*First - I apologize in advance if I offend anyone – my
teacher friends in particular. I am
open to healthy debate with people who have differing opinions. I understand my thoughts here are biased and
riddled with past experiences that cloud my objectivity.
* Second – I am so
done with talking about this, year after year, I don’t even want to hear myself. I wish I could just let it be. Take my position on the subject (which is
likely the minority), own it, and stand facing the hurricane force winds
without falling over in submission… but I can’t.
Max… reading… school… teacher….
DONE.WITH.THIS.CONVERSATION.
The latest round occurred this afternoon:
Max: Mommy!! Mommy!!
I need you to fill out this form!
I filled out the top part, but you have to fill out the bottom! My Teacher said she wants 100%
PARTICIPATION!!! Mommy I need this by
tomorrow.
I take the handout from Max and vaguely remember getting
another form similar to it at the beginning of the school year. I admit it… I didn’t read it… I glanced, I
read “the majority” (of the article), I placed it among the other 10-15 pages
of information regarding the new soccer program I could sign Max up for, the
“does your child qualify for reduced or free lunch” survey, and every pink,
blue, and yellow form that comes home in every kid’s folder but almost never
has anything to do with my child. This
form is one of many that have come home this year with *new* and *exciting*
enrichment programs for parents.
Seminars on how to prepare for middle school, requests for DADS to
volunteer during the school year, etc.
I immediately shuddered when I realized it was another
reading log – neat columns and rows for 7 days a week – 30 minutes a day –
detail what you read – parent’s signature. I hate these forms with all my
might. Only this time, I didn’t realize
it was not Max’s form… it was MY FORM.
F.R.E.D. – Families Read Every Day.
This was not Max’s 30 minute reading log, it was an additional log for
us to read together for 30 minutes a
day.
Read comic books / magazines / books out loud to your child
Write a play and read it together
Read and prepare a new recipe
Write the lyrics to your favorite song and sing it together
Do the people who make
these things up really believe themselves?!?!
Then I was supposed to evaluate the program (check all that
apply) – I feel closer to my child, I feel this enriched the quality of our
time together, I feel my child is better in Math, I feel my child’s vocabulary
has expanded, etc.
“Mommy!!! The Teacher says we HAVE TO HAVE 100%
PARTICIPATION”
Max had gone through and written 30 minutes for every slot,
every day, for 5 weeks.
I couldn’t do it. I
couldn’t fill out the form “just cause”.
“Mommy!! Please!!!”
I took a deep breath.
I was bubbling with anger. I
don’t need homework. I don’t need your
help to parent my child. I will not be graded.
I will not be judged.
Breathe…. Step away from the ledge. What are you really upset about here?
Max – I am not going to lie.
We did not do this. I understand
that you have been promised something if everyone turns in this piece of paper,
but I can’t. I will write Ms. Medina a
note. I will explain that even though we
did not do this specific plan, we do read and we are making sure that we are
working on this because it is important.
Do you understand? We cannot
fill out the form and turn it in for a pizza party (or whatever), because that
is lying.
Sad face.
DAMNIT!!! DAMNIT!!
DAMNIT!!!
I am DONE WITH THE READING THING!!! There!! I said it. I hate it.
It is NOT the most important thing in the world. It is not the focus of all that dictates the
success/failure of a student. I hated
reading. HATED IT!! If you FORCED ME to READ SOMETHING I assure you,
I remember NONE OF IT. These
forms/logs/programs do nothing but make people who are not readers hate it even
more. Guess what… I am not a reader, but
I am a successful business person who has been successful in a variety of
jobs/fields. I know people who have
surrounded themselves with books, but can’t hold a job or get out of bed in the
morning. I can read. I can write. Have I read even 5-10% of the top 100 books
of all time? Nope.
I am not sure how I am going to survive parenting in today’s
world when it comes to my children’s education.
I cannot handle that 1 study or point of view then dictates how ALL
children are supposed to learn. I cannot
handle that the way children are taught today is largely focused on how to take
the tests. Math isn’t about facts – it’s
about averaging and estimating.
Why? Because it takes too long to
actually do 1476 + 273. But if you round
to 1500 and 300 – then you can figure out the answer closest to 1800 and pick
that answer from the multiple choice.
You don’t learn complex problem solving, but you do learn test taking.
See, dear teacher/school administration, I get it. I see what is happening. I know your intentions are true. I know you don’t come up with these
programs. I know the difference between
your project and the programs that are coming from the muckity mucks in the
admin buildings 20 miles away from the school.
The important people who went to the latest and greatest conference on
child development but haven’t touched foot in a classroom for 15 years (or
ever).
I will support the
hell out of the cloud science project. I
am with you when you tell me my child races through the tests and he doesn’t
check his work. I know not to get mad when the test score is low because he
didn’t understand the concept and when to take privileges away because he went
too fast and he missed questions or forgot to answer them.
But I will be damned if you pull me into your studies on
parent enrichment and grade my parenting based on a log that tells you
nothing. That log doesn’t tell you that
we were out late cheering his brother at a scrimmage, so no, we didn’t
read. If we had stayed up late reading
then the child who needs his sleep would have been worthless in your class the
next day. The log doesn’t tell you we
decided to take a family walk and talk about what it is going to be like to
walk to middle school next year, and be away from his friends since they are
going to different schools. That log
doesn’t tell you that in this fast paced world filled with electronic
distractions and mind numbing noise, my almost 11 year old still comes down –
every morning – to snuggle before the day officially starts.
Thanks for the 1 page tool with vague instructions on how to
bond with my student and make him a better reader. No – your little 1 page form did not make my
child better the past 5 weeks. We
did. My husband and I did. We got this.
We will have our own pizza party at home.
