Saturday, January 13, 2007

Designed to Sell

Oh, good golly, Miss Molly....

There is a "FOR SALE" sign in our front yard.

Let me just a take a moment to absorb that again....

There is a "FOR SALE" sign in my front yard.

My hubby and I did some major talking over the past few weeks. We have played polar opposites over and over, switching sides just to make sure we each got a turn to get excited and panic all at the same time.

I personally have lived with the self inflicted theory that we were not able to move and that we would never be able to move from the house that we currently occupy. We would never have the money, the opportunity, the whatever ugly thoughts I fed my psyche. I was not worth anything better, so I better make the best of what I have.
I was pretty good at fooling myself into submission.

Then I found something that I could love and took a leap of faith, did my usual research and found out.. yeah... we could get something better. But then it fell through and I got upset and started feeding the psyche it's usual chocolate covered ugliness.

So I stepped back, and I thought... why are you so upset? What is so disappointing about what just happened? What are you really feeling here?

I want more space.... I want to be somewhere were all our stuff fits and is accessible. I do not want to live out of bins that I continuously stack and re-stack from closet to closet to this side of the bed to that side of the bed. I acknowledge that some of this stuff needs to be purged, but most of it doesn't... I don't want to have to get rid of things that I want to keep just because I don't have room for them.

I want a bathroom... a real bathroom... NOT an attached closet that they hooked up a shitter, sink, and shower. I want a real bath tub that I can immerse my entire body into, light candles, turn on music and shut the door. I want to continue to sleep when my husband wakes up and gets ready for his day.

I want to be closer to stuff... I want options... I want a choice... I do not want all my decisions to be based on the fact that there is nothing close by so we have no choice. I want my children to understand that not every store is called WALMART.

I want to be closer to my family... my grandparents are about to move in with my mother and I WANT to be 2 minutes away from them so that I can help, even if it is only to bring them some milk. I want my children to know their grandmother very intimately because I never had the chance to know my grandparents other than holidays and short weekend trips. If and when I start to teach high school, we may need my mother's help when we are cutting it close to pick the kids up from school and I want it to be easy for her to make that part of her life, not stop her life.

I want a mature neighborhood. I want a neighborhood that is not made of the same 4 styles of brick over and over again with 5 foot sticks for trees. I want larger rooms on larger lots. I am willing to compromise age and a little elbow grease in order to get this. I understand it will take many years to do everything we would like to do, but I am okay with that as long as I have the shell. Of course I would love something brand new, but I also know that in order for all my other wishes to be granted, I would have to win the lottery or get something smaller than we are in now, and that is NOT an option.

I talked long and hard about it with Mike and we have finally come to the decision. Yes.... we want to move. There is no particular house we want right now. We have looked at several, and there are a few possibilities, but we not placing any eggs in any baskets. We are throwing our hat into the game. We have a beautiful house.. really... we have worked very hard and it is beautiful... but it is just not for us anymore.... and for those of you who know us.... you know it is not going to be long before those cute 4/2 yr olds turn into oak trees banging into our walls....

So again....

There is a "FOR SALE" sign in my front yard.

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