Friday, August 01, 2008

Goodbyes suck....

So today is the last day Max and Ben will be at the only school they have every known. It is the place they have been since they were babies. Even when we moved 20 minutes away, we chose to keep them at the same school because it was just that great to us and it was still on my way to and from work, so a little detour was worth it. But now that Max is starting kindergarten, we have to change to a place that can bus him to and from public school. We found a place that is literally less than a mile from our house, so they will transition there starting Monday. We wanted to have a few weeks before school started so Max could have the chance to make friends with the same kids that he will be going to school with this year.

I started talking about this change shortly after Max's graduation. We would drive by Max's elementary and the new daycare and IO would point it out and the boys would ask questions, but it would quickly pass to a different conversation. Then last week we stopped by the new daycare and walked around and let them play on the new playground, just so they could see the place before being left, and they were excited, they wanted to start right away... No... 2 weeks.... you will start here in 2 weeks.....

Beginning of this week, Max asked if he could have a goodbye celebration at school and bring flowers to all the teachers. I said we could pick up a nice cake and cards for the teachers and that seemed to satisfy him. Everyday he was a little more anxious - is today the last day? No - 3 more days... oh, okay....

Well, last night, I was making the cards for the teachers. I had taken a bunch of pictures of them since birth and collage them into a thank you card. They were both very excited and loved looking at the cards. The next thing you know, Max's mood shifts and he sits down and says,
Mommy... I just want to go to work with you tomorrow.
Let's just drop off the cake and cards and then... I don't wanna stay.. uhm... I just wanna go to work with you.
(The anxiety of goodbye was weighing very heavy on him)
Oh, honey... don't you wanna play with your friends and say goodbye?
No mommy (almost in tears) can't we just leave it and go?
Oh, pumpkin, goodbyes are so hard, I know they are, but ya gotta tell people how much you are going to miss them and let them know how happy you are to have them as a friend. And we will try to come and visit when we can...
Everyday? Will we visit everyday?
We can't visit everyday.
Every 3 days?
Oh honey - we will visit when we can.

This morning was a mix of anxiety and excitement. Anxious to say goodbye and excited to present the big cake to the teachers and hand out their special cards. For me, it was very important to let these people know how grateful we were to have them be such an important part of Max and Ben's lives, and how much they are going to be missed. I got teary eyed when I left, but I am trying very hard not to make it harder for Max and Ben.

Funny.... I cried and cried the first time I dropped them off and drove away to go back to work... and now I am crying and crying to take them away......

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