Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I don't need your help, Ben

Oh the hard times of two growing little boys.

One of the things that I am damn near pulling my hair out in frustration, is teaching the fundamental life long lesson of "following directions" to my oldest son, my sweet adorable boundary testing 5 year old.

His father and I have come to tantrums when trying to get Max to follow directions. We will not put the bat down and he refuses to stop throwing us curve balls. I know he knows the difference, because when threats are given, magically the behavior stops... but only temporarily. So in the grand picture these souls have been brought together to learn our lessons, his obedience and ours is patience.

Lately, this conversation comes to great melt downs on the way home from school. Mostly because we are all tired and unable to keep calm and collected. There is lots of crying and yelling and condescending talk... all things that I am not proud of, but I am getting to the end of my rope. And it does not help that I suddenly find myself on a board of executioners mid conversation when my brown nosing little 3yr old decides that when I am trying to collect my thoughts and count to 10, it is his turn to start in on his brother....Mommy says stop it... you unnnerstand?!?!?!? After I advise Ben that I am the mommy and I do not need his help, he Jekyll and Hyde's it to his sweet personality and advises me that HE is not doing whatever it is that I am currently accusing Max of..."Mommy... I no talk back to you" or "Mommy, I just sit here and catch a bubble."

Well last night, once again, we are faced with the same conversation. Max's teacher sent home a note asking that we discuss the importance of following directions in class.... great, what I thought was only a family battle has moved into the school. So I tell him what the note says and advise him we are going to talk about this, young man!!! I tell him to stand outside Ben's class, while I step in and get Ben. I come out and he is gone. I walk around the corner and see him in the lobby reaching into the snack basket. I advise him to get his hand out of there and get into the car and put his seat belt on, NOW. We get in the car and I inform him that he will eat dinner by himself at the kitchen table, go straight to shower time and straight to bed as soon as we get home..... he will learn this lesson even if it means he never sees TV again and he loses access to all of his toys. I start to go into a tirade that his teacher is upset with him, Mommy is upset with him, Daddy is upset with him..... and very loud from the backseat comes..."And BEN is very upsef wif YOU!!!!"

Thank you, Ben... but I do not need your help.

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