Public Toilet Seats

I have just about had it...
I am sick of you ladies... and you know who you are... Ladies who (as my mama would say) "sound like a cow pissing on a flat rock"....ladies who are so scared to sit on public toilet seats because your ass germs are so much more sacred than the rest of us... so much so that the reason it is disgusting to sit on public toilet seats is beacuse of those of you who hover ten feet off the ground and spray your sacred ass germs all over the seat! And you know it is you... because if it had been the remains of the dirty ass who sat on the seat, it would be smeared... but no... it is a perfect round freshly laid bubble of sacred ass germ, straight from your ass.... the ass that has just walked away thankful that her sacred ass didn't get contaminated with dirty germs, but who has no concern to turn around, check for her own sacred germs, and WIPE THE SEAT!!
.. Goodness gracious, no.... then those dirty germs might touch those sacred hands that you didn't bother to wash when you grabbed the handle of the door to walk out of the bathroom with your sacred ass germs all over them ....

SIT...YOUR...ASS...DOWN......(on pretty paper laid delicatly on the seat if you have to...)