D-E-T-O-X

They don't call it DETOX for nothing...
So I have a wedding in a month and I have ballooned up to the highest weight I have ever been... no numbers necessary, really.... so I decided that since my sister had such incredible success with LA Weight Loss, that I would give it a try... not the "$1000, actually go to the store and sign up" try, more like the "I'll get it from Karen to help jump start and lose the water weight" try. I know this is not healthy, I know that I need a life change, but that isn't what this is about..this is about getting into my fancy clothes because I do not have the cash to buy anything new and fancy to wear to my cousin's wedding.
So the first 2 days is called DETOX. You are allowed 2 eggs, all the protien you want, green fresh vegtables, and 4 oranges. Okay, not so bad... I can handle that, right?
Breakfast: 2 scambled eggs and an orange.
Lunch: Romaine lettuce, celery, cucumbers, and broccoli with Tuna ... and an orange
Snack: Orange
Dinner: Cucumber, steak, chix,..oh yeah and an orange....
I pee'd so much that you would think I was pregnant.... (I am not)... it was okay... had little hungry spurts here and there... let me re-phrase that...little "I want chocolate because I can't have chocolate" spurts... but I managed to get through it okay. Then on the way home from work I feel icky... can't put my finger on it, icky.. call Karen...normal... you are detoxing from the carbs....
This morning... lost 5 lbs... good job...
All day today I have done nothing...NOTHING... at work except search for a response email from my daily email conversation with her and wonder when my next time to eat is.. and what can I have (re-play yesterday)... and talk myself out of reaching into my desk drawer where I know I have a stash of saltine crackers....
You would think that I had just stopped smoking, hell smoking crack for that matter, with the way I am feeling. OVER SALTINE CRACKERS!!!!!!!
I hate this, I fucking hate this....I hate that I was going to treat myself to a Diet coke (which is allowed) and the vending machine gave me a VANILLA Diet coke and I was ready to pick it up (yes, the vending machine) and throw it against the wall in anger because the label wasn't marked VANILLA Diet Coke... it is labelled DIET COKE... just plain ole DIET COKE... which is what I can have and what I wanted!!!!
I feel like Meg Ryan in "When a man Loves a Woman" and she is in a crumpled mess on the floor crying because she just wanted to make a phone call....