.

I promise to share the journey here as we go.....

(pic from our stop to have lunch with Elvis when we were moving to New York - 1998)

I have a secret...

I have a secret...
No I am NOT pregnant....
Yes it is about me ... and someone else...
It is potentially life changing....
I will share it with you soon....
YES some of you already know, so don't ruin the fun and spill the beans, just relish in the knowledge you are one of the lucky few who know....