Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Checking in 2 years post vertical sleeve gastrectomy

This blog quickly became a frequent stomping ground for many people coming to look for information regarding vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery.  I am glad that someone new comes pretty much every day to read up on the journey, because it is wonderful to know so many people are out there trying to change their lives for the better.  And I promise you - it is for the better.


I also feel that in order to respect the integrity of the journey, I must also be very real.  I have lost 130 pounds.  Hallelujah!  But I have also gained 10 - lost 4 - gained 1 - gained 5 - lost 7 - stayed the same - stayed the same - lost 4 - gained 7.....

You get my point.

This will never go away.  Let me repeat that... THIS WILL NEVER GO AWAY.  This is my chronic illness.  This is my cross to bare.  This is mine to deal with day in and day out.  I will never find a time when I can hang up the shovel and say "Whew! Glad that's over!"  Two years post surgery and it is still a learning curve every single day.

I still obsess over the scale
I still make poor choices regarding food intake
I still don't like the way I look in some clothes
I still have trouble maintaining my weight
I still drink diet coke like water

but I also

Exercise 5-7 times a week
I do yoga
I do pilates
I do body combat
I run
I wear the same clothes size I have since I got to my lowest weight
I plan / schedule meals
I make choices in my life to stay committed to the "new me" plan
I give myself a break when I stray from the "new me" plan
I give myself reality checks when I stray too far from the "new me" plan

I am writing this because I want to make it clear that the rollar coaster of this life changing event has not pulled into the station.  I know that when I used to research blogs/forums about this topic when I first started, people just fell off the web around year 1, sort of like I did after my last blog entry which was in May of 2012.

The fall out is party due to the fact that I just didn't want to talk about it anymore.  I just wanted to enjoy the fruits of the labor and be the new me.  Sometimes it was because I wanted to hide the fact that I was still worried/obsessed/struggling with the issues.  But that's life.  That's reality. It goes up, it goes down. The greatest achievement in this journey is learning to go with the flow and not allow the ups to go too far up and the downs to drag me into the mud and keep me there.