Monday, October 25, 2004

Kidney Stones

Dear Universe....

I acknowledge that I like to do things in my life with a little dramatic flair.
I acknowledge that I (either conciously or subconciously) create my life story before living it.
I DO NOT acknowledge that every event must be surrounded with a story I will share with others until the day that I die.

So remember how I said that I was up on Thursday night from 3:30 until 7:00 with labor pains? Well, I went to bed early on Friday night to then bolt out of bed in pain at 10:30. I was having a seizing feeling on my left side that would not relax. Nothing would release the pain.. walking... heat.... massage... nothing. At about 11:00, I call my sister who says, "Call the doctor". A response I hate to hear from both her and my mother. So Mike calls the doctor because by now I can't speak. She says, come in to the hospital so that they can put me on a monitor. I hate this even more, because 9 out of 10 times you get there and they just stare at you and send you home. Since Max is already asleep we need someone to come stay with him until one of my family can get there to take him back to Alvin (Mom and everyone was over there because Kameron's big birthday bash was the next day). I call Todd & Allison because they are closest in proximity, but Allison was out and Todd was with Noah alone. I then think... Uncle TJ. Perhaps on some strange luck, Travis did not go out this Friday night and he is just sitting up watching TV. No such luck... but Na Na Linda was awake and she came to the rescue.
Now we are on the way to the hospital....Mike's good and loving husband response is to keep a calm head and drive to the hospital obeying every rule. Becky's painful and demon response was to scream at him that he is allowed to break the rules this time, I will explian to the nice officer how it feels to have a knife twisted in your back for an hour & a half straight.
We arrive at the hospital and normally they send you to their version of the ER whci is called the treatment room, but this time they send me to Labor & Delivery. This is my 1st "Oh shit moment"! We get upstairs, walk through the big doors, and I walk a few feet to a housekeeping cart where I proceed to vomit violently. I hear a nurse walk up beside me and say, " You must be Ms. Randall!" She tells me that my room is a few doors down and did I need a wheelchair... yeah like the last 15 feet I am gonna need a wheelchair.... no thanks I think I will just continue to walk and vomit while pushing this housekeeping cart!
I get into the room and they quickly get me into the bed to put me on the monitors. Here comes the 2nd "oh shit" moment of the night. The nurse is searching my belly for a heartbeat and cannot find one. As time progresses it gets more and more frantic, "Ms. Randall when is the last time you felt the baby move... Ms. Randall has the baby moved in the last hour...." This is when a cold hard reality has hit me... I have no idea the last time the baby moved. Did the baby die and my body is just having a reaction to it? Finally... thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa... the shear relief masks the pain for a while.
They start the IV, have me sign tons of paper that looked nothing like my signature and monitor me for awile before the doctor says... "I think you might have kidney stones". The give me a shot of anti-nausa medicine and a shot of demoral which did not stop the pain, but sure knocked my ass out so that I could not feel it!
I slept so hard that I did not even feel them monitoring me all night. I woke up around 6:30 and the pain was gone. This utter joy was soon shattered by the 3rd and final "oh shit" moment of the night's events. Dr. Elizabth Swaim walks in the door... yes, ladies and gents... the witch doctor who kept me in a potossin induced labor for 18 hours with MAX. The skanky whore who refused to give me an epidural beacuse it would only slow the process. She proceeds to tell me that she doesn't think it is kidney stones, but she will agree to the ultrasound anyway... what a whore!!!
Well the whore was wrong... the ultra sound showed that yes it was a kidney stone. Unfortunately, it is very painful and there is not a damn thing thay can do about it but wait until it passes...
Good news... baby is fine ... bad news.... no stone yet.. or at least i don't think so... my mom says I may get lucky and it will dissolve once in the bladder and I will not feel it come out... I will keep you posted!

Friday, October 22, 2004

What a night....

So I am not exactly sure if my husband has his head up his ass all the time or just when related to me...

Last night Mike had a softball game. It started at 6:30, so I said I would pick up Max and dinner and bring it to the field. Now the last softball game was very difficult because it was a long walk from the parking lot to the field and Max was ansy and didn't want to walk. So I carried him and my very pregnant body way too far and ended up in a lot of pain. Remembering this scenario last time, I asked Mike to bring the umbrella stroller.

We get to the park, and big surprise... no other team is there. I still need to get to the field because I have purchased dinner for my family as well as Emily's girls. I go to Mike's car to get the stroller and I get a locked car with no stroller. So now I am further along this pregnancy than before, still have an ansy 23 month old, and now I have 6 drinks, 4 boo bucket happy meals and a bag of adult food that I now have to carry from the parking lot to the field. I managed huffing and puffing to get there with only one casualty...MY DRINK!!!

I finally get there and the guys have decided to leave... big shocker!

... and what do I see parked next to the bleachers... an umbrella stroller carrying Mike's softball equipment and a cooler of drinks for him...

P.S. ... to add to Mike's guilt I woke him in the middle of the night because I was having contractions from 3:30 until 7:00 this morning....

Tuesday, October 19, 2004


Very tired today... way tired actually. You know the kind of tired where you are not even sure what you did in the last 5 minutes.. that tired.

I am sure it had something to do with staying up switching channels between Fox & FX (9...72...9...72...9). I am not into sports that much, but I definitely get caught up in the excitement. I love being that excited. Seeing those people in the stands all banded togther for one cause... to cheer the guys on the field! Everyone breathes in unison, holds their breath in unison and screams in unison. I love that feeling too... that amazing burst of energy when a huge group of people explode all at the same time. You feel the tension right before and then "WHAMMO"! Oh what a great feeling!

Feeling the energy between people is just so amazing to me. I mean truly feeling it. I guess that is also one of the things I love and miss about theatre, both in production and performing. I can remember some of the greatest moments surounded by total strangers hanging on my every word. I remember one monologue when I could feel the audience's collective eyes on me, so quiet that I could hear a pin drop in the back row. I can also remember times when I would sit in the audience watching a performance that I had seen a hundred times in rehearsal suddenly explode with meaning when it was married with the energy of the audience. I used to just sit there and cry for my friends who were there... in the zone so to speak... and watch the audience totally entranced by their performances.. talk about seeing the beauty of your loved ones through other people's eyes.

I guess that is one of the things that has kept me so attached to certain people. It is realy hard to walk away from a friendship when you have seen them so intimately. Sometimes it is hard to see things face to face, but when you see it in other people's faces, you see them through this crazy 3 way mirror. And you can't explain it to the person,and it sounds like you are blowing smoke, but you truly saw a piece of their soul as they were bearing to these strangers. The strangers have no idea how intense it was, but you do... and you love them for it!

Oh goodness.. I have no idea where that came from... now I am even more tired than before. But a good tired...

Monday, October 18, 2004

Max's Big Boy Bed!

Yes.. it is official. My firstborn is no longer in a crib! I thought this was going to be a difficult transition, but as of day one, we are doing great!

We wanted to make it a surprise, but like his mother, Max does not like surprises. Mike tried disappearing into his bedroom to take apart the crib and assemble the bed, but Max just opened the door and asked, " whassis? wha doin?" Daddy advised that this was a surprise, but as soon as he saw Daddy's tools, any attempt to shoo him away was futile! Max loves tools! And don't try to fool him with the baby versions of tools... no way! He knows which are which and he knows how to use them (ie screw driver goes into the screw and then into the hole).

So it took the better part of the afternoon with Max's help in between "COW" (Open Range) and "Buzz" (Toy Story), but eventually it was put togther. I then tried to make the bed with his new sheets, comforter, etc... but Max just kept climbing on the bed and "pretending" to sleep. He was just so excited! He kept bringing his sleepy friends (Duck, Teddy, Bear, & Kittie) up on the bed to sleep with him. We did have one minor speed bump when we put the side rail up, but Max's tears soon subsided when we showed him how he could climb up and down on his own at the bottom of the bed.

When it was nigh nigh time, we laid him in his bed, and shut the door . He talked with his "friends" for a couple of minutes then fell asleep. This morning, he called for us, but did not get out of bed until we came in to say good morning!

Okay... okay... I know this was only the first night, but a mommy can dream for an easy transition, can't she?

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Maybe less than 9 1/2 weeks

It is a good thing that Allison & Emily hosted such a lovely baby shower for me this past weekend. It really got me in the baby mode... new onsies & socks, bottles, and diapers! It was so much fun to be around so much love and support assuring me that, yes... we can do this! We can add one more to our family without jumping out of any windows!

And according to my doctor, we might be having this baby even sooner than expected. Yes... for some reason my liver just does not appreciate the fact that I am growing a new life inside and decides that if I am gonna overuse my bodies resources, it is goning to protest and stop functioning properly. The same thing happened with Max but it was not discoverd until my 38th week. My levels are only slightly elevated now, so she is going to re-test in 2 weeks and see how things are progressing. I just have this crazy feeling that since I am the world's greatest procrastinator, my children were sent to help me with this lesson. Starting with their births, they are going to push me out of all of my comfort zones and force me to be on time, okay.. a little closer to on time than my usual ( no comments from the peanut gallery).

Monday, October 11, 2004

9 1/2 weeks

And no... I am not referring to the movie. There are absolutely no similarities between that movie and my life right now!

It is roughly 9 1/2 weeks until my scheduled c-section, December 15th. Last week I cornered my husband, Mike, and expressed to him the sheer panic of the thought that we were going to be having yet another babe in our house! Now, we are a little more prepared for this one than we were with Max, but we are still not ready. I told Mike that there was a very short list of things that absolutely had to be done before this child arrives:

1. Laminate floors: All new parents should have laminate floors. I am not a good enough house keeper to have carpet. That combined with a husband who wears nothing but mud tracking work boots and a child who spent the 1st year of his life with projectile spit up adds up to one incredibly dirty light beige carpet.
2. "Max's Room" converted to "Max & Ben's Room": This appears on the outside to be a very simple task, but because of our busy schedule recently it keeps getting pushed further and further away. (and yes... I know Ben won't know and he is going to be sleeping in the bassinet for a while...but I will know!) Grandma bought Max a big boy bed over a month ago and it lays in boxes waiting to be put together along one of Max's walls.
3. The back office room conversion: I want to be one of those women... you know.. organized with pretty baskets full of little projects to enlighten the life of your family and those around you. I have had the layout for this project sketched for over a year. I know exactly what and where I want to buy everything that will make my happy homemaker dreams come true. Paper to reality... very big leap!

#1. Accomplished
#2. Again, boxes on the floor
#3. 3/4 of the room painted

I know we can get this done in the next 9 1/2 weeks... I pray and plead we can get this done in the next 9 1/2 weeks.

Oh yeah...
4. Decorate for Christmas: I will not bring my new son home during my favorite holiday without a Christmas tree... so even if I have to get those stupid decorations up weeks before Thanksgiving... I WILL HAVE CHRISTMAS EXPLODED ALL OVER MY HOME!!

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Inside the Actor's Studio

For those of you who have no idea, Inside the Actor's Studio is a show that comes on Bravo and interviews entertainment celebs in front of a live studio of graduate students from The New School in New York. For some celebs, it is masturbation on stage, for some it is a great way to see your favorite celebs, Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, Mike Meyers (this one was great!) unedited for an extended period of time, talking about acting and stories from behind the scenes. At the end, the host, James Lipscomb (sp?), asks the celebs these same questions which are from some french wholahala blah blah blah... I tune out every time he expalains were the questions come from...

This is my masturbatory moment:

What is your favorite word?

What is your least favorite word?

What turns you on?

What turns you off?

What is your favorite curse word?

What sound or noise do you love?

What sound or noise do you hate?

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

What profession would you not like to do?

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Please feel free to copy and post....I would love to see everyone's responses!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Crazy Horrible Dreams

Okay dream analysts... bring out your books and theories...

Last night I had 2 very distinct dreams that I don't think are related, but hey who knows. You never see things as well as others see them.

It starts out with me sitting in a room with several other people and we are being held hostage by some middle eastern group. Then it slowly morphs into a bunch of ladies that are being held captive at some Nazi prison camp, but the soldiers were being very attentive, not mean. And at some point I am on the phone with someone and he is trying to tell me how I can escape when I look up to a second floor to see one of the soldiers eaves dropping on the conversation, and I panic. I see the soldier hang up the phone and start to tell the other soldiers and I start crying and talking very quickly to the other girls, saying "I am so sorry, I am so sorry... I was just trying to figure out a way for us to escape and I blew it, I blew it!" Then the soldiers start looking at us very disappointed like, "why did you go and do that, now we have no choice!" And then they all start to abandon the building and leave. All the ladies go crazy because we all know that they are going to do something serious like blow up the building, or start mass shootings to kill us all and we have no were to go!

Then it quickly shifts to this other dream where I am going to this house. I go inside and it is some sort of daycare. I see Max, but we don't leave write away and just hang around playing. Then this woman walks up and Max runs into her arms and they start to leave. I start to go after him, but the daycare worker says, "Mam, just let him go home with his mother" I lose it! I start screaming that he is my son, not hers and then next thing I know Mike and my mother are there begging me to calm down saying, "Becky, you don't have a son, what are you talking about?" I am crying that cry that you can't breathe because you are crying so hard, to the point I wake myself up because I am not breathing and about to cry.

What the hell?

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

I just love it!!

I just love the blog....

Just saw today that Kyle is now blogging!

Thank you , thank you, thank you Emily for bringing us to this new addiction!

Instead of sneaking out of the office for a smoke, people are now sneaking on line to blog!

If you are sitting there reading these blogs thinking, "I would really like to do this"... DO IT!! and please let me know so that I can add you to my ever growing list of blogs I love to read!

Blogs I would like to see.... Dennis, Allison, the Franco's, the Smith's (especially,you, Linda)...

I just love it!

Monday, October 04, 2004

Garage Sale Weekend!!


It never ceases to amaze me the power of a garage sale. First, it forces you to clean up your house and get rid of crap that you know you will never use, and quite frankly never used in the 1st place! I really have to be in the mood for purging, and when I am, I can clean out a lot! I have to keep reminding myself that I am tired of living in clutter and if I can't think of a purpose for it right now, it's gone!! I also want to re-do our office area to be a more organized computer, craft, relaxing area and Mike said I couldn't do that until I got rid of a bunch of stuff... talk about the pot calling the kettle black! I basically have to beg, plead and cry to get Michael to get rid of some of the crap he has collected through the years.
I have a huge fear when it comes to Mike and his genetic tendencies toward pack-rat-ness. Shortly after Mike and I started dating, his grandmother passed away. I volunteered to help clean out her apartment....OH MY GOD!!! Boxes, floor to ceiling, with magazines in them. Boxes and boxes of yarn and fabric... crap crap crap!! And not taken care of crap.... smelly, moldy, I don't bother to take out the trash crap! And it doesn't end with his grandmother... his mother and sister are the same way. Now our garage is full of "priceless" crap that my husband cannot part with... comic books, old stuffed animals, magazines with one good article that he swears he will need one day. Somedays I just basically sit on Michael and force him to watch "Clean Sweep" on TLC. What those organizers say to the couples is so revealing sometimes!! I just love TV that is both therapy and entertaining!
Anyhoo... back to the garage sale... we stayed up very late Friday night setting up all of our stuff, "our" being: me, my mom, and sister, Karen. The next morning I wake up to Wes Hohenstein telling me that major storms, 2-3 inches of rain, were heading our way and would start around 9:00... crap crap crap... I am too tired and too worn out to not benefit from all of our hard work with a little cash! Mom and Karen think about canceling... I say we try until the rain starts. We agree a little is better than nothing.
Karen and I go to put the signs up. You would think we were topless in front of a fraternity offering free kegs of beer. People were screeching on their brakes, honking and pointing in the directions of the sign's arrows, smiling and giving up thumbs up!
Luckily we had our own little Walmart greeters back at the house to welcome the masses. Max and Kaitlyn, Karen's daughter, kept post on the driveway waving hello and goodbye to everyone. It was very difficlult for the little ones to understand why people were taking their toys away. Kameron, Karen's oldest son, had a little separation anxiety at one point and followed a kid to his car with his wagon of toys. We had to remind him that with all the money "HE" was making he could buy a really cool toy!
Then, the negotiating begins. The key to garage sales is always remembering that you do not want this stuff back into your home! I am not willing to give it away, but almost. If you show me that you are going to take a lot of my crap, I am more willing to give it to you for less. It was also fun to see the people moving from me, to my mom, then to my sister (who was the banker) to see who would give them the better deal! Little do they know that we are all psychically bonded and would know what the others said!
To make this long story just a little longer, we made over $600! And it never rained a drop! The sad news is, we probably only sold 1/3 of all the crap that was in our sale. So rather than pack everything up, we just moves the tables inside and agreed to try again next Saturday... greedy, aren't we?

Friday, October 01, 2004

October 1st

I just love the Fall! And to me October 1st is the beginning of Fall. October 1st is like getting on a roller coaster in our house. It starts with my husband creating a spooky haunted house of our home for Halloween, his absolute favorite holiday of the year. I love decorating for holidays because it is almost like a mini vacation. You get to transform your home into something different if only for a little while.

Shortly after Halloween, we have Max's birthday, followed by our wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving, the arrival of our new bundle of joy, and then Christmas! By the time next year comes, I will have this woozy post roller coaster feeling and look forward to sitting on my coach and vegging out for a while!

This is also the time of year I miss New York the most. It was around this time that things really started getting cooler and you got to take out all your comfy cold weather clothes. For some reason you always had the energy to meet up for drinks after work and wind down. We don't get to do that here.... the fact that we all have families now is definitely a major factor. But night life is a lot more tangible there than it is here.... you would go out with your work friends to a local restaurant or bar before getting on the subway, or you would meet up with your neighborhood friends before heading home. Once I am home, I am home... But if you can entice me prior to getting there, it is hard to get me to say goodnight.

Fall means friends to me... events with friends, friends coming into town for a holiday visit, shopping with friends, gossiping about events and shopping with friends...