Two new Max Stories...

Story # 1 - This morning Max was clearly suffering from a little cabin fever. He has seen enough TV, could care less about his DS, has no interest in his legos. I am working on the Christmas decorations when he flops himself on the couch in the formal living room and says (totally straight face),
Mommy... I need to get wet...
What?
I need to get wet.. I am drying up.
Uhm, okay - well... you can't get into the pool, the water is too cold.
Well.. I need a bath or a shower or something... I am drying up.
Okay....

So I stopped what I was doing and drew him a bath where he sat and "moistened" for a while. I guess my child is turning into a fish. And no that is not a pic of Max - he has not turned into a small Asian dark haired child!




Story # 2 - Last night we were watching Land of the Lost - the new one. And the Will Farrell character kept referring to a "sideways" warp in time where past present and future are there all at the same time. So we are sitting there watching when all of a sudden Max goes:

Wait wait wait - pause it, pause it, pause it, I got it... there are three things, get it??? three things - past, present, and future. So the dinosaurs are our past, the humans are our present and the aliens are the future! And that is why there is always three moons in the back!!! New moon- past, crescent moon - present, full moon - future!! See past present and future moons!!!! Get it?!?! Get it?!?!

Well, Max, I am glad you are paying that much attention to this movie, because I assure you, mommy and daddy are not!!

Happy 9th Anniversary!

Big wet juicy smooches to my loving Tatala who agreed to get gussied up and wear a tuxedo and pledge his love to me forever and ever 9 years ago today!!

I love you,
Princess P.

2012 vs Precious

So this weekend I had the rare - and I mean rare - opportunity to see two movies in the same weekend - AT THE MOVIE THEATER. This is shocking in my world as most times I see a movie in the theater maybe once a year and it is usually animated, so this was quite a treat.
Friday night - 2012. Start the night off squashing into a building packed with terribly cool and overly hormonal teens making that sucking, tongue clicking sound of disgust as the "SOLD OUT" stamp keeps going over the New Moon movie times - "Ugh, like, what do we do now?!?!?"... but I digress...... so in line, get the tickets - head to the theater and sure enough - this theater is packed too - I am assuming it is the parents of said teens, but this is just the story I make up in my brain for shits and giggles. So - find seats - sit down and realize, yes, I am going to have to spend the next three hours next to the woman who wore too much perfume for her first date with the guy who keeps getting up and down (sir, there are medicines that can help you with that going/growing problem) and above the guy who likes to talk through movies - I know this because he turned around and said - "Hey - do you like to talk in movies, cause I like to talk in movies!"

...great....

Movie starts. Well - you can pretty much forget about any outside distractions in this movie. WOW. To say this movie is visually stunning is an understatement. And loud - but good loud - like you are so invested in the visual and sound that you have no choice but to pay attention to the screen. There is no mind wandering here. Now - the story can be terribly predictable and somewhat schmaltzy, but you expect that in a Hollywood epic like this. I forgave the schmaltz because of all those beautiful sequences that were brought to life on screen - I can only imagine how amazing this would have looked on an IMAX. I am not giving anything away here (see movie poster above) - there is one sequence where my prediction that California will eventually fall off into the ocean does just that. It starts with a man opening a car door and you see the asphalt crack and it leads you on this 15 minute journey as the movie slowly pulls back the audience perspective - crack leads to houses crumbling, leads to city blocks crashing, leads to neighborhoods sinking, leads to cities disappearing, leads to final shot of California slowly slipping under the foam of the Pacific Ocean. Like WOW - I am not sure I took a breath during that sequence - WOW. The movie ends with this happy resolution music and I turn to my husband and say - "what the hell is the happy music for?!?!? WE ARE ALL DEAD?!?! How is that happy resolution??!?" This minor meltdown leads to laughter three rows up and three rows down... I guess I like to talk in movies too.....

Sunday night - Precious.

Precious - Precious - Precious - Precious.

No - I didn't see it four times - not sure I could. Just as the visually stunning moments of the impending doom in 2012 made me sick to my stomach, this movie made me sick to my stomach with disgust. Disgust at the reality that abuse - evil abuses - as shown in the movie Precious happen everyday in homes all around us. Children everywhere suffer in pain with no idea that a better world exists and that they are in fact precious. There are moments in this film that had me gasping, grabbing the armrests of my seat and trying to get up in shock of what I was witnessing. And I wish I could say that they had over dramatized some of these moments with "dramatic liberties" but that was not the case. There was a great amount of truth in the everyday casual manner that dialogue was delivered and the verbal blows that cut so deep. It hurt deep to hear another human being in the process of being verbally whipped into submission and oppression. It stung your eyes to see the emotional scares and baggage this young woman carried as a result of her hopeless situation. Tough to watch, but well worth the journey.

Two movies - one weekend. One movie about changing the world one person at a time, one movie about changing the world by wiping it clean. I am not sure which of the two was the least overwhelming.

How is it possible...?

How is it possible that on the same day - within 10 minutes of each other - there are two news stories so related yet so polarizing.

We start with news of a soldier arrested for not deploying with her fellow troops because she had no one to watch her 10 month old child. Her child plans, which she is obligated to have by the military, fell through, and she was advised to surrender her child to foster care. Rather than do that - she stayed behind and she was arrested and now her child is in foster care anyway.

We move to a story of a mother arrested on the day her child is found dead in a wooded area. The woman is being charged with selling her 5 year old child into sex slavery.

Two women - two mothers. One serving her country and refusing to abandon her child. One living off of her country who abandoned her child in the most horrific way. Both now in jail.

Two stories.... 10 minutes... how is this possible.....

Dear Spam,

I hate you.

I mean I really really hate you.

I mean there is cold dark place in hell for you to stand on your head in a pile of s&%$ kind of hate.

As far as I am concerned, you are punishable by jail because of the constant harassment.

I do not wish to increase my penis size.
I do not care to buy prescription drugs from Canada.
I have no need for Viagra 75% off.
I will not be buying CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP Rolex's for Christmas.
You cannot fool me into clicking HERE to update my account info for the Bank of Tanzania, Facebook, or a returned IRS Tax return.
I do not wish to buy a degree in any field.
We did not chat online and get interrupted, or whatever.
I do not wish to buy a foreign bride, look at naked women, or men dressed as women, or barely legal teens, etc, etc, etc.
I know you are not giving away free laptops.
I know your software is illegal.
And what the hell does "ugfhgb jidlh jhlhoyehfabb hahorbadf jrouerqhe ..." mean anyway and who in their right mind would press the underlined link in an email like that anyway?!?!?!

You are all a*^%*%oles......all of you. I am so tired of spending a good chunk of my day going line by line deleting you and trying to sort your bulls&*%$ from actual important business emails. I can't even use anti-spam programs because we are a medical industry business so what I would use to block you could potentially block important business emails. I cannot change my email accounts because these are published emails and it would only be a matter of time before I am sold on another phishing list.

Bite me.... spam... you can bite me... if I don't bite you first.

Best Regards,
Bitch@pissedoff.com

Pajama Day

Okay... not a full blown, never get out of pajamas day - but close. House is being de-Halloween-i-fied. Other than that, not much else is gong on. I am taking the time to enjoy my quiet moments as I know that from now until January, these quiet moments are few and far between....is it me or do you already smell the Turkey in the oven for Thanksgiving?

I have a you-tube of Halloween - pics and video... but for some reason it doesn't want to play nice today and link to here or Facebook, so I will try tomorrow.....

...Oh Happy Fall!!!