Wednesday, January 11, 2006

A shared journey

Friday morning as I was leaving for work my cell phone rang. It was Michael: "You need to call Allison, Todd's dad just died..."

I started crying before I pressed end. I had no idea how shallow wounds could be ripped wide open so quickly. I was crying for Todd... I knew what emotions were hitting him like bricks. I was crying for Allison... I know what it is like to want to fall to pieces in sadness for your husband who is feeling a hurt that no hand, not even a wife's, can take away. I cried for Todd's mother.... I have seen the emptiness that is left behind in a woman's life when her soul mate leaves before her.

I did not want to have to share this journey with someone so close to my heart. The journey of sadness, anger, and emptiness when the man you have relied on as the most wise man in your world leaves. The man whose approval meant more than anyone else. The man who always had the answers and could always help solve your problems. The man who was supposed to teach our sons how to golf. The man who was supposed to always sit at the head of any holiday table.

I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am that your father passed away. There aren't enough hugs. There are no words. There is only the promise that I will never pretend to be able to change your feelings, but I can promise that I will always understand where those feelings are coming from and will sit in silence by your side. My shoulder is always available to lean on, my ears always open to listen and my arms are always open for comfort.

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