Sunday, January 02, 2005

What a year

I have been trying to post this blog for about 4 days. It hurts to leave last year. It was a very intense year that I will never forget. Even though I brought one amazing little man into the world, I feel like I am leaving one amazing man behind.
My family didn't get to catch our breath this year, and to be honest I do not know what we would have done if we had been given the chance to catch our breath. Sometimes it is just best to take the hits and keep on running, because when you stop, you realize just how much pain you are in.
I have tried several times to write about the details of my father's death and I am almost ready, but I just can't seem to get through the process without breaking down. It is kind of like Pandora's box. I have managed to get it placed in the box in order to function in my everyday life, but I am still not able to share the contents of the box. So here is a quick re-cap to place in the record books so that I can clean the slate for this year:
Mom and Dad move into their new smaller house just streets away from the old one. Karen, my sister, announces to everyone's surprise (including hers) that she is pregnant with her third child, obviously not planned, but welcomed with opened arms.
My dad decides to go with a very risky, experimental treatment for his brain cancer. It consists of him having his own stem cells harvested and saved, given very high toxic levels of several chemo's to kill basically every cell in his body,then his own stem cells are given back to him to re-build his body. It is a month long process that has only been attempted on a few people with his illness and never attempted here in Houston. We are with him 24-7 for three weeks due to complications, but he manages to pull through.
Mike and I had decided that we wanted our children to be at least 2 years apart, so we decide to let nature take it's course. Max decides to catch the very contagious roto virus which has us up for several nights with severe vomiting, very high fever and one night in the ER for dehydration. Shortly there after I think I too have managed to catch the bug.
I did not catch the bug, I am growing a little bug in my tummy. We find out that I am pregnant. We thought nature would take a little longer to take its course, but we were wrong. My dad starts to head downhill. The risky treatment did not work, the cancer has attached itself to facial nerves causing severe pain and yet more time in the hospital. He starts radiation again.
Dad just continues to get worse. Radiation manages to zap the new areas that keep popping up, but he never really fully recovered from the February chemo. His body is not producing enough blood and the cancer keeps spreading. We are told, "We are running out of options..."
My father has lost the ability to use his arms and legs and is totally dependent on us. We decide to stop chasing options and help my father to leave as peacefully and painlessly as possible. He is transferred to Houston Hospice. My mother, sister and I held him in his bed as he left this world on June 10th. It was the hardest most beautiful moment I have ever experienced in my life. We buried him on June 14th, the day before my parents' 36th wedding anniversary.
Karen starts to have complications with her pregnancy and is taken off work and put in and out of the hospital to keep an eye on her liver functions.
Karen gives birth to Konner Thomas on August 9th.
I get news that my best friend, Tiff, and her husband, Shaun, are pregnant with their 1st child and so are good friends, Pablo and Jenny. I start this blog!
Halloween... and all it's preparations, enough said. Allison and Emily host a wonderful baby shower to help us prepare for Ben's arrival.
Max turns 2 and I get put on bed rest for complications in my own pregnancy.
Benjamin Thomas arrives December 8th. Holiday preparations and celebrations with family and friends. Emily and I host a shower for Tiffanie and Shaun. Mike and I spend New Year's Eve with a hyper 2 year old who won't go to sleep and and a three week old who is on a 3 hour nursing marathon even though I try to explain to him that I am not his New Year's Eve keg!

God blessed us in many ways this past year, sometimes obviously and sometimes behind the scenes. I hope and pray that He continues to bless us in the new year to come, for all our family and friends.

Gold bless you all and Happy New Year!

1 comment:

Em said...

Okay - just reading this made me exhausted - and I only lived bits and pieces of it!

I love you and admire you so much!