Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Silver linings in gray clouds

I believe you attract what you need, not necessarily what you want. I am blessed to be able to count the 5 most important women in my life on the one hand that I hold each of them so precious, like beautiful sea shells I have found on the beach. These 5 women have played such a remarkable role in my journey of life, sometimes holding a mirror up to my face, sometimes carrying me when the burden has been to great, sometimes holding up the margarita glass and reminding me to stop and smell the limes.

A very dark situation occurred this weekend. It was your typical “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment. The information that came out in this situation was not new, but the delivery of the information and the reaction was very new. As I have said in this blog over the past few months, there is something different in my thinking, a significant shift in how I am choosing to live my life, the choices I make, and the level of tolerance and acceptance that I am willing to deal with when it comes to my life. So rather than let this dark situation just “blow over” only to head out to sea to gain strength and create a storm which will reappear with the same destructive thunder, lightening and hail, I chose to stand up and say… I am not playing this game anymore…. I am choosing to pick up my toys and head in the house so that I don’t keep getting wet, cold, and miserable every time the same storm comes ashore.

An interesting under-current to this situation is related to my right hand ladies….. Of the 5 women, the situation is directly related to one of them, and by 11:00 pm yesterday, I had spoken to the other four. Here are the shoulders that I leaned on while I am trying to get clarity in this situation:

One of these women has a very big stake in the outcome. Her happiness is directly related to our happiness, always has and always will. She has been the peacekeeper, the moderator, the keeping a cool head police all my life. This is the person I most want to please in the situation. She is the person whom it is hardest to speak to right now because for her - I do just want to let it all blow over because I know that it will make her happy. Her grace for forgiveness and acceptance is greater than the oceans.

The next woman reminded me that there are times in our lives where it is deal or no deal. There are somethings that you must stop in order to save the snowflake from turning into an avalanche, the longer you wait, the more damage it can cause. Tough love sucks, but in the long run the results are worth it.

Another women reminded me that there are opportunities in every situation to grow and learn from. Change is not easy, especially when you are the only one who wants to change. She reminded me that in order to change the future, you must look to the past, take the experience and leave the trash, and always look to the light.

The last woman reminded me that you can’t force a person to change their spots if they have no intention of going to the salon. She asked me how much I am willing to sacrifice in this situation in order to force a horse to a watering hole they can’t see. Were the sacrifices worth the results?

Blessed – truly blessed by these women’s presence in my life. They bring a balance to my life that compares to no other. One has brought me to an opportunity for growth, one is mediating, one is reminding me of my strength, one is reminding me to stay true to the path, and one is reminding me not to get lost in the details and sacrifice too much.

Thank you – to each and every blessed one of you………

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