Psst ... I have a secret...

So a big deal is about to happen – for me – a really big deal. I have decided to have a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I have been planning, prepping, and praying for months. I was approved through my insurance and my surgery will be this Thursday, May 5th.

I am excited, terrified, cautious, happy, sad, shamed, proud….etc etc. It was a terribly hard decision to come to, but after almost 2 years, I am finally at peace with this decision. It is what is best for me.

Two years ago, I knew things needed to change – in a serious life changing way. At first I was very shallow about it. I was serious, but I would rather become famous and audition for The Biggest Loser, rather than do the hard day to day, deep soul searching changes. By the time it was clear that Biggest Loser was not calling, I knew this was going to have to be done with my own sweat and tears.

My husband and I made major changes – joined the YMCA, everything was changed to whole wheat and lean turkey – fresh vegetables and fruits – more subway less McDonald’s. It was slow, but steady – and yes – the weight was coming off, but so frustratingly slow that it was hard to maintain the momentum. I knew I could maintain a healthy lifestyle – but the restrictive getting the weight off phase was terribly slow and unsuccessful. That was when I started looking into possible weight loss surgery. At first, it was a deal breaker, because last year, our insurance would not cover it. But Jan 1st, new policy, new opportunity, new me.

I decided not to share because, even though I was going through the extensive process for insurance approval – I was certain I was not going to get approved. Yes – I am over weight – but I had no other health issues. No diabetes, no hypertension, no sleep apnea – nothing. I am a healthy plus size person – if that is such a thing. But I knew, if I don’t make these changes now– it would only be a matter of time.

Well – I was approved. I cried when I hung up the phone after receiving the news. Tiffanie (who has known all along) said – ya know, you are going to have to say something! I said, I know – it is not like I am trying to be Star Jones about this, but I am certainly not going to be Carnie Wilson and invite a webcam into the operating room!

So there you have it – three more days – Happy Cinco de Mayo to me!!