Saturday, January 29, 2005

An extra key

Mental note: always keep an extra house key in the utility room.
So I am putting laundry in the dryer and I hear Max playing with the doors to the utility room, a usual game for us on laundry day. Only this time I hear a little more engineering on his part...OH MY GOD... he has locked the "baby lock" around the doors and I can't get out! I knew this was coming... for months I have known this could backfire in my face. Max figured out a long time ago how to get the lock off these doors and we though it was so cute and funny. Of course THIS is going to happen when Mike is out of town and not able to come open the doors!
Mommy: "Max... baby... open the doors"
Max: (giggle, giggle, giggle)
Mommy: "Max, honey... mommy is serious... take the lock off"
Max: "Lock off?"
Mommy: "Yes baby... take the lock off"
Max turns and walks away heading toward his room.
What the hell am I gonna do? I can get out through the door in the utility room, but the other doors are locked and I have no key to get back in! I am not prepared to go to my neighbors house to admit what a bad mother I am and that my son is so tired of my company this week that he has locked me in the utility room!
Okay, here goes... I am either going to break the lock or break the doors... either way these door are going to fly open....BAM!!!
Luckily the lock broke, not the doors.
Again, mental note: Always keep an extra house key in the utility room!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

The 411

So I watched the Katie Couric special tonight about the 411 concerning teens & sex. I was surprised to see that they were quite honest in saying that all the hype was just "BS" and there is not some rampant wave of sex hungry teens having oral sex in the bathroom between classes at every high school in America. It is out there but not to the point which has caused mass hysteria amongst their generations' parents.
What got me thinking was listening to the teens conversations with openess and clarity and thinking it could have been taped between me and my friends 15 years ago. The "experts" were saying that parents have to be comfortable having the conversations with each other before they can have those talks with their teens.
So I wonder what is going to happen when my kids are teens? I have always been able to have very frank, open talks with pretty much anyone in the right situation. I wonder if that is rare or more common in my generation? I know I may be a little idealistic here, but I think that my generation may be one of the first to finally be able to shed the taboo topics of the past and get down to the nitty gritty with our kids.
Every generation seems to get "IT" sooner. The "life is worth more than all the little stuff" realization. But again... am I fooling myself? I am sure my parents thought that they were going to be able to raise their kids better than they were raised...but here is the big realization... I don't... or rather I don't want to. I love the way that I was raised. I love the way that my firends were raised. I have more women in my life that I want to mirror my parenting skills after than I have negative examples I want to learn from. But even the negative examples are open to telling me about their mistakes rather than pretend they did nothing wrong and it was all their kids' fault. May be that is the big difference. For so many generations, parents thought that there was no way what they did could possibly be wrong and it was their children's fault they turned out bad. Now people are more open to having conversations that begin with, "I am not going to tell you what is right and what is wrong, but I hope you can take something from my experience."
Am I full of it?

Monday, January 24, 2005

Major Trauma Drama at Babys R Us

We did it to ourselves, My sister and I were feeling ambitious. Both of us had errands to do, both of us have husbands away, both have no desire to tackle the outside world by ourselves with children who out number us.
So here we are, 2 against 5 (breaking down into ages 5, 2, 2, 5 months and 7 weeks). We start the day at McDonalds, let them run off a little energy. Now this tactic can backfire, if they burn off too much energy we will end up with cranky tired children who have had improper nutrition and no decent nap.
Next stop, haircuts. Again, pushing the envelope with the 2 two year olds, but we are doing okay because we take them to Cool Cuts for Kids that has them seated in small cars watching Elmo & Bob the Builder.
Moving on to Sam's.... very quick stop but extremely boring to the troops. We move quickly trying to keep them in the carts and not stopping to browse at any location for too long... key is to keep them moving and trick them into thinking we are almost done.
Last stop... Babys R Us. Here is where we went to far. By now it is between 5 and 6 o'clock. We are tired and can't quite remember exactly what we are here for. Kids are getting ansy and hungry again, especially the babies. The 5 year old has lost total control of is actions.
Here is where the trauma comes in. Picture this: two carts waiting to check out. Cart #1 two year old and 7 week old. Cart #2, two year old in basket, 5 month old in seat of basket in one of those floppy things that puts them in a germ free pillowy cocoon. Five year old comes running and jumps on side of Cart #2 which brings basket and all it's contents (toddler and infant) CRASHING TO FLOOR!! Here is the only good thing about what has just happened... we are in Babys R Us... everyone shopping here is either a mother, mother to be, or shopping for a mother to be. Entire store of maternal instinct comes rushing to hot zone before anyone even hits the floor. And this is a good thing because total melt down has commenced. The 5 month old is crying out of shock, but no damage thanks to pillowy floppy thing. Two year old is crying, but quickly subdued by pacifier that she still clutches on to for dear life, no major damage. Five year old shaking and crying with the fear of God that his mother is going to kill him... who is shaking because her instinct is to do just that but she is in a public place and there would be witnesses. 7 week old starts crying because the chaos has woken him up and he is hungry and the other two year old is crying because no one will give him the goldfish crackers he was about to get before the Titanic started going down minutes before.
Moral of the story? I have no idea... it is 1 o'clock in the morning and I have had a stressful day... Can any of you find the moral in this story?

8 hours

He did it.
He went to sleep at 10:30.
He woke up at 6:30.

The ironic part of the story is that MAX woke up at 4:30 (Ben's usual wake up time) moaning and crying. "Moooommmmmyyyy....Juice!" (I get him a sippy cup of water) "Thank you, mommy" (in a sweet little whisper I barely hear)... then right back to sleep.

Being the "Terms of Endearment" mom that I am, (Shirly Mclaine, not Debra Winger) I woke up several times and touched Ben to make sure he was still breathing...which he was... which I knew he would be... but it never hurts to check... because if you don't check it will haunt you until you do... this is why I get no sleep.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Dear Village Idiot,

I would like to respond to village idiot's comments made to my previous post:

The longest we have been apart was 2 almost 3 weeks... it was when my father was having a stem cell transplant that went very wrong. He was in and out of ICU and isolation and I lived with him as one of his primary caregivers in the hospital.
The above was after Max was born. Max was 18 months old.
Not very often.
He is not happy about this either. He knows that this is going to be difficult but we also know that this will benefit us in the long run when it concerns his work.

My husband is very very supportive and attentive when it comes to me and my children. I love him to death! My angst concerning his upcoming trip is not towards him... it is towards myself. I am not the most patient person in the world and I have managed to program myself with a system that includes him saving me at the end of the day. I now know that this system has it's faults and I am going to be forced to revamp this system very quickly or else I am going to lose my mind!

Things to do in Denver when you are Dead

Does anyone have suggestions for my husband concerning what to do in Denver when you are dead? Cause that is what he is gonna be... dead!
Yes, my husband is off the Denver for 2 weeks for work leaving me with a 2 year old and a 6 week old... all by myself. And not only is it 2 weeks, it is the last 2 weeks of my maternity leave! And it doesn't help that he is so excited to leave that he started packing yesterday even though he doesn't leave until Sunday!
Now I know that there are many women out there who do it all the time. My sister is doing it right now with 3 kids... but I didn't sign up for this! I stayed married to my husband with a local job so I wouldn't have to deal with life in this manner.
I have to be honest... I am petrified at the up coming prospect of this trip for him. I usually can make it through the day because I know that Mike will be home soon to save me from losing my mind from a two year old, who, (though adorable) is still TWO! I have not managed to conquer the art of maintaining a schedule for a two year old while staying free and open to a six week old who has no idea what a schedule is! And since Mr. Free and Open is priority, guess who gets in on the deal? I don't think Max has taken a nap before 3 once during this time, which pushes his bedtime back to 10 or 11 o'clock at night! We tried the whole skip the nap and go to bed early trick once and it back fired with a well rested two year old waking up from his "nap" at 11 o'clock! And again I emphasize, WE... not I... WE tried. What the hell am I gonna do trying to really force the subject of a schedule since we are heading back to a more rigid schedule in two weeks.
FOR THE RECORD: I know that I am being over-dramatic and unrealistic. I know that we are going to be just fine and I am even going to enjoy moments of this. I am just pouting. I do not like doing things that I HAVE TO DO. I hate obligation in any form.
Gotta go.. just heard what is left of Max's breakfast hit the floor... at least it is tile and not carpet....
See... I am already seeing the silver lining through my pouting cloudy outlook!

Monday, January 17, 2005

Max at Na Na Linda's house on New Year's Day Posted by Hello

Don't ya wanna eat those cheeks? Posted by Hello

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Did you know....

Did you know that baby wipes remove nail polish from the sweet cherub cheeks of two year olds?
How did those cherub cheeks get painted, you ask? The little devils behind those cherub cheeks.
These two little devils were playing way to quietly. I holler for them and out comes Kaitlyn, my neice with hot pink cheeks. Upon closer inspection we realize she hasn't gotten into my make-up... she has gotten into my nail polish!! And to continue the Randall-Matula women's trend for beauty perfection, she has picked out a beautiful shade of peach to match Max's red hair and painted his cheeks!
1st time shame on mommy...
2nd time... shame on mommy and call CPS...
Yes... I didn't learn my lesson. The next day, once again it was way too quiet and we started to smell nail polish again.. only this time it looks like they have committed murder and hid the body in our back room. The only evidence we have is the red paint all over them and the slashes and smears all over the walls in our back room. Yes... the one Mike just painted.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Sending Love, Light, and Prayers

A very hard goodbye and see ya later to my brother-in-law Kenneth who is off to Iraq for who knows how long. He and my sister Karen came to the tough decision to better their family's life through Kenneth taking a job with KBR in Iraq. He will be driving the large tanker trucks for 14 hours a day 7 days a week in a coalition convoy south of Bahgdad.
We are going to miss him more than words.
Please send good thoughts for a safe voyage and return. Though I may not have made the same decision for our lives, I will never stop loving and supporting my beloved family.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

The 700 Club

Thanks for coming to visit just this one time or all the times that you have come to visit. I know that my measly 700 hits does not compete with those who have thousands, but I am kind of proud of my little blog following.
I can honestly say that most of my blogs are written in the heat of purging. I don't think about what I have posted until I come back later and think, "Oh my goodness... why did I share that?" or "I hope people don't take that the wrong way!" or "Who the hell cares about that?" life's thoughts and experiences over the past 4 months have been shared here with no major complaints from the peanut gallery. I have never kept a journal this long so that in itself is a major accomplishment for me. I think I have 2 boxes full of beautiful journals that I have purchased since puberty with the intention of self therapy through journaling. Who knew that I would accomplish so much more through group therapy blogging. I call it group therapy because part of this process is not just writing here, but visiting others to read their stories.
It's funny... I came in here in a rage after a long day, just wanting to escape for awhile so that I do not pick a fight with my husband,(a favorite past time when I am in a tizzy). It was then when I looked at my site and saw that I hit 700 and started this blog, and I am already starting to breathe a little deeper and forget what wound me up in the first place.
Group therapy is good....
Hi, my name is Rebecca, but most call me Becky.
I am a lifeaholic.
This is my blog therapy.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

My love/hate relationship with Target

I would never be able to boycott something that I didn't already hate in the first place. I should boycott Target for the way that I have been treated lately, but I just can't. Target is my Neiman Marcus or Lord and Taylor. It is the place I go to when I need to decorate my home, my family, myself. I even grocery shop there occasionally even though I think there selection isn't the greatest and it is priced a little high. I have spent quite a large percentage of my income there over the years. I registered there for my wedding and the upcoming arrivals of both my sons... SO WHY WOULD THEY TREAT ME WITH SUCH DISRESPECT????
So last Thursday night we went there to return a few gifts that we had not returned yet, and get a few items that we needed. I know the drill... in order to get your money you have to have a copy of the registry. I go the kiosk and get my registry... "Please wait while we print your request".....
..... "That kiosk isn't working" says a manager as she passes by after seeing me wait for 5 minutes. (Put a damn sign up if you know it is not working!!!!)

Okay moving to the next kiosk..."Please wait while we print your request"....
............"Does it normally take this long?" I ask the man behind the customer service counter. He turns to the oh so helpful manager who then says, "sometimes it takes a while."
"Hello.... could this one not be working, too? Is there any way you can do this without the printout?"
Manager, "Yes... but you would get the discounted price."
Me, "I do not understand why I am being penalized for your machines not working"
Manager, "We need the printout"
Me, losing it and almost about to hit her because I am trying to do this quickly before my 1 month old and 2 year old explode.."I can't get the printout because your machines are not working...does your computer over there see the registry?"
Manager, "No."
Me, "What is the difference?"
Manager, "$0.60"
Me, "Mike, you deal with it"
I could not believe this CUSTOMER SERVICE MANAGER was fighting me over 60 cents!!!! I walked away in total disgust and anger... I could feel my blood pumping through my temples... I had forgotten what we were there to get in the first place.
We walk through the store getting whatever items we needed and get to the checkout stand. She checks everything out and I give here the receipt they had given Mike for the items we returned.
Cashier, " I am sorry ma'am... This is an exchange receipt not a return receipt. You have to take the items you are exchanging back to customer service"
It took everything in my power not to climb the proverbial bell tower and hose down everyone in the store.
But wait the universe is still giggling(to quote my good friend, Emily). The meat we got was bad and we are going to have to return it.
If you see a story on the 10 o'clock news about a lady holding a customer service manager hostage at the Hwy 59 and Hwy 6 Target, you'll know the return didn't go well....

Friday, January 07, 2005

This is ridiculous....

So I am taking a few moments to wander the internet while Max eats lunch and Ben takes a nap when I come across an article about a public service announcement in Gaza starring Richard Gere urging Palestinians to get out and vote this Sunday in their elections.
Are you joking me??
I cannot believe the arrogance. There were meetings about this PSA. Several people joined in the conversation whether or not this was a good idea. How could people have thought this was a good idea?
Dear Actors of Hollywood:
Please let me take this opportunity to thank you for entertaining us for so many years. I actually pay money to see you pretend to be other people. I have no interest whatsoever to see you (or those close to you) spend that money to tell us how the world should be run. If you want to move me to action pay the writers of your next movie little more to put in a great monologue that makes me jump up to join the peace corps or give money to those who do.
And for God's sake... and I really do mean GOD... please don't start going to other countries around the world. They hate us enough without a man who played a rich millionaire who hires a prostitute for companionship urging a country who already disrespects women telling them they should go out and vote...IN ENGLISH! I can only thank God that they more than likely don't speak English and have no idea who he is in the first place.
P.S. I am so glad that you have enough time and cash to spend giving to those in need, but please don't turn it into headlines. I think little Jimmy giving all of his allowance is more news worthy than you shaving off a lousy 1-5% of your massive net worth. And don't go to these places to "boost moral" and use what little resources are available in the first place unless you plan to stay awhile and change a few bed pans, administer a few shots and hold the children as they bury their own parents who have been rotting along the street for a week.

I am going to get off my soap box now, because I know there are others who need the wood.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

I am enough

What a great feeling... I am enough.
Have you ever said that to yourself in a mirror? I mean really looked yourself in the eye and said..."I am enough!"
Right now I have the wonderful opportunity to be the most important thing in soemone's life with absolutely no question. I do not want to make it sound like I think I am not important in my husband, family or friends' lives, I know that I am loved and needed. But with Ben, I am his world. I am his nourishment, his comfort. I am all he needs. I am enough.
What a great feeling!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Why do men have nipples?

After the past few days of marathon nursing, I look at my husband who is about to get into the shower and I ask the universe... why do men have nipples? What a joke! I mean, was there a time when men helped to nurse the offspring? If so, why did it stop? Just once I would like my husband to feel the joy of spending 1-2 hours nursing to then have 15 minutes to do whatever you can cram into 15 minutes before your baby starts stirring for more. I know that we are in the 3 week growth spurt and Ben is just trying to bring some more milk in, but he has also gotten used to using me as a pacifier. The problem is, he refuses a substitute pacifier. I have tried and tried to stick that precious gold into his mouth, but he, like my first son, refuses. So I am living on advil for sore nipples and pleading with my son to at least try to use a pacifier.
I am real close to attaching Ben to Mike's nipple while he sleeps since Ben isn't looking for milk... just warmth and something to suck.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

What a year

I have been trying to post this blog for about 4 days. It hurts to leave last year. It was a very intense year that I will never forget. Even though I brought one amazing little man into the world, I feel like I am leaving one amazing man behind.
My family didn't get to catch our breath this year, and to be honest I do not know what we would have done if we had been given the chance to catch our breath. Sometimes it is just best to take the hits and keep on running, because when you stop, you realize just how much pain you are in.
I have tried several times to write about the details of my father's death and I am almost ready, but I just can't seem to get through the process without breaking down. It is kind of like Pandora's box. I have managed to get it placed in the box in order to function in my everyday life, but I am still not able to share the contents of the box. So here is a quick re-cap to place in the record books so that I can clean the slate for this year:
Mom and Dad move into their new smaller house just streets away from the old one. Karen, my sister, announces to everyone's surprise (including hers) that she is pregnant with her third child, obviously not planned, but welcomed with opened arms.
My dad decides to go with a very risky, experimental treatment for his brain cancer. It consists of him having his own stem cells harvested and saved, given very high toxic levels of several chemo's to kill basically every cell in his body,then his own stem cells are given back to him to re-build his body. It is a month long process that has only been attempted on a few people with his illness and never attempted here in Houston. We are with him 24-7 for three weeks due to complications, but he manages to pull through.
Mike and I had decided that we wanted our children to be at least 2 years apart, so we decide to let nature take it's course. Max decides to catch the very contagious roto virus which has us up for several nights with severe vomiting, very high fever and one night in the ER for dehydration. Shortly there after I think I too have managed to catch the bug.
I did not catch the bug, I am growing a little bug in my tummy. We find out that I am pregnant. We thought nature would take a little longer to take its course, but we were wrong. My dad starts to head downhill. The risky treatment did not work, the cancer has attached itself to facial nerves causing severe pain and yet more time in the hospital. He starts radiation again.
Dad just continues to get worse. Radiation manages to zap the new areas that keep popping up, but he never really fully recovered from the February chemo. His body is not producing enough blood and the cancer keeps spreading. We are told, "We are running out of options..."
My father has lost the ability to use his arms and legs and is totally dependent on us. We decide to stop chasing options and help my father to leave as peacefully and painlessly as possible. He is transferred to Houston Hospice. My mother, sister and I held him in his bed as he left this world on June 10th. It was the hardest most beautiful moment I have ever experienced in my life. We buried him on June 14th, the day before my parents' 36th wedding anniversary.
Karen starts to have complications with her pregnancy and is taken off work and put in and out of the hospital to keep an eye on her liver functions.
Karen gives birth to Konner Thomas on August 9th.
I get news that my best friend, Tiff, and her husband, Shaun, are pregnant with their 1st child and so are good friends, Pablo and Jenny. I start this blog!
Halloween... and all it's preparations, enough said. Allison and Emily host a wonderful baby shower to help us prepare for Ben's arrival.
Max turns 2 and I get put on bed rest for complications in my own pregnancy.
Benjamin Thomas arrives December 8th. Holiday preparations and celebrations with family and friends. Emily and I host a shower for Tiffanie and Shaun. Mike and I spend New Year's Eve with a hyper 2 year old who won't go to sleep and and a three week old who is on a 3 hour nursing marathon even though I try to explain to him that I am not his New Year's Eve keg!

God blessed us in many ways this past year, sometimes obviously and sometimes behind the scenes. I hope and pray that He continues to bless us in the new year to come, for all our family and friends.

Gold bless you all and Happy New Year!