You are MORE than this

So I have been unable to blog about a very difficult situation lately. It is not my situation, so out of privacy, I will not go into details.
It is in these details where the most pain has occurred. Lot's of new information coming to light, many sides to the story, lots of strings pulled and manipulated.
I wish I could grow wings and pull this person out of the "details" to look at the big picture.
I want this person to know that they are MORE than this.
I want this person to know they are MORE than the accusations, and name calling, and blame gaming.
I want this person to know that they are MORE than this.
I want this person to know that this situation does not change the fact that they are the most amazing, wonderful, loving, smart, and caring person they have always been.
I want this person to know that they are MORE than this.
I want this person to know that I hurt for them and I can never imagine what it must be like to be in their skin, right now.
I want this person to know that they are MORE than this.

I want this person to know that they are MORE than this!!!!!!

I want this person to know that they are MORE than this!!!!!!

What I learned on Oprah

So, since I was home with Ben, I had the chance to catch up on a little Oprah. I probably shouldn't have, because now I am walking around with a terrorist bird flu cloud over my head. Here is what I learned from the "experts" on Oprah's pretty new blue 20th anniversary set:

The terrorists are smart enough to build a nuclear bomb....
... they just don't have the ability to get the materials to build that bomb.

The majority of the current 20 something Arab generation rejects terrorism...
...and if you believe that statement you are scratchng your head as to how Hamas won the Palestinian election...
... and we don't need to be worried about the 20 somethings... we need to be worried about the 5-10 yr olds who are being trained now to sacrifice themselves in 10-15 years with no fear.

Americans want answers now... we live in 1 yr intervals and election cycles... nothing matters what happened last year, who knows what is going to happen next year so why bother....
... the terrorists live in generational intervals... they can wait for 10-20-60-100 years.... they have been fighting for hundreds of years....

A world wide pandemic is going to happen because we are now a global community.

They do not know if it is going to be the bird flu, but they know that something is going to happen...
... they suspect the bird flu because it is following a similar trend as the 1918 flu that killed so many.

Currently they bird flu only passes from animal to human...
... what they are worried about is when it mutates to pass from human to human and that has not happened yet.

Worldwide, AIDS has killed approximately 30 million people in 24 years
.... a bird flu will kill 100 million in 6-8 months.

It is currently impossible to produce enough medicine and vaccine for the world, because most medicines come from 2 factories and both are overseas.

The people that will be most affected by this virus are from 20-40 yrs of age, not the young and the fraile...
... this virus affects every major system from the brain to the respiratory to the gastrointestinal and causes the immune system to go into over drive. You don't actually die from the virus, your immune system kills you because it is so overwhelmed that it starts killing every cell in your body.

I do not believe in running around like chicken little, but I do believe the Earth has a way of cleansing itself, and I do think that we must accept this fact as an even trade for the way that we treat her.

I can also say that I believe in an afterlife. I have always had the belief that I would rather be in the epicenter of the bomb than on the out skirts and rebuild. I do not fear death, I am incredibly saddened at the thought of some one dying and continuing on my journey without their presence.

I did not take the above information and feel the need to panic and buy masks and stock up on Tamiflu, but I do feel the need to make sure that I can comfort and protect those around me if a crisis does happen. I think that if you have very been faced with a natural or man made disaster (hurricane or 9-11) you realize, your stock portfolio means nothing when you don't have clean water.

I think we must face the idea of crisis and disaster, not to panic, but to start running the dialogue in or head as to what we would do, how to keep a cool head, how not to get wrapped up in the media of it all.....

Moments you just don't want to forget

I was home today with a sweet little 1 yr old with rip-roaring ear infections in both ears. This morning we had to "pretend" our usual ritual in order for me to get the 3 yr old to school without a bigger than usual "NO SCHOOL" tantrum. We get Max to school and to his class. Then we start our way out the door with a very perplexed Ben. He kept looking in the direction of his class and looking at me with a, "Yo.. woman... you are forgetting something" expression. We get home and slowly Ben starts to get it....me... mommy... me....mommy.....no daddy... no max..... just ME & MOMMY!!!!!! We had such a lovely time playing in between tylenol and motrin highs. And I actually got some work done during the tylenol and motrin induced naps.
This evening I was finishing up some work while Daddy took over bath duties, I hear him call from the bathroom...."the little one is ready", a usual cry to come and start the process of drying, dressing, and settling down for night, night. I come down the hall and turn into the bathroom to see a site that warmed my whole body. All my boys in the tub... ALL my boys...Max and Ben were busting out of the seams that Daddy was in the bath and enjoying the toys as much as they were.

I have a picture, but I promised my love that I would not share it with the WORLD WIDE WEB.

Would you call it grape... or aubergine?

I bought an eye shadow last night called Aubergine Queen....
I am wearing it in full glory today as any good southern woman would....

Big Mistake.... HUGE!!!

Stat Counter.....

I had originally had a stat counter here, but I think the website went under because it just dissappeared one day. So I told myself that I didn't really need one, I pretty much know who comes by here because it is the same people who comment, and it was pretty much the same amount of hits per day/week/month, whatever.....
But then a friend mentioned her stat counter on her blog the other day... how many hits, where they came from, blah blah blah....

How FREAKIN COOL is THAT?!?! Now I am sure this has been around for awhile and I am not as technically advanced as most. I just never came across it or cared to research it... until yesterday.....

So I put a new counter on.... I already see trouble around the bend.... BIG TROUBLE! How many hits? How many unique hits? How long did they stay? Where are they from? How did they get here? What keywords did they use that googled them here?!?!

It amazes me what people can accomplish with too much free time.... we can't cure the common cold, but I know that someone from Randolph, Massachuesetts came to my site and stayed from 1-5 minutes....

Again....HOW FREAKIN COOL!!!!

P.S. Don't worry , you lurkers out there.... it can't give me nmaes... I know you are lurking around here occasionally but don't stop to comment... I just thank you for showing interest!

Big gloobily glops of energy

I have these incredibly big bursts of energy to do absolutely everything other than what I am doing.... I want to toss the current project I am working on and move onto others, but I know I can't effectively do the other things without completing the first task.

Kinda like a horse stuck in the starting gate.......

Question

Is it evil not to warn a 3 year old that a shot is imminent within the next 3 seconds......

So big red and little red had their check-ups this morning. Both are doing great and growing like oak trees (they are both in the 95% of everything). They were both so great and so cooperative that it killed me that I knew how this visit with "Daka Milla" was going to end.. she starts with hugs and kisses, but then she sends in those evil women with needles... lots of needles.... Ben got 4.... Max 1. Max was laying there smiling and flirting with the nurse.
"Now mommy is gonna hug you real tight...can you take a deep breath for me? 1....2....3....."
His face had the most pathetic, "WTF" look on it and big tears came streaming down. We both attack him with high pitched..."I know, I know.. it's okay, it's over... All done!" And he pantingly looked at us through tears like... "Well, what they hell did we do that for?"
Then it was Ben's turn... luckily being an amazing big brother he kept patting Ben's tummy and saying in the same high pitched voice he had just heard, "It's okay, baby Ben..."
Then we had to go get lab work drawn on Ben. The tech couldn't get it on the first arm after fishing for what seemed like an eternity in "mommy time". She gave up and went to go get more supplies to try the other arm. On take two, Max had enough of that woman making his brother cry, so he pushes his way between me and the tech to get to Ben, "Please don't cry baby Ben, it's okay, it's okay" The tech raised her voice to Max and he looked so hurt. I wanted to slap the tech, but instead I turned my attention to Max and let him know that she wasn't hurting Ben, and how proud I was that he wanted to help Ben.

I plan to print and frame this post in their room for easy access so that when they are killing each other in a few years I can remind them that there was a time when they cared for each other....

Prince Charming and the narcoleptic Sleeping Beauty

Ta Ta: Get up and get your ass in the shower
Me: Hey... I'm sleeping beauty....
Ta Ta: (crawling into bed and snuggling) Uh, huh...
Me: Prince charming would never talk to sleeping beauty that way.
Ta Ta: Okay ( kiss ) Now get your PRETTY little ass in the shower....

A shared journey

Friday morning as I was leaving for work my cell phone rang. It was Michael: "You need to call Allison, Todd's dad just died..."

I started crying before I pressed end. I had no idea how shallow wounds could be ripped wide open so quickly. I was crying for Todd... I knew what emotions were hitting him like bricks. I was crying for Allison... I know what it is like to want to fall to pieces in sadness for your husband who is feeling a hurt that no hand, not even a wife's, can take away. I cried for Todd's mother.... I have seen the emptiness that is left behind in a woman's life when her soul mate leaves before her.

I did not want to have to share this journey with someone so close to my heart. The journey of sadness, anger, and emptiness when the man you have relied on as the most wise man in your world leaves. The man whose approval meant more than anyone else. The man who always had the answers and could always help solve your problems. The man who was supposed to teach our sons how to golf. The man who was supposed to always sit at the head of any holiday table.

Todd,
I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am that your father passed away. There aren't enough hugs. There are no words. There is only the promise that I will never pretend to be able to change your feelings, but I can promise that I will always understand where those feelings are coming from and will sit in silence by your side. My shoulder is always available to lean on, my ears always open to listen and my arms are always open for comfort.

What I learned this holiday season

Miracles do happen... I hugged the man that came out of the car that was squashed like a pancake.... his injuries? Scratches....

I am not a SUPER mommy, but I am still a GREAT mommy.

It is not what is on the table, but who is around it.

My husband and I may fight a lot, but we are REALLY GOOD at the making up part.

It is still more fun (and more important) to build trains instead of cleaning the kitchen.

It really is more fun to give than to receive.

The digital camera is one of the best inventions ever.

If I continue to live my life the way I am now, I will not be around to see my children's lives.

It is possible to do 15 loads of laundry in one day...wash...dry...fold... AND PUT AWAY!

It is possible to get excited about a Disney World trip 6 months in advance.

My boys do get cuter every day.

I am blessed, truly blessed with family and friends.

Happy New YOU!

My 3 yr old niece, Kaitlyn's version of a holiday classic:

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
And a Happy New YOU!

Wishing you a Happy New YOU in 2006!