Sunday, June 29, 2008

See Ya!!

LA is calling and we gotta fly......

You see, we gots ourselves a fancy schmancy wedding to attend on a fancy schmancy yacht out in the bay off of LA, while two love birds gets hitched under the fireworks on the 4th of July!

And to make it even better, the attire is old Hollywood (1920-1950's). Let's just say that when I tried on my Mae West outfit and asked my mafia man if there was a gun in his pocket or if he was just happy to see me.... he was happy to see me.....

Now you people play nice this holiday or else I am gonna have to send my boys to rough you up....

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Hard Lessons- Update

He was dressed before the cereal hit the table.

As we drove to school, he silently chanted, "please don't go red, please don't go red, please don't go red...." at every stop light.

As we drove in the parking lot and saw the school bus hadn't even been loaded yet, he shouted, "YES!!!" and quickly took his seat belt off and ran to his class room.

I think he got the lesson.

...for a little while.....

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Hard Lessons

So Max learned a hard lesson today.

It has been a rough couple of weeks around our house. Crazy mixed up schedules with too much to do and too little time to do it in. The result of this toxic combination has been out of control children and even worse behavior.

Today was one of those mornings. One of those mornings when my voice appears to be on mute. Nothing I said was being heard, the louder I got, the worse the behavior got. Since I, too, am suffering from little sleep syndrome, I am not handling the situations in the most adult and dignified ways, either, but this is about Max today, so I digress.....

Max would not get dressed. He would not put his toys down. He would not put his breakfast dishes in the sink. He would not ________. He would not ___________. He would not __________. I could fill in those blanks all day long.

I knew he had a field trip today. HE knew he had a field trip today. He knew he was going to the movies and what movie he was seeing. He talked about it all morning in between me yelling for him to get dressed and do his chores.... he knew and I knew.... what I knew better was how to tell time and I knew that we were going to miss the field trip bus. And I did not care. I reminded him that his delays could mean the bus would leave without him, and that would put a small spark under his hiney for about 5 seconds, but then his toy truck would distract him and the vicious cycle would start over.

After 45 minutes of fighting to get out the door, we are on the way to school.

We arrive at school just in time for Max to get out of the car and watch the field trip bus drive out of the parking lot.

He collapsed to his knees in tears.

I asked him to stand up and I talked with him face to face. I reminded him that the reason he missed this field trip was because he did not follow directions and did not get dressed when mommy told him to. I told him that tomorrow was a BIG field trip to the zoo - and he better try harder tomorrow or he would miss that bus too.

He dried his eyes and walked into the school. Because all of his friends and teachers were gone, he was asked to be a teacher's helper in Ben's class - which helped brighten the situation.

I know I probably could have waved my arms like a chicken with my head cut off to get them to stop the bus. I know where the field trip was going and I probably could have driven him there myself to catch up with his friends - and I would have been a rock star in my son's eyes... but then we would have missed the point entirely.

I felt horrible as I drove away from his school because I had several ways I COULD have fixed the situation, but I chose not to.

I chose the hard road in hopes that this little event makes a big impact in his life.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

It's all about me....

Here is a mosiac of me. The game is to answer the following questions by going to Flickr and placing your images into a mosaic.... so here you go:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

1. Rebecca Roams, 2. London Pasta Week: Day 1, 3. Bellaire, Tx Fire Dept., 4. If at first you don't succeed..., 5. Portrait: Sopranos, 6. feet and some wine, 7. evening James River sky, 8. coffee and chocolate mousse cake, 9. Bye Bye Marcel Marceau... (Ben Heine), 10. Matthew Hits the Sauce Pretty Hard, 11. ~ Light ~, 12. The Apple Peeler

10,000 Doors

I got a great email yesterday.

It won't matter that 10,000 doors might be slammed in your face because when door number 10,001 flies open, revealing pathways of jade and gardens of love, with flowers dancing, fountains sparkling, friends blushing, moonbeams beaming, and abundance abounding, you'll completely forget about all the other doors.
Happens every day,
The Universe

It made me cry. I have been very blue lately because I have been focusing on a lot of closed doors. Doors I wish, VERY MUCH, were open, or even there, but they are not. It is getting harder and harder to put my chin up and find silver linnings when everything has that dusky coat of grey.

So to catch up and not be vague -

I did not get a teaching gig again this year. I had the opportunity to apply for one very close to our house - like 3 miles. There were many great things about it, but it didn't happen and it didn't happen in such a way that made me stumble a bit in my thinking about going for this position in the future. The older I get, the less likely it will be for me to obtain this position, and the further away I get from my experience. The further away from my experience I am, the better the next resume looks. I don't look good on paper and if I can't get in the door, I can't convince them otherwise.
I will fully accept the fact that I am also not willing to compromise some details that would help tip the scales in my favor, so I can't rent the space on the cross entirely. I am not willing to travel to a smaller district up to an hour away when I have 2 small children. I am not ready to give more to the job than I am to my family life, just because of a lousy commute - my family needs me too much right now.

Things would be different if I HAD to find a job, but I don't. I WANT to find a job.

Okay... another topic clouding up my sunny days..... being a 30 something mother and wife of a young family in their poverty years.... this just sucks. I am sure I have blogged here about this before, but oh my... it just pisses me off!!! How is it possible that a young couple who makes good money lives with their heads barely above water?!?!? I nearly lost my mind once when I overheard a conversation at my daycare. The front desk was counseling a mother new to the daycare as she signed up for her government assisted daycare. "Do I have to sign up for both morning and afternoon?" - "You might as well, they pay for both anyway..." I wanted to pass out. I pay the equivilant of a home mortgage or 4 car payments to have my children here each month and they were flippantly talking about this, because, well hey..."THEY" will pay for it.

We are fine, just fine, we get along fine, everything is fine. We survive...just....fine.....

Thursday, June 12, 2008

"You didn't update your blog?!?!?"

So last night, I am on the computer checking up on some blogs and my husband comes up behind me....

You didn't update your blog?!?
Excuse me?
You just left everyone hanging.. you haven't updated your blog....
What the hell are you talking about?
You talk about Ben being sick, but you didn't tell them he is better, you didn't post Max's graduation, you aren't posting!!!
Back off!!! This is MYYYYYY journal.... I don't see you updating YOUR blogs!! One hasn't been updated since 2007 and the other since pot, this is kettle, love the new black outfit!!!

Thursday, June 05, 2008


I feel all weird trying to think of something to post because it has been so long since I have posted. It is not like I do not have anything to post about, because I do, but I also feel like I could wander through the past few years of archives and just re-post past posts and voila - I am reliving history, same old story different day, slightly different characters.

I am actually boring myself. I find myself not wanting to talk to people because I do not want to hear the same crap out of my own mouth.

Biggest picture issue - there is nothing going on. I am a big picture kind of person, and I cannot find joy in the moment. I enjoy working on the big picture and right now, the big picture is terribly boring. There are small things going on and events to fill the calendar, but no masterpiece is in the works right now and I am bored. And when I am bored, I am tired.

So yeah... post..... and there you have it.