Hard Candy Christmas

I miss you dad...

I really, really miss you.

I am not sure if you sent the snow as a joke or if God just waited to send the snow until after you were gone (we all know you moved away from NY to get away from the snow). Either way it is beautiful. Max is definitely your grandson. He loved the snow for about 5 minutes before he started wandering back to the door because he was so cold. It is a Christmas of firsts... first "Whitish" Christmas... first Christmas with Ben... first Christmas without you.
I hate the fact that we have to pretend that everything is okay and that life goes on without you. I know that we will have new traditions in the Christmas' to come, but this Christmas all I can think of is the traditions that aren't the same without you.
Remember the time you and I went to get dinner on Christmas Eve and when we got back Santa had already been there? Mom and Karen were getting ready for Midnight Mass and said that Santa had to stop by our house early and that we missed him!
Remember the year that you and Karen fought over the red M&M's and Karen played a joke on you by removing all the red Christmas M&M's and left you nothing but the green ones?
Remember how you always waited until the last minute to get mom's gifts and yet they were always the most beautiful, like her Waterford crytsal egg collection?
Remember the Christmas we spent in the apartment after our house burned down? It is hard to believe that we fit 4 adults, 3 cats, and a Christmas tree in a little 2 bedroom apartment.
Well... I gotta go... Max just came in here and it is time for night night. He is very excited about all the gifts under the tree.
Don't worry dad, just like the old song goes," we'll be fine and dandy.." just feels like a Hard Candy Christmas.
I miss you dad...
I really really miss you...