I live for moments like these....
Sunday, March 20, 2005
The lollipop gang!
So this was the second attempt to get these 5 munchkins together for a group shot! The first time crashed and burned because we scheduled the appointment during nap time and the photographer sucked! Luckily, this time we were well rested (my mother, my sister and I) and the kids were in good moods, too! Then the flash got screwed up and the photographer had to fix her camera...kids getting ansy... may day... MAY DAY!! We are losing them!!
L O L L I P O P S ! ! !
Who cares if they have lollipops in the picture... all five of them are in the picture and seem to be having a good time! That's capturing true life to me!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Webster defines....
Does it bother anyone else that when using the spell check function of this "BLOG" that "BLOG" comes up as misspelled?!?!
Life Under the Rock
....my goodness life sucks here under the rock...
The rock being work, life, laundry...clean, but still piled high on my bed waiting to be folded. My dear loving husband thinks that doing laundry means taking the piles (which I already sorted and put into individual laundry baskets) and transferring them from on machine to machine and then placing back into basket. It is then my responsibility to fold and put away. I play this game with myself that if I pile it on our bed, I must fold it before I go to sleep....(what a joke!)...
Any way... life is has been put into over drive lately so here is the re-cap from the passing lane....
-last week spent a lot of time at work trying to plan the company's 10th anniversary party for my mother and her partner... I had to schmooze a bunch of vendors into sponsoring this function. I hate asking people for anything, which is why I could never be a salesman... this on top of trying to do my work and keep the luncheon a secret was very exhausting.
-Friday we spent visiting with friends. Drew and Gavin, (friends from life in New York)surprised us with a visit. I had not seen them in 3 years! It was wild because two of my worlds came crashing into one another... my drinking, cursing stay up all night New York life met my mommy & me life. I miss those guys so much... I just hugged them and breathed in the lovely New York smell from their clothes! I made Gavin start his own blog....I hope he keeps up with it! Another life I can live vicariously through blog!
-Saturday we took a quick 4 hour trip down to Corpus Christi, TX for my grandfather's 89th birthday then came back the next day. My boys were such troopers! 8 hours in a car is a lot top ask of a 2 yr old and a 3 month old! The next day, Ben flipped out the moment I put him into is car seat.. I had to keep reassuring him that it was only a 5 minute trip to school, not another 4 hour trip in bondage...
... well this sucks... that is pretty much it... it reads like I barely did anything, but I am freaking exhausted, and I swear it required way more energy to live than it did to re-cap.
...I am crawling back under the rock until I become interesting again....
The rock being work, life, laundry...clean, but still piled high on my bed waiting to be folded. My dear loving husband thinks that doing laundry means taking the piles (which I already sorted and put into individual laundry baskets) and transferring them from on machine to machine and then placing back into basket. It is then my responsibility to fold and put away. I play this game with myself that if I pile it on our bed, I must fold it before I go to sleep....(what a joke!)...
Any way... life is has been put into over drive lately so here is the re-cap from the passing lane....
-last week spent a lot of time at work trying to plan the company's 10th anniversary party for my mother and her partner... I had to schmooze a bunch of vendors into sponsoring this function. I hate asking people for anything, which is why I could never be a salesman... this on top of trying to do my work and keep the luncheon a secret was very exhausting.
-Friday we spent visiting with friends. Drew and Gavin, (friends from life in New York)surprised us with a visit. I had not seen them in 3 years! It was wild because two of my worlds came crashing into one another... my drinking, cursing stay up all night New York life met my mommy & me life. I miss those guys so much... I just hugged them and breathed in the lovely New York smell from their clothes! I made Gavin start his own blog....I hope he keeps up with it! Another life I can live vicariously through blog!
-Saturday we took a quick 4 hour trip down to Corpus Christi, TX for my grandfather's 89th birthday then came back the next day. My boys were such troopers! 8 hours in a car is a lot top ask of a 2 yr old and a 3 month old! The next day, Ben flipped out the moment I put him into is car seat.. I had to keep reassuring him that it was only a 5 minute trip to school, not another 4 hour trip in bondage...
... well this sucks... that is pretty much it... it reads like I barely did anything, but I am freaking exhausted, and I swear it required way more energy to live than it did to re-cap.
...I am crawling back under the rock until I become interesting again....
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
3 months old
My precious, Ben,
I can hardly believe that you are 3 months old today. Sometimes I catch myself thinking "Has it already been 3 months?" and other times it's "I can't believe it has ONLY BEEN 3 months!" You have brought so much love and happiness to this family. I honestly think your brother, Max, believes we brought you into this world for his own pleasure. He absolutely worships you. His first thought every morning is to find you and make sure you are okay and his last action every night is to kiss you goodnight before he goes to sleep. And you love him as much as he loves you. You sit in your bouncy chair and just track his every move. When he finally comes to talk to you, your face lights up like a neon sign. We will see how long this mutual adoration lasts...
Your daddy can't wait for you to grow up. He talks all the time about the adventures that you 3 boys are gonna have. I just know that I am going to come home from work one day and the entire house is going to be covered in sheets as one big fort!
As for me...I live for your smiles... the pure joy that lights up your face with every smile is just one more thing that reminds me that God is great. I can sit for hours face to face on my pillow and watch you smile and "talk" to me in your sweet little voice. You are so much calmer than Max was at your age. I am sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I am more calm & confident as a mother the second time around. Max was off to the next task almost as soon as he learned the first. You are much more observant. Your only cries are when you are hungry or when we have gone out of your sight for too long. You are also my little snuggler...since you were sick, you needed to sleep with us to help keep you upright. Now you have no intention of sleeping anywhere else. Mommy has to trick you and allow you to fall asleep lying next to me before Daddy picks you up and places you back in the bassinet. I think we are going to move you to the big crib real soon. Your bassinet is over 60 years old and kind of creaky now that you are moving around more! Everyone in our family has used it, from your grandma and great uncle through me and your aunt, and your brother and cousins. There is a lotta love in that bassinet!
Oh my sweet Baby Ben...I have a feeling that you may not grow out of that nickname anytime soon! It is what everyone calls you...It just seems to roll off the tongue so perfectly! I also call you my little pumpkin for your red hair and Daddy calls you little squirt. Daddy's nickname comes from an action that comes out of you quite often... It is quite amazing how loud your bodily functions are for someone so small. There is no doubt when you have burped or when you are in need of a diaper change!
I hear you squeaking in your sleep right now... I guess I should get to sleep since you will probably be up to nurse in a few hours. You have slept through the night a couple of times, but usually you wake up around 3:30 or 4 for a middle of the night snack.. I think it is just because you want to snuggle in between Daddy and Mommy again! I really don't mind... snuggling face to face and smelling you helps me to get back to sleep...
I love you, my little prince.. I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next!
With all my love,
Mommy
I can hardly believe that you are 3 months old today. Sometimes I catch myself thinking "Has it already been 3 months?" and other times it's "I can't believe it has ONLY BEEN 3 months!" You have brought so much love and happiness to this family. I honestly think your brother, Max, believes we brought you into this world for his own pleasure. He absolutely worships you. His first thought every morning is to find you and make sure you are okay and his last action every night is to kiss you goodnight before he goes to sleep. And you love him as much as he loves you. You sit in your bouncy chair and just track his every move. When he finally comes to talk to you, your face lights up like a neon sign. We will see how long this mutual adoration lasts...
Your daddy can't wait for you to grow up. He talks all the time about the adventures that you 3 boys are gonna have. I just know that I am going to come home from work one day and the entire house is going to be covered in sheets as one big fort!
As for me...I live for your smiles... the pure joy that lights up your face with every smile is just one more thing that reminds me that God is great. I can sit for hours face to face on my pillow and watch you smile and "talk" to me in your sweet little voice. You are so much calmer than Max was at your age. I am sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I am more calm & confident as a mother the second time around. Max was off to the next task almost as soon as he learned the first. You are much more observant. Your only cries are when you are hungry or when we have gone out of your sight for too long. You are also my little snuggler...since you were sick, you needed to sleep with us to help keep you upright. Now you have no intention of sleeping anywhere else. Mommy has to trick you and allow you to fall asleep lying next to me before Daddy picks you up and places you back in the bassinet. I think we are going to move you to the big crib real soon. Your bassinet is over 60 years old and kind of creaky now that you are moving around more! Everyone in our family has used it, from your grandma and great uncle through me and your aunt, and your brother and cousins. There is a lotta love in that bassinet!
Oh my sweet Baby Ben...I have a feeling that you may not grow out of that nickname anytime soon! It is what everyone calls you...It just seems to roll off the tongue so perfectly! I also call you my little pumpkin for your red hair and Daddy calls you little squirt. Daddy's nickname comes from an action that comes out of you quite often... It is quite amazing how loud your bodily functions are for someone so small. There is no doubt when you have burped or when you are in need of a diaper change!
I hear you squeaking in your sleep right now... I guess I should get to sleep since you will probably be up to nurse in a few hours. You have slept through the night a couple of times, but usually you wake up around 3:30 or 4 for a middle of the night snack.. I think it is just because you want to snuggle in between Daddy and Mommy again! I really don't mind... snuggling face to face and smelling you helps me to get back to sleep...
I love you, my little prince.. I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next!
With all my love,
Mommy
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Happy Birthday, my love!
Dearest Ta Ta,
In honor of your 37th birthday...here are 37 things I love about you:
1. I love that you walked into the Olive Garden 6 years ago... and walked back in 3 days later to get my number.
2. I love that you took me on walking tour of Manhattan on our first date.
3. I love that you have a heart of gold
4. I love that you never question any of my crazy requests
5. I love that you always support me even when I question myself
6. I love that you blessed our lives with 2 beautiful sons
7. I love that you make both of their faces light up when you enter a room
8. I love that you cut your braids for me...(another post)
9. I love that when I watch you sleep I can see the little boy that lives inside
10. I love that little boy inside
11. I love that you always fake a yawn when something makes you cry
12. I love that everything makes you cry!!
13. I love that I never need a blanket because you keep me warm
14. I love that no matter how we sleep our bodies curve into one another perfectly
15. I love that you cook...incredibly
16. I love that once you have made a friend they are a friend for life
17. I love that you are incredibly loyal to others
18. I love that you are as big as a bear
19. I love that you are as cuddly as a teddy bear
20. I love that you remember all the important dates, even though I usually forget them
21. I love that you love to paint
22. I love that you are good with your hands
23. I love that you always give more than you are asked to
24. I love that you give even when you are never asked
25. I love that you are one of the hardest working people I know
26. I love that you never take yourself too seriously
27. I love that you never take me too seriously
28. I love that you know when to take me seriously
29. I love that your love is unconditional
30. I love that there is not a judgmental bone in your body
31. I love that you know exactly what to do to make me smile
32. I love that you dream bigger than boundaries life gives you
33. I love that your dreams are always about how to make our family's life better
34. I love that every kiss goodbye leaves me looking forward for every kiss hello, again
35. I love that your smile makes my soul flutter
36. I love that your sexy blue eyes makes "something else" flutter
37. I love that I can't wait to finish this list and go snuggle with you and be the first person to wish you a Happy Birthday!
I love you!
me
In honor of your 37th birthday...here are 37 things I love about you:
1. I love that you walked into the Olive Garden 6 years ago... and walked back in 3 days later to get my number.
2. I love that you took me on walking tour of Manhattan on our first date.
3. I love that you have a heart of gold
4. I love that you never question any of my crazy requests
5. I love that you always support me even when I question myself
6. I love that you blessed our lives with 2 beautiful sons
7. I love that you make both of their faces light up when you enter a room
8. I love that you cut your braids for me...(another post)
9. I love that when I watch you sleep I can see the little boy that lives inside
10. I love that little boy inside
11. I love that you always fake a yawn when something makes you cry
12. I love that everything makes you cry!!
13. I love that I never need a blanket because you keep me warm
14. I love that no matter how we sleep our bodies curve into one another perfectly
15. I love that you cook...incredibly
16. I love that once you have made a friend they are a friend for life
17. I love that you are incredibly loyal to others
18. I love that you are as big as a bear
19. I love that you are as cuddly as a teddy bear
20. I love that you remember all the important dates, even though I usually forget them
21. I love that you love to paint
22. I love that you are good with your hands
23. I love that you always give more than you are asked to
24. I love that you give even when you are never asked
25. I love that you are one of the hardest working people I know
26. I love that you never take yourself too seriously
27. I love that you never take me too seriously
28. I love that you know when to take me seriously
29. I love that your love is unconditional
30. I love that there is not a judgmental bone in your body
31. I love that you know exactly what to do to make me smile
32. I love that you dream bigger than boundaries life gives you
33. I love that your dreams are always about how to make our family's life better
34. I love that every kiss goodbye leaves me looking forward for every kiss hello, again
35. I love that your smile makes my soul flutter
36. I love that your sexy blue eyes makes "something else" flutter
37. I love that I can't wait to finish this list and go snuggle with you and be the first person to wish you a Happy Birthday!
I love you!
me
A quick one...
SO my very dear friend Em's sweet little daughter has a new favorite word...fffffffffffuck. I have not heard this adorable young lady share this new favorite word, but apparently she likes the way it rolls off the lips. I cannot blame her.. it happens to be one of my favorite words, too... especially spoken with passion and usually preceded by mother- but that is just me....
What I love even more is the story behind the word... I shared this on her blog, and I thought I would share it with you: (I have no historical proof ... just a funny story I have heard over the years)
Apparently there was a time in the good ole day when you needed permission to have children from the King. You were notified of his royal highness' permission when the following initials were written on your door...
F-fornicate
U-under
C-consent
K-(of) King
What I love even more is the story behind the word... I shared this on her blog, and I thought I would share it with you: (I have no historical proof ... just a funny story I have heard over the years)
Apparently there was a time in the good ole day when you needed permission to have children from the King. You were notified of his royal highness' permission when the following initials were written on your door...
F-fornicate
U-under
C-consent
K-(of) King
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Shame
This is for HER and HER . Two ladies I have known most of my life that I have shared some of the most intimate details of my life at some point or another. She had the courage to admit she had a demon and she had the courage to share her demon so that she wouldn't feel alone. Here goes...I am stepping into the circle of shame in order to help stamp it out for good...cause guess what ladies and gentlemen...we all got it...it posesses us all and ya know what else...no one thinks any less of you... except for yourself....Here is my shame:
I could be one of those women...
I have had fantasies all my life of just walking away and never looking back. I keep thinking that the more I commit myself to a certain life (married, becoming a mother, then becoming one again, committing to friendships) the more I will want to stay, but the opposite happens. I think of the quickest way out the door. The moment I make a plans... I try to figure out how to get out of them. I lie to the ones I love the most because I don't want to disappoint them with the truth. I didn't want this life, but I was too scared to live the life I really wanted so I tucked my tail in beneath my legs and said "I wasn't good enough for that life". I don't want to be married because it will just end up in divorce anyway. Our entire first year of marriage was riddled with stupid fights that ended with me telling him I wanted a divorce...until he called my bluff. I negotiated my unborn childrens' life to save my father's life. When my dad was diagnosed, I was pregant with Max. When my dad was dying, I was pregnant with Ben. I told God that if he had to take one of them... take my kids... because I didn't know them yet and I wouldn't miss them. I think God took my dad because I offered this horrible transaction... twice. I don't want to be a mom because I do not want to be responsible when they end up fucked up, obese, miserable, and blame me for being too fucked up, obese and miserable to change this inevitable fate.. You wanna talk shame... I walk around in public with it on this horrid body 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for the past 30 years...
...and I am so fucking sick and tired of it...
How about you? Go.. shout it out... I dare you... you need a witness?... let me know and I will be there...no judgements... no questions....
I could be one of those women...
I have had fantasies all my life of just walking away and never looking back. I keep thinking that the more I commit myself to a certain life (married, becoming a mother, then becoming one again, committing to friendships) the more I will want to stay, but the opposite happens. I think of the quickest way out the door. The moment I make a plans... I try to figure out how to get out of them. I lie to the ones I love the most because I don't want to disappoint them with the truth. I didn't want this life, but I was too scared to live the life I really wanted so I tucked my tail in beneath my legs and said "I wasn't good enough for that life". I don't want to be married because it will just end up in divorce anyway. Our entire first year of marriage was riddled with stupid fights that ended with me telling him I wanted a divorce...until he called my bluff. I negotiated my unborn childrens' life to save my father's life. When my dad was diagnosed, I was pregant with Max. When my dad was dying, I was pregnant with Ben. I told God that if he had to take one of them... take my kids... because I didn't know them yet and I wouldn't miss them. I think God took my dad because I offered this horrible transaction... twice. I don't want to be a mom because I do not want to be responsible when they end up fucked up, obese, miserable, and blame me for being too fucked up, obese and miserable to change this inevitable fate.. You wanna talk shame... I walk around in public with it on this horrid body 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for the past 30 years...
...and I am so fucking sick and tired of it...
How about you? Go.. shout it out... I dare you... you need a witness?... let me know and I will be there...no judgements... no questions....
Hello... Am I still here?!?
Hello...
Am I still here...?
Have I stepped over to the otherside....?
Driving into work this morning I am side by side with an 18-wheeler pulling a construction trailer when....BAM!!!!.... he blows out his tire that is right next to me.. I thought I had a heart attack! It was so loud it sounded like a bomb. or at least what I think a bomb would sound like!
Am I still here...?
Have I stepped over to the otherside....?
Driving into work this morning I am side by side with an 18-wheeler pulling a construction trailer when....BAM!!!!.... he blows out his tire that is right next to me.. I thought I had a heart attack! It was so loud it sounded like a bomb. or at least what I think a bomb would sound like!
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
New pics
I was posting pics of my nephew Konner (see below) and I realized that I had not posted pics of my boys in awhile!
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Oscar, what did they do to you?
My dear sweet Oscar.. I have dreamed of holding you since I was 10. I have had fantasies of walking down red carpets in beautiful gowns and millions of dollars worth of jewelry dripping from my neck and ears. I have beamed at the thought of shaking and crying as I walked down the aisles and up those steps to accept you and thank everyone I have very known! SO what the HELL did they do to you this past Sunday!!!
Since when do we degrade the "lesser" awards by making the nominees stand in a line on stage so that they can face all of the hundreds of people in the audience and millions of people at home when they are rejected. At least when you lost before you could melt into your chair and pretend you weren't there. Or worse yet, they made some get there awards from their seat... unable to fulfill their own childhood fantasies of walking to the stage so that they could cut an extra 15 seconds from the show. This time was then added onto the end of the show when the credits for the director and producers flash across the screen for at least 20 seconds each!!!
And who the hell did Beyonce blow to get that gig? What creative team thought,
"Hmn... who could we get to sing an operetta in French, and a duet for a song that wasn't originally a duet and already beautifully sung by Josh Groban?"
"I know, I know.. that bootylicious girl... "
The only saving grace of the show was that Jaime Foxx got his much deserved Oscar... I just love him! He was wonderful as "Ray" and charming in every interview that I have seen him give.. it's obvious he is just amazed that he is where he is....
P.S... I will still except my invitation to any future Academy Awards Show!
Since when do we degrade the "lesser" awards by making the nominees stand in a line on stage so that they can face all of the hundreds of people in the audience and millions of people at home when they are rejected. At least when you lost before you could melt into your chair and pretend you weren't there. Or worse yet, they made some get there awards from their seat... unable to fulfill their own childhood fantasies of walking to the stage so that they could cut an extra 15 seconds from the show. This time was then added onto the end of the show when the credits for the director and producers flash across the screen for at least 20 seconds each!!!
And who the hell did Beyonce blow to get that gig? What creative team thought,
"Hmn... who could we get to sing an operetta in French, and a duet for a song that wasn't originally a duet and already beautifully sung by Josh Groban?"
"I know, I know.. that bootylicious girl... "
The only saving grace of the show was that Jaime Foxx got his much deserved Oscar... I just love him! He was wonderful as "Ray" and charming in every interview that I have seen him give.. it's obvious he is just amazed that he is where he is....
P.S... I will still except my invitation to any future Academy Awards Show!
I am amazed at my breasts!
Yes ladies and gentlemen.. this goes into the TMI catagory but I just gotta go there... I am amazed at this mama moo jouice machine.. I just pumped 8 oz of milk....
...8 OUNCES!!....
I just pumped 1 glass of a daily recommended serving for an adult out of my breasts!
...8 OUNCES!!....
I just pumped 1 glass of a daily recommended serving for an adult out of my breasts!
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