I, TOO, am training to be a superhero....

It was a foggy morning in metropolis. I was on my way to my undercover day job behind the desk. My super sensitive mommy radar detected a disturbance in the force as I was driving, and just ahead of me I noticed 4 beautiful dogs all attached to one walking leash running madly on the sidewalk, a cocker spaniel, a lab-like puppy, a beagle, and a chiuaua - all the same auburn and white coloring. I followed them slowly and looked around to see if there was an owner chasing from behind out of breath. I was hoping this would be an easy "save the day", but as a superhero, you gotta do what you gotta do.

At one point they realized I was tracking them and they reversed direction. I, too reversed direction, not bothering to use my radar to detect if anyone was behind me which they were. They managed to use their superhero honker horn to alert me of this potential fatal error. Luckily chaos was averted - and potential bumper damage. My new honker honker horn superhero friend stopped and offered aid in my quest. We grabbed the leash and while I translated care and concern through "Das a gud puppa.... good puppas..... gooooooooodd puuuhhhhhpaaaaaaahhhhhhs!!" she grabbed her cell phone and started calling the several numbers on the tags.

No answers anywhere.... dagnabbit..... foiled.... what to do?!?!? what to do?!?!?

We get a phone call back. "Ray" is supposed to be watching all the dogs. "Ray" lives near where we are. "Ray" is an elderly diabetic.

Okay... now there may be a bigger story here than just a puppy rescue. There is a potential sick man somewhere around here who could have collapsed while walking his dogs. We find out where this man lives. I call my office and have them direct me to his house. We will start there and try to figure out how the puppies got from there to where we found them.

Luckily, we did not have to. As we approach his house, we see him in his pajamas and a coat looking for the dogs, just in the opposite direction of where they went. He thanked us over and over and over again.......no problem sir... all in a days work....

Now I smell like wet puppy.....

I know you are here......

Oh L-a-u-r-e-n.........

I know you are here.....
I see you in the blogosphere....

You are hiding from me.........

Thank you, Pantene

I would like to thank Pantene for ruining one of the greatest "fight for life - don't give up" type theme songs.... I used to listen to Unwritten and sing at the top of my lungs with hope and enthusiasm.... now I just think about how much shampoo I have in my shower and start a mental list for Walmart.

Last night at our house.....

Last night was a night where everyone was in their own room doing their own thing kind of nights. I was in my bedroom watching television. Max wanders in and heads into the bathroom. He takes care of his business and the next thing you know he has gotten undressed and turned the shower on and gotten in. I am not exactly clear if daddy has sent him in to do this (which happens a lot) or if he has chosen to do this on his own. What is remarkable this time is that he was in his own little world the entire time. He did not even acknowledge my existance or request my assistance.

It happened to be at a crucial part of my TV show so I let him stand in the shower for a bit, and then I thought...he can do this himself. So I grab the towel off the rack and open the shower door:

Me: Buddy, you think you could take care of all of this by yourself tonight?
Max: (looks at me with this empty stunned expression)...uhm.. well... I can't wash my back....
Me: Okay, how about I wash your back, but can you take care of the rest?
Max: Uhm, ... yeah... Yes, YES I CAN!

So I leave him and go back to my TV show. The next thing you know, he has showered, dried himself off, put his PJs on, brushed his teeth and COMBED HIS HAIR!!! He then walks in front of me and presents himself with arms wide open in a "TA DA!"

Mommy: Max ... I am so proud of you!! That was a very big boy thing of you to do and I want to thank you for doing it so well!!
Max: Uhm, mommy... now that I am a big boy and can do it all by myself... can I take a shower by myself in my own shower upstairs?
Mommy: Yes, angel... this weekend when we go to the store, you can pick out the soap and shampoo for your shower.

He grins from ear to ear and high tails it out of the room - 10 feet taller and off to tell daddy all about it!

Did I mention Ben is training to be a Superhero?

Ahhhhh... let us back up a little then.....

Well, we have discussed previously that Ben has no fear... well he is scared of the dark, but that is different.... he has no fear in his physical limitations. He pretty much throws himself down slides, climbs the highest peaks and jumps off of them.... yadda yadda .....

The other night he was jumping on our bed. It was more like flinging himself onto the pillows he had stacked in the middle. The "good mother" part of me started to stop him because we do not jump on beds, but then I realized what he was doing. He wasn't just jumping up and down, he wasn't just falling forward, he was flinging his feet behind him, reaching his arms in front of him, pausing in the air and allowing gravity to bring him down. He did this a few times in rapid succession, and I got Mike's attention who was showering Max. I gave big eyes to Mike, like, LOOK AT WHAT OUR CHILD IS DOING!!!! He then comes closer and Ben realizes we are watching him. He doesn't stop, he proceeds to tell me exactly what he is doing " You see mommy..(pant pant pant), I haff to keek my feet like dis...(pant, jump)... and then I go down!

Okay... my child is trying to fly......

Today, he is getting out of the car. Normally he gets out of his chair and either jumps to the ground or sits down and wiggles out of the car. Today, he gives me his evil flirty eyes and the next thing he does is place both hands on the top of the door and flings the door further open with his force, dangles from the door for a moment then releases his grip and falls the floor.

Apparently this is practice for when he is dangling off the side of a building while saving the day.

I think I need to get this child into gymnastics classes.

I DID ask....

Let me preface this with, I DID ask if he was okay and if I needed to call 9-11 BEFORE laughing.......

So this morning I hear...BOOM BADDA BOOM BANG CRASH....coming down the stairs. I run from the bedroom out towards to the noise. Max RUNS into me like a chicken with his head cut off, "DADDY FELL ... AND HE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND AND AND AND AND HE BROKE THE WALL!!!!""

Okay, okay.... I come around the corner to see Mike lying on the floor, and yes, his foot was still in the wall.

Apparently he was carrying Max down the stairs and slipped about 1/3 of the way from the ground floor. I desperately try to wipe the smirk off my face and look concerned and ask about his condition while trying to help him up. I get him to a seated position and remove his foot from the wall. Max is still running around, so I ask Mike if he fell on Max - and he said - uhm, no.... I was carrying him in the front so he pretty much just surfed down the stairs on me!

Ben - quiet as a mouse slides his way down the wall to look at the hole..."Daddy, why you break da wall whif yur fut?"

Seriously, Universe?!?!?!?

There is nothing like a practical joke from God to kick start your morning.....

So I am running late this morning because I was packing for a weekend trip we will be taking. I get everything organized and we are off to school and work. I have to run a few errands prior to heading to work, like oil change, inspection done, get car washed, gas up, yadda yadda yadda....

I am BLOCKS from the place where I get my oil changed and inspection done and what do I see in my rear view mirror?!?!? Flashing lights! WTF?!?!?! I am NOT speeding! I am the queen of school zones and purposely slow down even more to slow the bastards that try to speed through zones... I KNOW he is not coming after ME!!!!!

Is there a problem officer?
Yes, ma'm.. you have an expired inspection sticker.
(are you serious?!?!?) Officer... I promise you I am heading to the corner of (X) and (Y) to the Kwik oil change place... we are heading out of town and I am going RIGHT NOW to take care of this...(panic look to the backseat at the kids) We are going on a trip, right guys?!?!
Max: Yes, sir, we are going to see Grandma and Grandpa Tula.....
Officer, I would not have my 5 yr old and 3 yr old lie about this.
Yes, Ma'm.... let me see your license and proof of insurance.
(CRAP CRAP CRAP...WHY IS HE GIVING ME A TICKET FOR THIS?!?!?!?!?)

He is gone, what seems like forever, and the next thing you know his partner is getting out of the car and walking around my car. Seriously, WTF?!?!? I see her glance towards the registration and nod to the officer in approval and she heads back to the car. He comes up and gives me a warning.

Thank you, sir.... thank you, thank you, thank you.....you can follow me right now if you want...
That won't be necessary, ma'm.

I spy with my little eye......

The above is one of our favorite games in the car... but I have already blogged about that before, so on to the story for today....

Mommy: I spy with my little eye...something.... yellow
Max: (pointing to the man on the sidewalk) His shirt!
Mommy:Good Job!
Max: I spy with my little eye something BROWN!!!
Mommy: That car?
Max: NOOOO mommy!!!! Your HAIR!!!!


Did you hear that???


That is the sound of a former blonde's ego being crushed with reality!!!

I don't need your help, Ben

Oh the hard times of two growing little boys.

One of the things that I am damn near pulling my hair out in frustration, is teaching the fundamental life long lesson of "following directions" to my oldest son, my sweet adorable boundary testing 5 year old.

His father and I have come to tantrums when trying to get Max to follow directions. We will not put the bat down and he refuses to stop throwing us curve balls. I know he knows the difference, because when threats are given, magically the behavior stops... but only temporarily. So in the grand picture these souls have been brought together to learn our lessons, his obedience and ours is patience.

Lately, this conversation comes to great melt downs on the way home from school. Mostly because we are all tired and unable to keep calm and collected. There is lots of crying and yelling and condescending talk... all things that I am not proud of, but I am getting to the end of my rope. And it does not help that I suddenly find myself on a board of executioners mid conversation when my brown nosing little 3yr old decides that when I am trying to collect my thoughts and count to 10, it is his turn to start in on his brother....Mommy says stop it... you unnnerstand?!?!?!? After I advise Ben that I am the mommy and I do not need his help, he Jekyll and Hyde's it to his sweet personality and advises me that HE is not doing whatever it is that I am currently accusing Max of..."Mommy... I no talk back to you" or "Mommy, I just sit here and catch a bubble."

Well last night, once again, we are faced with the same conversation. Max's teacher sent home a note asking that we discuss the importance of following directions in class.... great, what I thought was only a family battle has moved into the school. So I tell him what the note says and advise him we are going to talk about this, young man!!! I tell him to stand outside Ben's class, while I step in and get Ben. I come out and he is gone. I walk around the corner and see him in the lobby reaching into the snack basket. I advise him to get his hand out of there and get into the car and put his seat belt on, NOW. We get in the car and I inform him that he will eat dinner by himself at the kitchen table, go straight to shower time and straight to bed as soon as we get home..... he will learn this lesson even if it means he never sees TV again and he loses access to all of his toys. I start to go into a tirade that his teacher is upset with him, Mommy is upset with him, Daddy is upset with him..... and very loud from the backseat comes..."And BEN is very upsef wif YOU!!!!"

Thank you, Ben... but I do not need your help.

Going commando... not as easy as it sounds!

So yesterday morning as I was getting Ben dressed for school he asked me, "Mommy, can I go commando for nigh nigh tonight?" Now are around this house, going commando at night time means going to bed with only pajamas, no underwear and no overnight diaper pull ups. I blinked several times to buy time and responded with a detailed conversation in 3 yr old language. This means he cannot go pee pee in his bed because he would get all wet and cold, and he would have to get out of his bed in the middle of the night and go pee pee in the potty. He shook his head in agreement at all the arguments I had. I ended the conversation with him by clarifying even further - more for me than for him - so tonight you are going to bed with only your pajamas, no nigh nigh diaper, right......and with a huge smile Ben exclaimed - YES!!!

So we get home and he enthusiastically advised daddy of his new commando status post shower time. He WILL NOT be wearing nigh nigh diapers anymore. Mike looked at me with concern and I said we were going to give it a try. Now I am much more willing to go down this road because he has been waking up in a dry diaper for a couple of months now. He knows to go to the poty first thing when he wakes up, so he is probably ready to take this step.

Shower time comes, the pep talk is given again, and Ben puts on his pajamas without a night time diaper with great excitement:

8:15 - Off to bed they march
8:30 - Bed
9:00 - pitter patter of small feet in our bedroom - okay, let's go pee pee for good measure and send you back to bed. Daddy is upstairs and advises me he has already pee pee'd twice in the potty before this.
9:15 - pitter patter pitter patter....Ben? What is he problem? He squeals and climbs into bed with me...." I cannot close my eyes" Well - try!! Send him back upstairs
9:30 - see above
9:45 - alright Ben - that is enough!!! I start to threaten him with the fact that I was going to put his diaper back on him if he didn't stay in his bed. He nods yes. Wait a minute.... are you nodding yes because you understand? Ben, do you want to put your diaper back on? Slow nod yes. If I put your diaper on will you go to bed and stay there? Slow nod yes.

So I put the overnight pull up on, he sighs with relief, runs upstairs, and goes to bed.

Apparently going commando is harder than it seems. He might as well have been an adolescent teen sleeping on satin sheets for the first time. It was too much to handle and he needed the protection of extra padding just to get to sleep.....

Maybe next time......

I needed that talk

We needed that talk.

Last night in the dark of our bedroom my husband and I had a very serious talk. Probably not serious to anyone else but very serious to us... to me. I do not want to get into the details of the talk, what I want to talk about is the events and feelings that led up to the talk and the way I felt afterwards.

It was late. I had been up watching TV even though I was exhausted and should have turned the TV off and fallen asleep hours before. I am like my children in that, if the TV is on, we cannot sleep. It is a constant stimulus that keeps our eyes open no matter what. My mother had my boys this weekend and she even commented on the fact that they were up later than normal watching TV and kept saying they couldn't sleep. She finally turned off the TV and no more than walked into the bathroom and took off her contacts and they were already sleeping hard.

But back to me.... my point is that I was exhausted and exhaustion makes me weak and emotional and vulnerable to thoughts that may or may not be rational. I think they are always necessary, but I do admit that somethimes these moments might look differently after a good night's sleep. This can be a good thing or a bad thing, because sometimes a good night's sleep and different perspective gives me a great excuse to place issues back in my Pandora box and up on a shelf to fester and grow unattended.

Recently, I had been having issues and not been able to place my finger on it. I wasn't sure what my problem was and I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Because whenever I stepped back and looked at the entire forest, it was full of wonderful beautiful trees that made me very happy and fulfilled, yet these issues kept creeping in corners and leaving a light film of dust on the furniture. And it wasn't coming from one source, so I knew my problem wasn't with one person in particular, unless of course you consider that one perosn was me.

So here I am, in the dark, listening to the creaks of our house and the rain falling on our windows. All of a sudden, I am overwhlemed with thoughts and feelings that come rushing to the surface. Thoughts that act like a tumbleweed, meaning the one thought leads you to the next thought and the next thought and so on. The next thing I know, I have hit a nail on the head and at the same time that I am anxious and upset, I find myself taking these huge comforting breaths, almost like soul cleansing breaths.

I felt horrible and wonderful all at that the same time. I was laying there debating on what to do next. This is important. This is a big moment. I hate to wake Mike up, because that is not fair to him, maybe I need to get up and write about it, maybe I should wait and see what else comes up and, and, and, ........

In all this "thinking" I am snapped back into my body when I think I hear footsteps in the other room, maybe one of the boys walking around in the night. I touch Mike and he wakes up and I tell him I think one of the boys is up, and he walks around looking for them. He comes back to bed, false alarm. He rolls over to head back to sleep. This is when the tears start. He is up. Just start talking. He is up. Don't let this moment pass. But it is not fair to keep him up with MY issues. JUST START TALKING.

And I did. And then he did. And then there was a peace. Deep soul breaths and heavy sleep.

A Strategical Parenting Error

So I quite possibly may not have used the BEST judgement in regards to my children yesterday.

Let's just say yesterday was a day that I wandered out of my bedroom only to make sure the children had food and were not killing each other. I apologized to my husband for not being able to be a wife or a parent, but well... I just couldn't muster the gumption. The point being, the children spent alot of time yesterday watching TV or playing in their room, except for a short period where they did get outside to play in the yard with daddy.... this is not nearly enough time to release all the energy that a 5 and 3 yr old boys create in one day.

After dinner, I drew a bath in our bathroom (also known as the little pool) and aterwards, they snuggled with me in our big chair and watched yet more TV. Lo and behold, the new gladiators was on NBC.... You know, the remake of the old classic, early 90's, American Gladiators where poor contestants get the crap beat out of them with foam jousting sticks and oversized boxing gloves. I thought.... the boys would find this interesting and, bonus for me, it is not animated.

Big Mistake

The boys went wild!!! I mean, time to bring out the cage and pad the walls with pillows wild. The LOVED IT!! They, of course, immediately took color sides ( it is the blue competitor against the red competitor) and named daddy and I the gladiators (Wolf for daddy and Crush for me). They "wrestled" on our big king size bed and climbed their daddy like a mountain. The only way we could get them into their beds was to pretend our stairs were the mountain thingy the competitors climb and the hallway to their rooms was the gauntlet they had to wrestle past the gladiators (who were armed with pillows, FYI). It took a good 1/2 hour for them to finally settle down and fall asleep.

Perhaps American Gladiators is not a good choice for right before bedtime.

I plan to add this to our nomination reel for Parenting of the Year Award.

And a belated "Happy New Year" to all of you!!!

So, of course I have had grand plans to write deep thoughts about last year and hopeful thoughts of this year, but that ain't happening..... so I thought I would try the blog meme that has been going around were you post the first sentence of the first post of each month.... and I think it sums up the year quite nicely....

JANUARY – Man, I can be dark.

FEBRUARY – There is a SOLD sign in my front yard.

MARCH – So I have been sunbathing on the river bed of that big beautiful river in Egypt lately.

APRIL – It's not the GREAT FLOOD....but definitely flooding is a theme in my life right now.

MAY - A shift happened yesterday, it was subtle, probably no one but a mother would have noticed, but it happened.

JUNE – So we were evicted from my mother's over the weekend.

JULY – It's no longer a house being renovated, it is a home.

AUGUST – I am pissed to the point of tears.

SEPTEMBER – My sweet angel Benjamin.... it is time... this is the last 3 day weekend opportunity we are going to have for a while, so Daddy and I decided, we are tired of buying pull up diapers..... (see previous budget meltdown)...... this weekend, it is all about pee pee and poo poo in the potty.

OCTOBER - Thank you for finally getting here.

NOVEMBER – Because I am always one to accept a challenge, I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo this year.

DECEMBER - There are 2 questions you ask yourself when you are looking at a new home: 1. Can I make it my own? 2. How will I decorate it for Christmas?

Do you see? Do you see??!?!?!

This is what happens when I am not bound to anything and there is no deadline.... my blogging gets totally slacky... is that a word? Slacky..... if truthiness and woot can make it into the dictionary, surely slacky can too.....

Random bullets because it is the holidays and I haven;t posted in awhile:

- Big huge annual meeting at work is over. It nearly kills me every year because it is so overwhelming to gather and analyze the numbers, it is terribly boring and monotonous, and this year the numbers sucked so it was hard to report those numbers. I knew going in what the numbers were going to look like, but I always hate being right. I had the power point presentation done and loaded with only 15 minutes to spare before our advisory committee showed up. My mother was on my patooter every hour or so with... are you going to make it? Are you going to get done? And as I told her before, I will never be done. I will never have a project or show or anything that is done with plenty of time to rest before hand. I just can't do it. It is not in my nature...why, pray tell is that?? Because there is always room for more and there is always room for improvement. Truth be told, I was complete with the numbers long before 15 minutes before presentation, but I was constantly re-evaluating the numbers, pursuing the story deeper, and coming up with more things to report. As I sit here now, there are still things I want to know from those numbers.

- So 48 hours after said big meeting, I hosted the office Christmas party at my house... uh huh.. you heard me..... I like to cram it all in with no time for things like, oh I don't know.... sleep. It was great though, the food rocked and the people all showed up with their jingle bells on.

- I have bought no Christmas presents yet. This would freak most people out... but no.. not me....UPDATE..... I saved this as a draft before lunch and went shopping at lunch, so I cannot say that I have bought no gifts... because lunch was a haul!! I am clearly not done quite yet, so tomorrow I will arising at the crack of dawn before Mike leaves for work, to go and do some last minute shopping.

- We are going to visit my grandparents this weekend. They were supposed to come here, but my grandfather fell after a trip out to eat. He was fine, but the issue arose that if he is so tired after a quick trip to a cafeteria, how is he going to do traveling 3 hours and staying someplace he is not accustomed to for an extended period of time. I am sad they are not coming, but I am more sad that this is another reminder that things just will never be the same.

- if you don;t have a digital frame... get one! They are the coolest things I have seen in a very long time. My cousins, sister and I are all going gin on one for my grandparents. My grandma has always had a problem with too many picture frames of all the grandkids and great grandkids. Now that they are in an assisted living apartment, space is even more of an issue. i am solving this by having the families forward me pics that I am including in the frame... lots of pics... one frame.....priceless... problem solved.

- So I made a tomato basil bruchetta type thingy for the office today. I stopped at the store for the bread and then decided, well, it could be served with tortilla chips too... so I head over to that aisle... and well if we are having tortilla chips, we HAVE to have queso..... and if we have all this salty crunchy stuff, we HAVE TO HAVE something sweet, so I pick up some Christmas cookies... next thing you know I have made a mini brunch for my office staff.....

- Speaking of office staff, my assistant has quit as of next Friday.... pissy pants pissy pants pissy pants...... I cannot say that I didn't know nor can I say that I begged her to stay, but it still is crappy. She never wanted the job in the first place so I have spent the majority of the past year yelling at her to rise to the occasion or get out and she chose to get out. I am pretty sure that I am going to have to take some time to fix the bumps in the road in her position before we ever consider hiring a new person here.

Merry Christmas People...... I say this because I have no clue if I am going to find time to come back here before the big day......

P.S..... I just bought the boys this jungle gym dome thingy from Sam's .... you know, one of those dome triangular climby things that you see at playgrounds.....it is gonna be a bitch for Mike to put together outside on Christmas eve.......in the dark... in the cold.....and all those hexagonal screws..... yeah...sucks to be santa-daddy on Christmas eve.....

Happy Birthday, Ben!!

My angel, Boo Boo Bear,

Three years old..... my goodness... three years old. I am still in amazement that MY BABY BOY is three years old.

But I cannot call you my baby boy, anymore. You make sure to correct me by reminding me that "I a big boy now!" And you are. You breezed through potty training, you dress yourself, and you will always try to do something by yourself first before asking for help... "I do it, I do it" is the most common phrase in your very large repertoire.

In the past few weeks, you have run head strong into your big boy shoes. You know what you want, how you want it and when you want it. Your sentences and thoughts are clear, and there is no confusing your opinion with your brother's opinion... because most of the time, it is usually the complete opposite. You two can have a heated debate over the correct sound an ambulance makes and follow it up with a friendly game of "I spy with my little eye...".

Max, your big brother, is your very best friend. The two of you cannot be separated. Even when you are fighting, you still manage to hug and say I love you ... and I still believe it. The other day, it was just the two of us in the car and you were talking about a little boy in your class. I asked if that boy was your friend, and you said, "Yes, but he not my best friend..." and I asked, "Well, who is your best friend?"... "MAX!!!"

If Max is your best friend, then daddy is your best buddy. You two have a relationship unlike any other father son relationship I have seen. There are a lot of times when you and daddy have taken off to the man store (Home Depot) or just to run some errands, and somehow time escapes you both and several hours later you are walking in with toys and treats and I am never really sure if you accomplished your original task. You are daddy's shadow from the moment you see his car parked in our driveway at the end of the day.

You are my teddy bear. There is no place you would rather be at night then in my arms. There have been many times when I have woken up in the middle of the night, and you have made it into our bed and crawled into my arms to snuggle up to my neck. If you are not feeling well, the only place that can comfort you is my lap. We have a kissing game that we love to play. It starts by me asking you if you know where my kisses are? You respond by pointing to you lips enthusiastically. I say that I don't believe you, and you show me by planting a big fat wet juicy kiss on my lips. I exclaim, OH THERE IT IS!!! I then ask if you want the kiss back, which of course you do, so I plant a big kiss on your lips. The you tell me, no mommy, you keep the kiss and give it back. We can go back and forth for forever giving each other kisses..... and you always close your eyes when we kiss... always. There have been a few times that I keep my eyes open and you open you eyes with frustration... no mommy...close your eyes!!!

I have to thank you, pumpkin, for coming into my life when you did. You were born right after your grandpa had died, and it was a very sad time for your mommy. I was so sad that I was a little worried I couldn't be the happy mommy I wanted to be for you. But when you came into our life shinning like a star, I had no choice but to instantly fall in love with you. And I know that you and grandpa never had the chance to meet here on Earth, but there is so much of him in you, that I feel blessed to be loving him through you.

I love you, angel.... every bouncing ounce if energy and every sweet kiss!!

Love,

Mommy

Because it is MY blog

Because this is MY blog.... I present to you the boys' Christmas production that will bore all of you to tears, EXCEPT, of course, maybe Grandma, Oma, and Tiff..... and maybe you, Christina....

Max in "All Around the World is Christmas"



Ben in "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer"



There is potential trouble in my future now that I am figurng our this technology...

Please send prayers

Please go visit these wonderful people:

(****UPDATE***** Please be prepared that the most recent post from Alex's mother is very difficult to read, I know some of you read this blog at work, and I do not want you to be caught off guard.)

Alex's blog

I have silently witnessed this family's journey from Alex's diagnosis of brain cancer through their blog. His very long and courageous journey ended today.

I became attached to this family because their son Alex and my son Max were the same age. My heart ached for this wonderful woman as she candidly shared their story on a weekly basis. I prayed for healing everyday as I clicked their blog on my blog roll to check up on his progress. When the news turned for the worse, my daily prayers were to surround this family with love and support. Now my prayers will be for strength and courage to face each day without Alex.

God bless Alex Kasnoff and God bless the Kasnoff family.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.....

There are 2 questions you ask yourself when you are looking at a new home:

1. Can I make it my own?

2. How will I decorate it for Christmas?

It is these 2 questions that have entered my mind each and every time I have ever walked into a new apartment, home, etc. In my world, there are 2 different faces for a home, the regular face and the holiday face. I would honestly keep the holiday face on year round, if it was socially acceptable, but it is not, so I have to wait until late November-ish, early December-ish to haul out all the lights, glitz and glam that I decorate my house with.

The past weekend started on Friday night with a light dinner of scrambled eggs. We did not want to waste precious time with a messy dinner and long clean up. We brought all the boxes down in order for me to do a quick sweep of "Oh, yeah, I remember I have that" and "Oh gosh, I completely forgot about that" and "Wait, I did buy that last year in clearance!" Then off to the Garden Ridge to get the additional things needed. Moving into a bigger house this year, meant we needed more stuff.... more banisters to wrap with garland, more windows to put lights in, you get the drift.

Saturday was planning day. It is the hardest day in the process. It requires me to open and TAKE OUT all the crap in the boxes and decide where it is all going to go. I would randomly walk through the house with stuff in my hands trying to decide themes, plug access, do I have enough garland for both the window AND the door opening.... ya know, important stuff. Everything was laid out and then reassessed for what additional things were still needed. We had to interrupt the process to go to a house warming, but at least it got me dressed and out of the house once.

Sunday, go day. Sunday we were in a race against the clock to do the outside decorations before the rain started (FYI - we lost the race, but the rain did not deter us, just made us wet.) By 4 PM we were headed back inside the house to work on the inside,and at 11 PM, I was so exhausted I wanted to throw up.

I am almost there. Just a few minor things that need to be finished and the empty boxes put back up in the attic. I promise pics soon, just a little more tweeking before the final presentation.

Goodbye Nablopomo

Oh you dear, sweet, NaBloPoMo ,

The time has come for us to end our little affair. Our daily "chats" have been a journey this past 30 days. I have enjoyed them all, even the weekend ones that were hard to remember. I was determined to stay committed to you, and I did. I will admit that there were times when the conversation was strained, and I had to think hard about what I wanted to say/share, but once you engaged me in this sweet little text box.... well.... the words and thoughts came flowing out.

I thank you for the excuse for the daily rant. Right before this affair, I was distant and unavailable, coming to this little part of myself once or twice a month, but like starting a good exercise program, this 30 day boot camp has helped me get back into the groove of one of my favorite pastimes. I cannot promise a daily post (those pesky weekends, with plans and families and such), but I will promise to try re-commit myself to this treasured journal of my life.

Enough of this crap..... I gotta get back to work......

Strangers

Conversation in the car today:

- Mommy, yesterday we talked about strangers at school
- I am gonna turn off the radio because I want to hear all about this
(Turn off radio, because this is an important conversation)
- Mommy, I am not supposed to talk to strangers, if a stranger talks to me, I am just gonna run away
- That is a very good idea
- I am gonna run to you or daddy, or grandma, or oma or opa or.... ( and the list continued of adults he knows and trusts)
- That is right.... you run away
- AND I am NOT going to take any candy
- Good boy
- Because the strangers put things in the candy that make you sick
- That's right, you never eat or take anything, toys or candy or anything, unless you ask me or any of those adults that you just said, and if we say it is alright THEN you can take the candy.
- Uhm, I will just take the candy but I won't eat it until I ask you, is that okay mommy?
- No, pumpkin, because you wanna know why? If you get close enough to a stranger to take candy from their hand, they may try to grab you and then you won't be able to run away.
- No... then I am just gonna run to you.
- That is a good idea
- And if a stranger comes up to you, you have to run to me, and I will protect you.
- That's right, we have to run to each other and protect each other.
- And I am gonna grab Ben's hand, too, and run, okay?
- That would be a wonderful big brother thing to do, I am so proud of you.
- Mommy, how do you spell "jingle bells"?

And with that, our "afternoon children's special" concluded.