Sunday, October 23, 2005

The Fugly Police

So it is time once again to open my little vault of fears and share with you some of my ugly skeletons.
I am in hurry this evening, trying to get out of the house to a store that is about to close. I have been cleaning all day, but there is no time for a full shower with hair and make-up etc (45 minute project at least). My loving husband is urging me and playing dirty by sending our eldest in..." 'mon mommy, les go... we are leeeeving you!" So I quickly throw base, powder and mascara on, my hair into a pony tail and we are off....
Shortly after leaving our block I see myself in daylight in the side mirror.
ME: Good God... I look bad.... what the hell am I thinking?!?!
Mike: Baby, you're beautiful...
Me: Thank you, but you are lying!
Mike: Max, isn't mommy beautiful?
Max: Uhmm... yeah... sure....(not exactly convincing)
Mike: What's the big deal?
Me: The big deal is this.... I have come from a long line of women where you are taught early... you never...EVER... go out without make-up and hair perfect... you can slack on the clothes, but you must always be prepared.
Mike: For what?
Me: Exactly... you never know who you might see? With my luck it is now that I am gonna run into the fugly police... Oprah.. what not to wear...whatever... and I will be plastered on millions of TVs all over the world as the ugliest woman alive... And there is no convincing Oprah when you try to tell her that you almost never go out into public looking that way and she responds with "There is never an excuse to look the way that you do!"

There is no one worse on your self esteem than the fugly police....

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