This ain't my 1st rodeo, kid......

I am getting ready this morning and Benjamin walks in to ask me a question that he already knows my answer will be no. I know this is about to happen because of the look on his face. The guilt-ridden 5 year old - "I have been thinking about this for forever (maybe 30 seconds) and I think I have worded it right so mommy will say yes this time" face.

Mommy - can I play the Wii?
No.
But mommy!!!
Benjamin - have you eaten your breakfast?
Yes!
Are you dressed?
YES!
Do you have your shoes on?
YES!!!
Is your homework in it's folder and ready to go the second mommy says it is time to go?
YES!! YES!!!
Okay - fine - but only Wii sports... do you hear me? No Lego Star Wars or Lego Batman - just Wii sports....
But but....
Then no Wii....
FINE!!!

He stomps out of the room.

A few minutes later, a smiling, guilty, "I got her this time" faced child comes in:

Mommy - There is no Wii Sports... I can't find it anywhere?!?!?!
Well, then there is no Wii...
But, but, I could play...
Ben - I said Wii sports or no Wii
BUT I CAN'T FIND IT!!!
Then mommy will come in there and help you.... (knowing full well it is in there)
Uhm.... wait... let me look one more time... (dashes out with a big grin)

Hollers back from the other room....

NEVER MIND, MOMMY... I FOUND IT!!!!

I snickered to my reflection in the mirror....Uh, huh, sure you did.....this ain't my first rodeo, kid.....

Uno momento con mi familia

Everyone was dragging this morning. Just one of those days, ya know? Even the dog wasn't interested in playing our reindeer games - he just laid lazily on his bed in our room lifting his eyes every now and again to acknowledge that he was still alive. Max was laying in our bed, eyes closed, hand hanging out of the covers - lovingly motioning for the dog to come over for the good morning petting ritual.

Woody was having none of it.

Max became a little more insistent - "WOODY!! (kiss, kiss sounds) Come here, boy!"

Again - nothing.

Max flung himself to a seated position and with swollen sleepy eyes started yelling at Woody:

"Yo hablamente contigo! Venga aqui! Andele, andele!! Yo soy serioso!!!"

Well.... the dog did nothing, but I started howling with laughter and Mike said, "Well, at least he is using it!"

Catch up letters....

Dear Math,

I forgot how much I dig you. I dig you because you only have ONE right answer. Generally, you have only ONE super secret formula to get to that right answer. Once you have figured out that super secret formula, you get the right answer over and over and over again. And then you feel like a rock star. If only life was that easy.

Thanks for the reminder,
Former Math Student



Dear 3 guys at the gym,

So yes, I gave you pissy frustrated looks at the gym the other night because just when I was ready to switch machines you took the only three available machines left making me do an extra 10 minutes on a machine that had already made my legs feel remarkably like spaghetti - after their 15 minute soak in boiling water. But I am sorry for the nasty look - you made me work out longer and harder than I have thus far and that is a good thing.

Yours truly,
Sweaty girl on the elliptical



Dear Biggest Loser,

You don't suck so bad this season. There is just enough drama to make it interesting, but not too much crazy or heartache to make it unrelatable. I enjoyed our date last Tuesday night as I spent the entire show working out watching you guys work out. Kind of nice. Maybe we can hook up again next week?

Best Regards,
Loyal fan and audition reject

P.S. Please, please, please stop with the infomercials during the show - PLEASE!!! - we are just not that stupid.

Dear Adam Lambert,


I think I love you. I am not positive - but you might be my perfect combination of gay fabulous, 80's hair-band make-up, musical theatre bravado and a super sweet glaze of Freddy Mercury magnificence. They jury is still out, but I am definitely smitten.

Luv,
New fan



Dear Blog,

Sorry I have been absent - I am trying so very hard to get back into the groove post holiday and I think I just might be there - maybe... just maybe......

With all my love,
your author

Happy New Year

Happy New Year....

yup.

New Year.... New Decade... new new new.

Clean out the old, clean up the messes, move on to the shiny new.

Let it go let it go let it go.

That which does not help, satisfy, complete, or nourish me....goodbye.

I am so done. For the first time in a really long time.... for realz this time.

Enough.