Monday, September 30, 2013

9 years

I started this blog 9 years ago today.  A lot has happened and I am thankful I took the time to document it here, which is why I am regretful that I did not document more.  It is so great to be able to go back, read the entries and take a little stroll down memory lane.

The biggest regret is the boys... the stories... the accomplishments... the funny jokes.  I am a terrible historian, and I want to remember all these moments, and not for me... for them.  I love sitting around large groups of people and hearing the crazy stories or learning from their bumps in the road.   I want my boys to know every funny moment... every challenging moment... every defining moment.

I want to come here more.  And I am going to come here more.  And I am going to write more.  Life got busy so I stopped coming here.  Then I started on the weight loss journey, and this started sounding like a themed blog.  I could't figure out how to switch the gears, so I just stopped coming.  Life got very stressful and it was so stressful, I couldn't write because I was so critical of anything I wrote.. so I stopped coming here.

But the thing is... I NEED to come here.  It's my therapy.  It's part creative, part processing, part closure.  Writing here helped me to step out of my zone, compartmentalize, work through, then leave it behind.  There were several times when people would come up to me later and ask how I was, or how are things with that frowny face of concern.  Sometimes I would honestly not remember what the issue was at that time.  Writing it out helped me to pass through it and let it be.

So... on this random 9th anniversary, I am making a commitment .. no...request to myself and only to myself.  Please come back.  Please come back here.  We love it here.  We need it here.  It is so valuable and will mean so much later on.  Process here.  Document here.  Dream here.  Create here.  Take time to step out of the zone, look at the big picture, write it down, then get back into the game.